


Tough Questions

by OtakuGirl11324



Category: Supernatural
Genre: American Sign Language, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs in a Car, Deaf child, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean gets a dog, Dean is just trying to get by, Dean/Cas Big Bang, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Gangs, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Use, Self-Hatred, Tattooed Dean, Teacher Castiel, Violence, non-con/rape (not Dean/Cas)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 11:51:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 77,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16241051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtakuGirl11324/pseuds/OtakuGirl11324
Summary: When Sam dies in a tragic accident, Dean’s life is thrown into the roller coaster of unseen turn of events. He is left with Sam’s daughter, Elizabeth, who is deaf, and he has to try to raise her without screwing everything up like he inevitably always does. It’s especially hard to do when you’re running away from your past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to Polaris for being my beta! 
> 
> You can look at the amazing artwork that Cryptomoon made for this fic here: https://pantydean.tumblr.com/post/178875435552/my-deancasbigbang-art-for-otakugirl11324s , go and show her some love!

It was so unexpected. It’s something most people are forced to think about one time or another. But it's something they never think will actually happen. One little, not so simple, question that carries more weight the longer you ponder it.

_What will you do with your child if something happens to you?_

Dean has always thanked his lucky stars that he was never forced to think about that question. He never had kids, never even been in a real relationship, and he had never planned on having any kids. It isn't that he doesn't like kids, he loves them, it’s just that he isn’t father material. Sam has … _had_ always thought differently, but that’s another story. So the day when Sam had his first child it was both the happiest and most remorseful day of his life. His daughter, Elizabeth, was born deaf, and Jessica had died during childbirth. This turn of events is what forced Sam to think that dreaded question.

_What will you do with your child if something happens to you?_

Sam had told Dean that day in the hospital that he would be getting Elizabeth if something ever happened to him. Of course, in those kinds of moments, Dean never thought anything of it. Nothing would ever happen to Sam. It just wouldn’t. So naturally, he had said okay to put his brother’s mind at ease.

Now, here he stands on November 2nd, Dean thinks sardonically that yes, of course it would be November 2nd, in the only black suit he owns, in the pouring rain. A dark umbrella popped open over his head, mud splashed up on the hem of his pants. Elizabeth is sitting snuggly on his hip trying to keep herself warm against the cool wind, a jacket wrapped around her shoulders. Light brown hair spilling over her shoulders, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, confused as to why they are burying her daddy.

If she was able to speak, he’s sure she would be asking him in a broken sob, begging him to make them stop because daddy said he has a lot of work to do. He can’t do his work if they put him in that muddy hole. Daddy won’t be able to get out and come home if they keep throwing dirt on the box. _Please stop._

This is the only moment in Dean’s life that he’s glad Elizabeth is unable to speak, unable to ask what is happening. If she could, he isn’t sure he would be able to keep himself together. He doesn’t know how to qualm her fears. So he does what he knows how to. He hugs her tighter to his side, praying this is enough to comfort her. The whole while he is being forced to think about that dreaded question that he had been able to avoid for so long.

_What will he do with this child if he dies?_

He doesn’t have anybody close to him anymore. Mary is dead. John is … well, Dean hasn’t spoken to him in years. Not to mention he wouldn’t want Elizabeth to be raised the way he and his brother had been. The only person Dean had was Sam, but now he’s gone. Sam gave him his daughter and left him behind.

It isn’t right to think that, he _knows_ he shouldn’t think like that, but he can’t stop himself. It isn’t fair. Why did this happen? Why did this happen to _Sam_? Sam was such a good man, an even better brother, and the best father. He didn’t deserve any of this. It should have been Dean. Why wasn’t it him?

Sam was much more cut out for raising a child. He wanted a kid so bad, and when he got one, it felt as if all the pieces of the puzzle were finally coming together. Elizabeth looked as if she belonged there sitting on his shoulders. Or when Sam tossed her into the air, her hair fanning out wide around her little head as she starts to fall back into the safety of her father’s arms. But then life took him away only a short five years into her life.

Dean doesn’t know how to do this, he isn’t cut out to raise a child. He knows- he just _knows_ he is going to fail his brother. He is going to ruin his brother’s child and Sam is going to be so disappointed in him. Sam put so much trust into Dean, and he can feel himself crumbling under the pressure. Why had Sam picked him? The fuck-up of a big brother that he had to pull from the gutter countless times.

In fact, he hasn’t been able to keep a steady job for a long time, and he is currently between jobs even now. He’s been a walking mess most of his life. Drinking away his problems for as long as he can remember, so it’s no wonder Dean can never hold down a job. Although, he has Elizabeth now, so something is going to have to change because he will not let her get taken away from him. She’s the only family he has left, and he will do whatever it takes to keep her safe. He won’t be the reason why her life is sad, or at least he is going to try his damnedest not to be.

As long as his past doesn’t come to haunt him, he may be able to succeed, or at least not royally fuck it up. All he has to do is steel himself and get his shit together. He’s good at that. Well, not getting his shit together, but wiping his emotions to become the man he has to is something he can do. He can do this, he will, for Sam and Elizabeth. For once in his life, he will make his brother proud.

The funeral was over before he even realized. Just going through the motions, not being there presently in his mind, it always made everything fly past him. He remembers only a few people coming up to him and Elizabeth to tell them they’re sorry for their loss. Others simply looked at them sympathetically, or maybe they were looking at Elizabeth. They were probably feeling sorry she was left with someone like him.

Sure, none of the people at the funeral really know Dean, but his look is enough to ward off the faint of heart. There are tattoos that trail up his neck and cover the majority of his back, chest, thighs, and arms. Granted, in this suit, they can only see the tattoos on his neck. If they saw him without a shirt they would likely be looking at him with more than distrust in their eyes. His expression, that has hardened out of necessity in his lifetime, is naturally bone-chilling. The look in his eyes has scared off more than a few people over the years.

The days after the funeral all seem to mesh together. They end up going back to normal life, or at least as normal as it can be. Elizabeth has moved in with Dean and goes to school while he goes to work.

Elizabeth is a good girl, but not even a month into kindergarten, Dean gets a call at work from her teacher. Her teacher asks him to come in to take her home. She was hurt in a fight on the playground this afternoon; she scraped up her knees when she was pushed into the rocks. This, of course, makes his heart sink to his stomach like a rock. His thoughts are swimming but he collects himself and tells her he will be in today.

He curses his luck that he has to leave early. His boss has already been pissed at him for arriving late every day because he has to drop Elizabeth off at school all because of the place he lives. The school bus doesn’t come as far as his house. So if he wants Elizabeth to ride a bus, she would have to go to a school in a sketchy neighborhood, and he will not do that. Because of all that, he now has to ask to leave early. When he asks though, his boss tells him something he _really_ doesn’t want to hear.

“Yeah, sure, you can leave early. Don’t bother coming in tomorrow either. You’re fired.” It comes out almost politely, but the smirk on the short British man’s face is anything but. “I knew hiring someone like you would be a mistake.”

Dean swears up and down as he leaves the shop. Pissed at his ex-boss for firing him and being heartless. Pissed that Crowley didn’t give a rat’s ass about what he’s going through as long as it doesn’t affect his work. Pissed at himself for getting fired. Pissed at life for always giving him the short end of the deal. The only thing he isn’t pissed at, and will never be pissed at, is Elizabeth. She may be part of the reason as to why he has to leave early, but he will never blame her.

When he gets to the school and talks with her teacher, he wants to go find those kids that were bullying Elizabeth and show them what real fear is, but he doesn’t. No matter how bad he wants to teach anyone who dares harm Elizabeth a lesson, he would never scare a kid like that. Not intentionally anyway.

He demands that the kids that hurt her be punished and apologize to her. They don't leave the school until Dean accepts the principal's reassurance that the kids will be taken care of.

That night, while Elizabeth is sleeping on his side, Dean scours the internet for job openings as a mechanic. He finds one that pays pretty well, but the only problem is that it’s all the way in Kansas.

Thinning his lips, he mulls the options over in his head. Looking at all the job listings he has, weighing each and every one, discarding a few that he deems aren’t worth it, and moving others to the top of the list. In the end, he decides to try to apply for the job in Kansas, along with a couple others in other places.

After Elizabeth gets home from school the next day, the two of them have dinner and settle into their routine. They claim their regular spots on the couch. Elizabeth routinely falling asleep on his side while watching Doc McStuffins. That's when his phone starts to ring.

He quickly digs in his pocket where the singing is sounding from. He has a momentary pause when a thought finds its way into his mind. Memories of Asia's “Heat of the Moment” playing, indicating Sam calling him, and how he will never hear that again. He shoves the thoughts away forcefully and answers the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello,” A gruff voice sounds from the other side of the phone. “This Dean Winchester? This is Bobby’s Auto Body and Scrap.”

Dean jolts upright so fast he’s surprised he didn’t sprain something. But his actions accidentally cause Elizabeth to fall face first into the warmth of the couch with a muffled ‘oof’. He twists his body to make sure she’s okay as he replies to the man.

“Yes, yes this is Dean. I’m Dean.” He cringes and pinches the bridge of his nose for sounding so nervous. He can’t help it.

Elizabeth pushes herself to glare at Dean. Her wavy brown hair falling haphazardly over her face and shoulders. He gives her a lopsided grin seeing her bed mused hair, he can’t help but ruffle it more. It makes her groan and push his hand away half-heartedly.

“Can you come in for an interview tomorrow around noon?” The gruff voice replies.

“Oh, uh, I won’t be able to. I live in New York.” He is sitting half on the couch and nervously chewing the inside of his lip as he waits for the man to reply. It takes a moment longer than he’s comfortable with but he finally does.

“You free now?”

“Yes,” Dean says almost too enthusiastically and shoots up off the couch to pace the length of his small living room. “Yes, of course, now is a good time.”

Elizabeth watches him with curious eyes. It isn’t every day that he gets a phone call. Actually, the whole time Elizabeth has been living with him he hasn’t had one person try and call him, not even once.

Doing his best to calm himself in preparation for, who he assumes is Bobby’s, questions. He takes a couple steadying breaths. After he does that, the interview goes rather smoothly. He even finds himself wanting to smile at how well it’s going. When it winds down to the end of the questions, Bobby huffs quietly and pauses in talking. Dean guesses he’s looking over a paper where he wrote his answers.

“You’re hired. When’s the earliest you can start?”

The question startles him speechless for all of two seconds before he grins wide and explains when he can start. He then thanks the man and tells him he won’t let him down then hangs up.

When he turns to Elizabeth with a wide smile she’s still staring at him quizzically. He swoops down, picking her up and spins her around. She screams joyfully and laughs loudly even though she has no idea what’s going on or why Dean is so happy. All she knows is that she loves seeing him smile like that.

 

 

Moving to Kansas takes a full day. He had found a small two bedroom home with a nice backyard on the outskirts of the town. After that, he had all his things shipped down to it but packed enough food in the Impala to last them until he can get to the store. He has to admit, he feels both sad and happy about moving away from New York. Sad because he is moving away from Sam and all the good memories he has with him there, however few there are. Happy because all the other memories he has of the place are tainted and full of regret. So standing here in their new home is solemnly happy. It’s a blank slate, for the most part.

They spend the rest of that day unpacking the boxes and organizing everything. They set up Elizabeth’s room first. Making sure she has someplace to sleep tonight before they get too distracted and tired and it gets too late to do more that night.

Every so often Dean will catch Elizabeth frowning when she thinks he isn’t looking, so he stops cleaning early for dinner. He puts a gentle hand on her shoulder with a questioning smile as she turns her big hazel eyes to him.

“How about we stop early for some dinner?” He speaks slowly so she’s able to read his lips. When he’s done speaking she quickly smiles and nods enthusiastically.

He makes something quick, mac and cheese and hot dogs, and serves it to them both at the small dining table. He feels bad that he doesn’t know sign language, but he’s been learning it, albeit slowly. He’s not a fast learner when it comes to things like that. Machines he can learn in basically one night, but languages he was never good at. That’s just another thing Sam excelled at and yet again proves he’s better than Dean. Sam was fluent in sign language because a friend of his from college, Eileen, is deaf.

Dean is the first to finish his dinner and he waits for Elizabeth to finish before he takes her plate and sets it in the dishwasher with his. Turning around to face her, he makes sure she’s looking at him when he signs the one thing he’s got down pat.

_(Are you okay?)_

Her eyes widen, clearly she didn’t think she was being as transparent with her emotions as she was. Hesitantly she shrugs and her eyes drop immediately to her fidgeting hands in her lap.

He moves beside her and crouches next to her chair, his hand falling on her knee in a comforting gesture he uses with her all the time. When she doesn’t look at him, he softly taps her knee and she gradually turns her attention back to him.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?”

She thins her lip and glares almost petulantly, shaking her head, but Dean knows that look.

“Hey, it’s okay to be scared. Everyone gets scared.” He tries to appease her, but she avidly shakes her head and grabs for her notebook and pen that she keeps on her at all times. She scribbles down something and hands it to him. Taking the notebook, he reads the words.

_E: You’re never scared._

Dean wants to laugh at how absurdly wrong that statement is. The only thing that pulls at his mouth, though, is a frown as he looks up to meet her wide eyes. They are almost pleading, begging him to tell her she’s right, even if she isn’t aware she’s doing it. She needs to know that everything is going to be okay and that he has all the answers. That look has never terrified him more because he’s never been more scared in his life than recently.

Although, for Elizabeth, to help her through her fears and uncertainties, he’ll be the man with no fears.

He gives her a small smile, praying it reaches his eyes when he hands her back her notebook. “That wasn’t always the case. I’ve simply conquered all my fears.” He puts a hand on her shoulder. “So it’s okay to be afraid, kiddo.” He winks at her and sends a wide smile. “I’ll protect you from all the monsters.”

That earns a shy smile from her. She drops her head and tries to hide the fact that she’s smiling, but no smile gets past him. His grin widens and he shoots his hands in to tickle her sides. “You trying to hide that smile from me? I don’t think so, pipsqueak.”

She damn near screeches when Dean starts his tickle attack. This leads to Elizabeth squirming out of the chair and running from the dining room screaming, only to scream louder when she sees him chasing her.

It’s a good thing they live a little ways out of the town, or else he’s sure they would end up with some kind of noise complaint sooner or later.

That night, when Elizabeth is in bed, Dean is sitting on the couch with the TV on low. The light from the screen is flickering across the dark room and illuminating Dean’s face and body in bursts of pale blues. Hanging loosely from his fingers, holding it with just enough grip that it won’t crash to the floor, is something he considers a close friend, a good old bottle of beer. This is his third bottle tonight, which he’s surprised with his restraint because normally he’d be on his fifth or sixth by now.

He’s been sitting here in the living room for a few hours now just waiting until he passes out and is able to catch a little sleep. It’s like his body refuses to let him sleep. Even if he does end up falling asleep, the nightmares eat him alive, so he has a very fitful sleep that leaves him increasingly more tired than before. The only thing he’s found a little bit of solace in, that is able to bog his mind down momentarily, is alcohol. So yeah, he’s given up trying to sleep until he’s got a few beers in him.

It happens when there is an infomercial about Shamwow. The TV randomly shuts off, sending the room into a dark void. Well that’s odd, is the first thing Dean thinks. Once he turns it back on, he settles back and relaxes again. Maybe there was a shortage or something.

About to take another drink, the rim of the beer bottle touches his lips and the TV turns off again. This time, Dean grumbles under his breath. What the hell is going on with the damn TV? Turning the thing back on, he watches it with a glare, as if daring it to turn off again. When it doesn’t, he nods and leans back going to take another sip of his beer.

And it turns off.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” He grouses and slams his bottle on the glass part of the coffee table a little harder than he meant to. Thankfully nothing breaks. “Fine. Whatever. I was going to bed anyway.” On his way out of the living room, he bitches about it being a ‘fucking cheap piece of junk’ even though he knows that isn’t true. The TV was Sam’s and Dean was there to help him pick it out. It was, by no means, cheap.

And when he finally drags himself to bed he’s out within the hour.

 

 

Morning comes a lot sooner than Dean wished it would; another night of fitful restless sleep, another exhausted unwanted morning. The sun is too bright and cheery for him as it beams directly in his face through the window. He grumbles under his breath and rolls onto his stomach, stuffing his face into his pillow and groans long and loud into it.

He has to get up soon because today he’s going to Elizabeth’s school to get her enrolled …

In five more minutes.

When he finally gets up and cooks them breakfast (bacon, eggs, toast, and orange juice), he wakes Elizabeth up by falling heavily on the end of the bed and purposefully bouncing more than necessary.

“Rise and shine, pipsqueak!”

She scrunches up her face and groggily rubs her face, trying to make the sleep leave more quickly. When she cracks a sleep crusted eye at him Dean beams at her and signs the other word he’s got down pat.

_(Bacon!)_

She smiles sleepily and rubs her face again; Dean leaves her to get up, heading back into the kitchen to monitor the food. As he’s plating their breakfast, Elizabeth stumbles out of her room and into the table’s chair. Sliding her plate in front of her, he sits on the other side with his own food. The only difference is that he has a steaming mug of coffee instead of orange juice.

Elizabeth lazily chews on some toast and pulls out her notebook, writes something, and slides it to Dean.

_E: What are we doing today?_

He writes his response and slides it back.

_D: Getting you enrolled in school, then I was thinking maybe go check out the local restaurants and get some lunch, sound okay?_

She nods around a mouthful of egg, her cheeks full. It makes her look like a chipmunk, he muses. That thought makes him grin as they finish up their breakfast in comfortable silence. Once breakfast is done, they get ready for the day and pile into Baby. Making sure Elizabeth is buckled in the back seat before taking off, music droning softly through the silence, they head for the school.

 

 

It isn’t hard to find in a small town like this, a town with a population of no more than 1500 people, max.

He parks her in the elementary school’s parking lot, the both of them getting out and walking towards the building. Elizabeth crashes into his side and he smiles down at her, taking her hand.

When they enter the school, he wishes he could say it brought back good memories, but that would be a lie. The ugly tan walls and overall stuffiness of the air makes Dean feel like he’s suffocating. School was never a place he had fit in, although, he doesn’t fit in at most places. High school was the worst though. All those hormonal teenagers walking around acting so self-absorbed and downright brutal, constantly bullying those weaker than them just to make themselves feel better. Give him criminals, gangsters, or the fucking mafia any day. Fuck teenagers.

Although, Dean huffs a humorless laugh, he supposes he isn’t any better than them in some respects.

The school is quiet, but he occasionally sees a person or two down the long hall through the window as they sit in the waiting room outside the principal’s office. He’s filling out some papers for Elizabeth and the whole while the secretary, Lisa Braden, as her little nametag pinned to her shirt offers, is eyeing Dean hesitantly, trying to be discrete about it and failing miserably.

She’s an attractive woman, and if he were feeling more like himself, he’s sure he would be hitting on her so fast it would make her head spin. Except, he hasn’t exactly been feeling much like himself recently. Going out and getting laid doesn’t have the same appeal that it used to, not right now anyway.

Sam would probably try admitting him to a hospital if he ever mentioned that he wasn’t feeling up to getting laid. Knowing his brother he would probably say something along the lines of ‘It’s when a dog stops eating when you know something is wrong.’ That thought makes him smile to himself.

After five minutes of Lisa continuously sneaking glances at him, Dean purposefully catches her eye and sends her one of his flirtatious smiles and a little wave with his fingers, trying to come off as least threatening as possible. Her eyes widen and she slowly smiles, waving back and coyly dropping her eyes back to the computer screen. With a smile and shake of his head, he finishing up the paperwork.

Not long after he finishes that up, the principal's door opens and she steps out. There’s an air of confidence and authority to the way she walks that Dean can respect. When she sees him, though, there’s a small falter in her steps and she plasters a false smile on her face. He internally rolls his eyes at that. Everyone judges him at first so it’s no surprise; he just has to be his pleasant, oh-so-enchanting self.

Standing up from where he’s sitting he walks over and hands the secretary the paperwork with a polite smile and then meets the principal’s skeptical stare. Dean holds out a hand, smile widening to show he’s innocent. Even though he clearly isn’t but nobody here knows that. As far as everyone here knows, he’s just a punk man that really likes tattoos.

“Hi, I’m Dean Winchester, Elizabeth’s guardian.”

Her eyes fall to his outstretched hand, staring at it as if it’ll infect her upon contact. Just when Dean thinks she isn’t going to shake his hand and he’s about to drop it awkwardly to his side, she tentatively takes it in her palm and gives a short shake before immediately dropping it again.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Winchester, I’m Naomi Haven, the principal. You may call me Miss Haven.” He wants to laugh at how far she’s rammed that rod up her ass but he contains himself. Naomi, or Miss Haven as she oh-so-kindly supplied, takes the papers he just handed to the secretary and scans them over before frowning and looking up at Dean. “You don’t have any emergency contacts listed here.”

“Yeah, we just moved here, actually just got in yesterday. I put the phone number for my work down and my cell phone is there too. We just don’t know anyone else here yet.”

“I see,” Naomi turns her eyes back to the papers then meets his eyes again with a conviction that wasn’t there a second ago. “Mr. Winchester, may I speak to you privately for a minute?”

He frowns, not liking the insinuated lilt in her voice. The subtle disapproval in her words. It makes him feel as if he’s done something wrong. Even though he’s certain he hasn’t. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything is fine; I like to get to know the parents of the children.”

“Oh,” He glances back to Elizabeth, who is watching them, then turns back to look at Naomi. “Okay, just … one sec.” Dean crouches in front of Elizabeth and smiles up at her. “I’m going to talk with Miss Haven for a minute. Are you okay waiting with Miss Braden until I get back?”

Elizabeth looks past his shoulder to Lisa, who smiles and gives a friendly wave. She turns her eyes back to Dean and hesitantly nods.

With a gentle pat on her knee, he stands up. “Alright, I won’t be too long.”

Naomi closes the door behind them when they enter her office, and she motions for him to take a seat, “Please, sit.” So he does.

He feels weird sitting in here; being called into any principal’s office, even now, gives Dean chills. It doesn’t help that he was a horrible kid and got sent to the principal more often than he’d care to admit.

“How’re you both settling?” Her voice pulls him abruptly from his thoughts, and he astutely meets her eyes. “No doubt moving was stressful; I’d like to make sure everything is okay at home.”

“Yeah, everything’s...” He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck out of nervous habit. “great. We’re gonna check out the town after we’re done here, see what there is.”

Naomi nods, resting her elbows on the desk and bringing her folded up hands just below her chin. “And Elizabeth is okay?”

“She’s awesome,” Dean leans back in his chair trying to relax. Hoping he’s giving off an air of nonchalance. “Loves the new place, a little nervous about school, but that’s normal.”

 “Has she been deaf all her life?”

“Yeah.”

Naomi looks to his hands for a brief second. “Does she have a mother?”

“Well, she did,” He narrows his eyes slightly. He’s never been one for show and tell when it comes to his personal life, and frankly he doesn’t see what this has to do with anything.

“Did your wife leave?”

He doesn’t even bother stopping the glare from twisting his features, not liking when people make assumptions about him. “Excuse me?”

“You said she did have a mother, that indicates she is no longer in her life.”

“Yeah,” He spits venomously. “She died.”

“I see, so she doesn’t have a mother figure in her life?”

Dean’s always had a short temper, he’s tried- boy has he tried- to keep his calm, but it’s almost as if this _lady_ is trying to get under his skin. What the hell does it matter if she has a mother figure or not? She’s doing just fine without one.

“No, she never has, so I don’t see why this matters.”

“She’s a growing girl, having someone to learn how to be a woman from is important.”

He can’t believe what he’s hearing. Who even still thinks like that? There are happy, _successful_ , families with same-sex couples who have children and those kids turn out fine. Is she serious? Is she that bigoted?

“She’s done just fine without one.” Dean stands, walking to the door. “I think that’s all you have to say; have a good day.” He calmly walks to the door and pauses before glancing back over his shoulder. “And for future reference, not that I’m sure it’ll matter much to someone like you, but I’m gay.”

He relishes in a moment of pride when surprise flashes across her features before he turns away and opens the door. What he said might not have been true, not completely, but he couldn’t help himself. She pissed him off. Who does she fucking- she has no right to insinuate that he isn’t going to raise Elizabeth right when she doesn’t even know who he is. It doesn’t matter how right she is.

He knows he’s glaring when he steps out of the room, but he doesn’t care; he just wants to get out of this fucking building. When he steps into view, he sees a man sitting next to Elizabeth. Both Elizabeth and the man both look up immediately when the door opens. For a moment, when he meets the man’s blue eyes, he forgets about Naomi’s bigoted remarks, but only for a moment; then he’s back to being pissed. The only difference is that he keeps the glare off his face. Although, he’s sure the man can still see the rage in his eyes at least somewhat.

The man appears to be in good shape, a runner if Dean’s perception is correct. The way he stares unabashedly into Dean’s eyes tells him this guy is a confident man, although maybe not in every respect.

Collecting himself, he nods at the rather attractive- okay, really fucking attractive- blue eyed man and walks to them, dropping his eyes to Elizabeth. “Ready, kiddo?”

She nods but then seems to hesitate and look back to the man who is sitting next to her. She tugs the hem of Dean’s shirt indicating she wants him to talk to him. Problem is, Dean would much rather just leave than make nice to the handsome stranger. It doesn’t matter if he’s checking off every box Dean’s got on his checklist for the perfect man. Dark hair, stubble, blue eyes are a plus although not necessary, tall but just barely shorter than him. He’ll say hi, but … only because he wants to make Elizabeth happy … that’s the only reason.

He looks up when he sees the man stand, his full height much taller than Dean expected, but he can confirm he’s a runner if his physique is anything to go by. Even though he’s wearing a long sleeved shirt, Dean can see the fabric is hiding well-muscled arms. The man’s appearance tells Dean that he would be able to hold his own in a fight, but his fighting experience is most likely lacking and would lead to his inevitable failure.

The man stretches out a hand with a kind smile. “I’m Castiel Novak. I’m a teacher here.”

_Fuck_ , Dean thinks to himself snapping out of his thoughts. That voice is everyone’s wet dream; nobody can convince him otherwise. He clears his throat and takes his outstretched hand, shaking it firmly with a small smile of his own. “Dean Winchester, Elizabeth’s guardian.”

Elizabeth tugs at his shirt again, making both men look away from the other’s eyes to her. She sees Castiel looking at her as well, so she turns to him. Dean arches a brow as Elizabeth begins signing to Castiel which makes Dean’s eyes widen. He looks between the two confused, and when Castiel smiles and looks back to Dean, it only makes him more confused.

“She just asked me if I could teach you sign language.”

“Oh,” His eyes widen comically and dart momentarily to Elizabeth’s to see her pleading eyes staring back at him before averting his gaze back to Castiel. “No, you don’t have to; I’m learning it on my own. There’s no need to bother you with that.”

 “I wouldn’t mind, really. It could be fun.”

Dean subconsciously brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck and thins his lips, glancing at Elizabeth again. Her eyes are wide and pleading. For an earth-shattering moment, he sees Sam’s puppy eyes staring back at him, the ones that could always bring him to his knees without fail. Of all the traits she could’ve gotten from her father, it just had to be that one.

“I mean, I-” He sighs internally. “If you don’t care then … then I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” He quickly looks up to meet his eyes again only to add, “But only if I can pay you.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Don’t be ridiculous, I want to do this. I don’t want any money.”

That doesn’t sit well with him and it makes him hesitate for a moment. He doesn’t particularly like being in anyone’s debt, that has never ended on _any_ level of good for him before. Now, of course, he’s only been in debt to big names and head honchos. Not small-town elementary school teachers who look like they volunteer at animal shelters. With that in mind, he’s sure being in this man’s debt won’t end up with him needing to find and eliminate someone who wronged the man.

Meeting Elizabeth’s hopeful eyes he sighs. Just because Castiel is most likely completely innocent, that doesn’t qualm his fears. “I …” He looks up again and sees Castiel patiently watching him. Dean swallows thickly, eyes darting to his lips before he can stop himself and quickly lock their stares together again. “At least let me buy you something to eat if you won’t let me pay you.”

A smile that wrinkles the skin by Castiel’s eyes slowly appears on his face, and fuck does it make Dean’s poor heart do a backflip off a cliff. “Alright,” Castiel says. “That sounds fair.”

He nods and takes a step back indicating he’s making a move to leave soon. “Right, okay, so,” he pauses realizing he doesn’t know any restaurants in town. “I saw a diner on our way here, how about meeting there this weekend?”

“The Roadhouse?” Castiel nods, “Alright, does Saturday at seven work for you?”

“Yeah, that sounds fine.” Holding out his hand for Elizabeth, she gladly takes it with a smile. “I’ll see you then.” He turns to Lisa and smiles, nodding a polite goodbye as he leaves with Elizabeth bouncing by his side.

 

 

Immediately after that whole fiasco, Dean decides to take Elizabeth to the Roadhouse and check the place out. Upon entry, they’re greeted by a cheery blonde behind the counter.

“Welcome- Oh! You’re the new guy everyone’s been talking about.”

His eyes widen, not realizing he’s already become town gossip. Everyone in the diner turns their heads in their direction when the blonde says that. It makes him really uncomfortable to be under so many scrutinizing gazes at once, but before he has the chance to say anything, an older woman comes out to chastise her.

“Jo, that’s not how you greet someone.” The older woman looks at them and smiles warmly. “Have a seat wherever you’d like, sweetheart. I’ll be right there.”

With a small smile, he takes a seat in the booth across from Elizabeth, both of them scanning over the menus that are already on the table. A minute later the older woman comes over with a smile and a little notepad.

“What can I get you two to drink?”

“I’ll just have a coffee,” Dean smiles at her then looks at Elizabeth and signs _(Drink?)_.

To which she says, _(OJ, please.)_

He turns back to the women, Ellen according to her name tag, “She’ll have orange juice.”

“Alright, I’ll give you two a minute to figure out what you want to eat. I’ll be back with your drinks in a second.” and with that, she leaves before Dean can say more.

He quickly finds the burgers and decides to fall back on his typical choice. Bacon cheeseburger. Although, everything on the menu looks rather good; he’ll have to deviate from his norm every once in a while to try everything. Elizabeth points to the grilled cheese when Dean asks what she wants, and when Ellen comes back with their drinks he thanks her and tells her their order.

“Alright, one bacon cheeseburger and one grilled cheese with a side of smiley fries.” She smiles up at them. “I’m Ellen, by the way, this is my diner.”

“I’m Dean, that monkey is Elizabeth.” He jokes light-heartedly and grins knowing she’s reading his lips. Elizabeth slaps the table and grunts her displeasure, which makes Dean laugh. “She may be deaf, but you can’t get anything past her.”

Ellen smiles warmly at the pair’s playfulness. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you both officially; it’s refreshing seeing new faces every now and then. I hope you’ll find yourselves enjoying the place.”

“I’m sure we will, thanks.”

“It may be small, but what we lack in activities, we make up for in spirit and good grace. We look out for our people, so just shout if you need anything.”

That makes Dean hesitate, but he smiles small at her with a quiet ‘Thank you’ and Ellen is on her way. Is he _already_ considered part of ‘ _our people_ ’? No. No, he can’t be. That had to be Ellen just being friendly. They don’t even know him. He could be a serial killer for all they know. Why help someone like him? It has to be the child effect. He has a kid with him, so he looks likable, even with his outward appearance.

He talks with Elizabeth until their food comes back out, and when Ellen is placing their food in front of them Dean is half tempted to let the thought slide. Although, it’s been nagging at the back of his mind since they sat down and he doesn’t think it would go away all that easy.

“Hey, uh, Ellen,”

She looks up. “Hmm?”

“Is it-” He cuts himself off and nervously rubs at the back of his neck. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not a big deal, right? It shouldn’t matter, but it does. For whatever reason, it matters to him. “Is it true that people are already talking about us? We just got into town yesterday, I didn’t think we did anything too noticeable.”

“Don’t you worry about that. Jo shouldn’t have said anything about it.” Ellen’s posture relaxes into a casual stance. “Some folks just saw the moving van, and I spoke with Bobby, told me he got a new worker from the Big Apple. ‘M sure others heard about it somehow too. In a small town like this, you could sneeze and people would catch wind of it somehow.”

It’s at this moment that the blonde, Jo if he remembers correctly, comes over with an apologetic smile. “Hey, sorry about putting you in the spotlight like that. You just caught me off guard; not many new faces come through that door.”

Ellen meets her eye and claps a firm but gentle hand on her shoulder before turning to leave. “Don’t pester them too long, Jo. I’m sure they’d like to relax.”

“I won’t.” Jo smiles and looks back to Dean when Ellen leaves to get back to work. “News about you spread fast, even for this town. You’re somewhat of an anomaly around here.” Jo shrugs light-heartedly. “Everyone was buzzing about the new mystery man from the big city with an adorable little girl.”

“Well, I can assure you I’m no more interesting than anyone else here.”

Jo simply looks him over and hums, arching a brow as if to say ‘yeah right’, but otherwise says nothing else on the matter. “I’m Jo, by the way, Ellen’s my mom.”

“Dean and Elizabeth, at your service.” He does the best bow he can while sitting in a cramped booth, but it gets the job done and it makes Jo grin wide with a soft chuckle.

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that seeing as I’m your waitress?” She teases.

“Technically your mom is my waitress.” Dean fires back.

“You got me there,” She laughs. “Hey, just so you know, we aren’t only a diner. If you’re ever looking for a bar we switch over at night to a bar and grill. Although you won’t be graced with my presence at night, that’s mainly Ash, if you’re lucky I’ll be there to lighten up the place.”

He raises his brows. “I’ll have to swing by sometime and check it out, thanks for telling me.”

“Of course,” she taps the table and with a borderline flirtatious grin, waves at Elizabeth, and is on her way. Not before shooting “Looking forward to it,” over her shoulder on her way.

The rest of their experience at the diner is good. Another woman, Tasha, comes in to relieve Jo of her waitressing duties and she went out of her way to make sure everything was perfect for them. She would refill his coffee frequently and ask if she could get them anything else. Dean ends up getting them both a piece of pie because no meal is complete without pie.

He isn’t stupid, he knows she’s flirting with him, but he isn’t the least bit interested. Not that she seems like an awful person; overbearing maybe, but that’s a different story. He just isn’t in a right place for a relationship of any kind right now. He may appear fine and dandy on the outside, which is a miracle seeing how much sleep he doesn’t get, but he’s so messed up about Sam. Nothing seems worth it anymore, besides Elizabeth that is. If it weren’t for Elizabeth, Dean would be an absolute shell of a man. He doesn’t even want to think of where he would be right now if she wasn’t in his life.

When they’re done at the diner, they go to the local grocery store and buy some more food. Then they go to a few other stores to buy some essentials such as cleaning supplies and silverware that isn’t made of plastic. The one constant in all of those places is the staring and whispering. He should be used to it by now, but he never realized how much people in New York didn’t give a shit about who you were as long as you stayed out of their way. He almost misses it.

By the time they get home, he’s exhausted and so relieved to not have any more eyes boring holes in his back. They unpack the grocery bags and settle into the couch, clicking the TV on. It doesn’t take long for Elizabeth to start picking at her nails, something she only does when she’s nervous.

He sits her up and turns to her, making sure she’s looking at him. _(What’s wrong?)_

She twists her hands and huffs out a defeated sigh grabbing her notebook, writing in it, then giving it to Dean.

_E: Tomorrow is my first day. What if the other kids don’t like me?_

He frowns, his eyes running over the words a few more times before writing his own and sliding it back.

_D: What isn’t there to like?_

Her cheeks grow rosy and Dean smiles triumphantly at her bashfulness. The thing he doesn’t know, the thing Elizabeth isn’t going to tell him, not wanting to cause him any more stress than he already has, is that she’s afraid they’re going to pick on her for being deaf too. She wants to confide in Dean, to let him say it’ll be okay, but it will worry him, and she doesn’t want that. Whatever that woman, Miss Haven, said to him when they were in the school really made him upset, she could tell.

Also, it’s not only what happened today, but days passed too. Last night, when she was supposed to be asleep, she saw Dean drinking an amber-colored liquid that makes him act funny. He looked so sad. She’s worried about him, so she will be strong for him. Determined with herself, she puffs out her chest and looks fierce.

His face lights up with a laugh, and he pulls her into a hug, tucking her into his side. She wishes she was able to hear his laughter in addition to feeling it rumble through his body. She wonders what her dad would do to help Dean be able to keep laughing like this forever.

That night, she sleeps in Dean’s bed, unwilling to let go of him for fear that he too will leave her. Maybe he won’t leave intentionally, like her dad, but she doesn’t want to lose him. So she holds him tight until sleep overtakes her body and her mind is wrapped in a black fog.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up this morning isn’t going as Dean planned. He remembers Elizabeth clinging to him like an octopus. He remembers her climbing onto his chest and falling asleep on him. He remembers her light steady puffs of breath the tickled his neck on every exhale. Although, the one thing he doesn’t remember is there being another, _bigger_ , body falling asleep right next to him.

It all happens in five seconds.

Every instinct he has kicks into high gear, giving him a fight or flight feeling twisting in his gut. He wraps his arm around Elizabeth and rolls expertly from his bed to the floor. He's careful to shield Elizabeth from the person that somehow got into his bed without him noticing last night. Elizabeth makes a startled squeak as she’s yanked from a blissful slumber. Little fists ball up the back of Dean’s shirt, clinging for dear life. Dean doesn’t stop for a moment. Ripping open his bedside table, he pulls out his pistol. Twisting himself and pointing it at the intruder. The whole time making sure to keep his back to them since Elizabeth is on his front. His heart is hammering hard in his chest, trying to keep his breathing steady.

That’s when he realizes something. The lump on his bed is covered completely in long dark red- almost burgundy in this lighting- and white fur. It’s curled into a ball with its head raised and tongue lolling out of its mouth in a pant. Big golden brown eyes stare into his own narrowed green ones blink back at him. All the while, a fluffy tail lazily thumps on the bed.

The markings on his face look like a mask. The red wraps around his eyes and trail a little down the sides of his cheeks. A strip runs down the top of his muzzle that nearly reaches his nose. Lower, around his neck, the red looks like a thick necklace that is draped over his chest. A creamy white patch just below that and the red runs a little ways down his front legs from what he can see.

Dean scrunches his face in confusion, hesitantly lowering his weapon. Then proceeding to glare around his room for any other signs of life, but there are none. After a moment of making sure it’s just the dog that’s the intruder, he looks back to the large beast of a dog on his bed. He’s almost smiling at him like he knows he just scared the ever-loving shit out of him. He glares at him, not liking the smug look he’s giving him.

Although, he’s a dog so he more than likely isn’t giving him any such look. It’s just Dean projecting his irritation on the thing.

Upon closer inspection, Dean concludes that that is no dog; it’s a fucking bear. He easily takes up half of Dean’s bed even curled up in a tight ball. His paw looks like it’s a little shy of the size of Dean’s hand; his paw would easily cover his palm and some of his fingers. His head is nearly twice as large as Dean’s. Needless to say, he’s fucking massive.

How the hell did he even get in here in the first place?

Realizing he still has his gun out, he slowly slides it back into his nightstand. Before Elizabeth has a chance to see it. He would rather not let her know he’s such a paranoid bastard that he needs a gun on standby to fall asleep. When it’s safely put away and out of sight, he puts his hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder and slowly stands up.

Elizabeth looks up at him with confusion. There is no tiredness from sleep left in her, which is understandable seeing he practically threw her from the bed.

The moment Elizabeth steps out from behind Dean, her little hands held to her chest in hesitancy, and sees the mammoth on his bed, she squeals loudly. It doesn't take more than half a nanosecond for her to try running to the dog and try petting him.

Although, before she can get very far, he scoops her up by the armpits and heaves her into the air while saying, “Whoa! Yeah, I don't think so.” and twisting himself to place her further away from the intruder.

He crouches in front of her seeing a formidable pout twisting her face and her arms crossed over her chest. Sighing, he puts his hands on her shoulders casting a skeptical glance at him. He's still watching them like there's nothing abnormal about this situation at all. All he's doing is panting up a storm. He narrows his eyes momentarily before looking back to Elizabeth. With a disgruntled sigh he says, “Look, Elizabeth, we don't know where he's been." Or how the hell he got inside and on his bed without so much as stirring either of them. Dean's instincts are usually so good they're scary. ( _He could be_ _sick,_ ) he signs, hoping it got his message across, and adding, "or he may be carrying something for all we know.” He adds in hopes it'll dissuade her from touching him.

Elizabeth drops her pout immediately. Instead, a look of worry replaces her petulance. ( _Sick?_ )

He frowns and gives the dog another look over, feeling kind of bad for worrying her and making her think he’s sick. He does look pretty healthy; well fed too, so he must be someone’s dog.

He puts a hand to his chest then signs, ( _I’ll look him over._ ) "Okay?”

Elizabeth nods adamantly.

Huffing a large breath of air from his nose, he stands up and steps around the bed to the side the ball of fur resides. The dog watches his every move, although he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. In fact, he starts to wag his tail again. Dean stretches out his hands to let him sniff him and show he means no harm.

“Alright, buddy, I’m gonna give you a once over to make sure everything’s in tip-top shape, so … just bear with me for a hot minute.”

When Dean lays his hands on him, they practically disappear into all the fluff there’s so much of it. Kujo flops onto his side and rolls onto his back, exposing his belly for some rubbings and Dean has never been one to disappoint. So he does just that. He feels for a collar but there isn’t one on him meaning he can’t contact his owner. Other than that, he’s in perfect condition. At least he is on the outside.

Pulling back, he crosses his arms and stares at him. The dog stops panting on his back and stares back, still upside down.

That’s when there’s an almost frantic knocking on the door.

He motions for Elizabeth to leave the room first, not wanting to leave her alone with him, and he follows after her. There's a creak of someone shifting on a bed, followed by a thump of something landing on the ground. Soon after there is an accompanying clack of claws on the hardwood floor, indicating the dog is following them. He makes his way past Elizabeth and opens the door.

Standing in front of him is a heavily pregnant woman with brown curly hair. “Hi- oh!” Her eyes widen upon seeing Dean. More than likely, she recognizes him as the new guy in town. But instead of skepticism and hesitancy- something he definitely would have gotten in New York- she smiles wide and warmly. “Hi, you must be Dean.”

“That’s me.” He tries a smile but it’s weak.

“I’m terribly sorry to bother you at such an hour, but have you seen a large red Alaskan Malamute around? He tends to come around these parts when he escapes.”

Slowly, Dean looks back into his house. Elizabeth’s arms are wrapped around the dog's neck, hugging him with a large smile on her face. With a sigh and a quick rub of his face, he looks back to the woman. “He yours?”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry. I had hoped I got here before he did.” She gives him the most genuine apologetic face he’s ever seen. “He’s not mine, I just watch him. I run a kennel a little ways out of town, and when he escapes he always runs here no matter what I do.”

“Would you like to come in?” He steps aside and she offers a thankful smile as she steps in. Closing the door behind her, Dean asks, “So, why does he come here?”

She frowns and puts a hand on her enlarged stomach. “His old owner lived here and he died a year ago of old age.” She tilts her head, watching Elizabeth and the dog interact. “We think he keeps coming back to look for him. It’s so sad.”

“Who was his owner?”

“His name was Rufus Turner. He was an old military man, he trained Mufasa to do all kinds of things a normal dog couldn’t do.”

“Wait,” He hesitates and looks over at her with his brows pinched together. “ _Mufasa_?”

She smiles wide and lets out an amused giggle. “Yes, his name is Mufasa, but he also called him King. He’ll come to either.” She looks back over at Dean and holds out a hand. “I’m Gilda, pleasure to meet you, though I wish it were on better terms.”

He smiles and shakes her hand, still exhausted from not getting nearly as much sleep as he usually does. To be fair, though, he typically only half an hour to an hour a night. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not a problem. Do you need any help getting him back?”

“No, I have it under control, but thank you.” He opens the door for her as she says, “Mufasa, come boy.” Mufasa perks up and huffs his displeasure before standing up. If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d say the dog was dragging his feet. Gilda turns back to Dean with, what he can only assume is, a permanent smile on her face and hands him a little card. “Here’s the kennel’s number if this ever happens again. Welcome to the town.” She then walks down the porch steps and gets into her truck with Mufasa.

He waves her off and closes the door, turning back to find Elizabeth staring at him. He puts his hands on his hips and looks at the clock on the wall. It’s 5:23. “Well,” he starts and looks down at Elizabeth. ( _Breakfast or bed?_ )

She holds up her pointer finger to indicate she wants the first option.

He grins and nods. “That’s what I was thinking.”

The morning flies by a lot faster than he thought it would. Maybe it’s his caffeine-addled brain, or perhaps he was just too busy cooking breakfast and laughing with Elizabeth to notice how much time went by.

It’s now 7:45 and Elizabeth’s bus will be here in five minutes. That’s when he’s going to leave too seeing he has to be at work at eight. He takes Elizabeth to the end of the driveway and waits with her. When the bus comes rolling to a stop in front of their long driveway, Dean isn’t surprised to see it’s a short bus. With a tight hug and a warm ‘Have a great first day, kiddo.’ She’s climbing up the steps and claiming her seat.

He sees some of the kids on the bus staring at him with bug eyes, which isn’t a surprise. He’s in a t-shirt. That means his arms and neck are completely bare; free to the public eye. Also meaning so are his abundance of tattoos visible.  He’s never cared about the staring, especially when it’s a kid. And that’s a good thing because he sure gets a lot of stares for his life choices.

A lot of his tattoos have a meaning to him. They tell his story and they're a reminder of who- _what_ he is and what he's done, important people in his life, and other life-changing events.

The angel wings on his inner right bicep are for his mother, for when she used to tell him angels were watching over him and Sam. It was a comforting thought back when he was younger.

He has an octopus tattoo that is on his shoulder. Its tentacles are crawling up his neck and some over his collarbone. It’s meant to symbolize flexibility and deception. To show he’s good at fooling others and blending into a crowd when he needs to. Although the octopus is missing a limb to represent his ability to be able to detach from a person or an addiction. When he first got that tattoo, Cain said the missing limb was for detaching from the world around him. Now it has a different meaning for him; it's for him overcoming his addiction.

The symbol everyone gets when they join Cain is on his upper left bicep.

A horned blue, red, and black Chinese dragon he has covering his back. He got that one when he earned his rank as Cain’s right-hand man. It’s meant to symbolize power, strength, and fear. The colors meaning loyalty, danger, determination, death, and elegance.

The Colt on his hip with the engraving _‘non tiembo mala’_ on it, the gun sitting in a middle of a bouquet of flowers. A single yellow rose at the center to symbolize freedom or a promise of a new beginning. Purple hyacinth for regret of what he let his life become. Irises for hope. Aster for devotion to his family and those he loves. He had debated this tattoo idea for so long since it was a bunch of flowers. Sam eventually convinced him to get it though and he’s glad he did. It was like a restart; a way to show he’s no longer part of Cain’s control.

A scythe with the word ‘Reaper’ engraved on its handle for when he earned his nickname of Reaper.

There is a tattoo of an owl looking over some law books on his side. He got that one when Sam got into law school. Every time Sam would correct Dean on something, even the smallest spelling error, Dean would, without fail, call him a wise old owl. (“Yes, wise old owl, my mistake.” “Forgive my blunder, wise old owl.” “Oh, woe is me! What would I do without you wise old owl?”).

Needless to say, Dean’s teasing always brought out Sam’s famous bitch face. And if he were especially exasperated, it was even accompanied with an eye roll. So he got the tattoo as a surprise for his little brother for getting into his dream school. He showed him at his party, Sam busted out in hysterical, gut-wrenching laughter; the kind you hold your stomach and double over with tears in your eyes. Dean smiles almost every time he sees the tattoo.

There are many more, most have bad memories linked to them, but not all of them do. Like the one for his first kill. Each tattoo that indicated his rise in rank burns a hole in his gut because of everything he did to get there. Even though they hurt to look at every day, Dean knows he deserves the pain. He has done horrible things and he deserves to be reminded of them every single day. All the lives he took or destroyed. The families he devastated. He can never make up for it all, but that hasn’t stopped him from trying.

After Elizabeth’s bus rolls away, he gets in his car and drives to Bobby’s Auto and Scrap. When he gets there, parked, and inside, there’s a gruff looking older man walking towards him. He has on a worn old ball cap and a scratchy looking bread underneath it. His jeans are scruffy, torn, and covered in motor oil. His dark blue shirt with the shop’s logo on it isn’t in any better condition on the motor oil front.

“You Dean?” The man he assumes is Bobby says in greeting.

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir, makes me feel old. Jus' call me Bobby.” He nods towards the back and starts walking. “Follow me.” They get into a back room and Bobby throws a shirt and pants at him, the same color as Bobby’s shirt. “You don’t have to wear the pants if you prefer jeans, but I’m not held responsible when they get covered in oil. Gotta wear the shirt though. Get changed and come out front, I’ll get ya something to do.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Bobby hums in acknowledgment and then he’s gone. As far as first impressions go, he’d say Bobby isn’t much for thanks or compliments. He seems like a rough man, but not in a bad way. Dean smiles and slips his shirt off. He likes him.

It only takes Dean about a minute to change his shirt and leave the back room to go meet Bobby out front again. Bobby’s standing there with another man with a beard. Does everyone have a beard that works here? Was that in the job requirements and he wasn’t aware? Maybe he should grow his out.

When he gets closer the new bearded man meets his eyes and gives a friendly smile. His eyes are blue, he duly notes to himself. The man looks well built, not skinny, but by no means is he fat either. He definitely looks like he could handle himself in a fight if it came down to it.

He can’t help but size him up and pick out every tiny detail about everyone he meets, it’s second nature by now. Most of the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, but he has learned to do it out of necessity. That’s how he got to be known as Reaper. After no more than five minutes with someone, he’s able to find a weakness and disarm or eliminate them.

The man offers out a hand with a kind smile. “Good to have someone else for Bobby to yell at ‘sides me.” He has a southern accent, he must not be from around here either. A smile forces its way onto Dean’s face and he shakes his hand.

“I only yell at ya when you deserve to be yelled at, boy. Now show Dean here the ropes and get back to work, you know where I’ll be.” And with that, Bobby heads out the back towards the scrap yard.

“Name’s Benny.” Benny’s voice draws him back and he looks over at him. “Don’t let his personality get in the way, he’s secretly a nice guy. Cranky, but nice.” Benny claps a large hand on Dean’s shoulder and leads him away. “Whad'ya say we get you started then?”

He grins wide. “I’m itchin’ to get back under a hood, let’s do it.”

The rest of his workday goes well. Great, in fact. He and Benny hit it off immediately and he can tell he is going to be one of his good friends here. Turns out Dean was right in the fact that he isn’t from around here. Granted it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Benny was raised down in Louisiana for most of his life, but back about ten years ago he moved up here. He hadn’t planned on moving here, but his car had broken down and Bobby fixed it up for him. Bobby had struck up a conversation and asked where Benny was heading. When Benny answered with ‘I’ll know when I get there.’ Bobby asked if he was good with cars. Benny said yes. Bobby told him ‘I think you found where you were heading.’ and offered him the job, he’s been working for him ever since.

Dean didn’t ask why he left Louisiana. It’s none of his business, but the way Benny spoke about it; it was almost like he didn’t want to leave.

The time is around five o’clock when he gets off work. He has to drive up to the school so he can pick up Elizabeth from the daycare there. He puts Baby into park and makes his way into the school. It’s as empty as it was the first time he came in here. Glancing at his surroundings, he debates if he should wander downstairs to the daycare without checking in first. That probably wouldn't go over well. He should probably get a visitors pass.

Not wanting to piss of Naomi, he goes for option two.

He walks into the office and sees Lisa still sitting at the desk. When she notices someone walk in, she looks up and smiles at him.

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m just here to pick up Elizabeth. I wasn’t sure if I needed a visitor’s pass or whatnot, didn’t want to risk pissing off the boss.”

Lisa’s smile turns sympathetic. “No, you don’t need a pass, we know who you are.” She pauses for a second before adding, “I’m sorry about her. The other day when you were here she said something nasty to you, didn’t she.” She doesn’t say it as a question, knowing that what Naomi would have said to piss someone off must not have been nice. “She can be very open about her opinion. I’m not saying it’s right, but she doesn’t really know when to not say something, so for what it’s worth, I’m sorry she upset you.”

Dean feels compelled to tell her it’s alright or that it doesn’t matter. But honestly he’s still pretty pissed at Naomi, so instead, he opts for a different option. “You don’t need to apologize for her. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Still,” She gives him a tentative smile. “That’s no way to welcome someone to town.” She stands up holding out a freshly manicured hand, her smile widening. “We were never formally introduced. I’m Lisa.”

He wipes his hands on his jeans to make sure there’s no oil on them and then takes her hand in his. “Dean.” He smiles back.

“Well, Dean,” She grabs her purse and slings it over her shoulder meeting his eyes. “Would you mind if I accompanied you to the daycare? I need to pick up my son.”

He turns to the side and motions to the door, holding it open for her. “Be my guest.”

She slides past him out the office door with a polite ‘Thank you’ and then they make their way down to the daycare making idle conversation. When they reach the door to the daycare, he holds it for her again. It earns him an earnest smile and another thank you, in which he nods in response with a smile of his own.

There are toys scattered all around the room, on shelves, desks, the very colorful floor, in the corners, and under every surface. The walls littered with children’s drawings and colorful posters. In one corner there’s a fish tank with a bunch of tiny fish swimming around in circles. There is a round table in the other corner by some cabinets that line the far wall. A teacher’s desk with a computer sitting on top is closest to the door. On the other side of the door are cubbies and hooks for the kids to put their things when they get here. Hanging on one of the hooks he sees Elizabeth’s lightweight hoodie.

His eyes wander around the colorful space seeing a bunch of kids playing joyfully and having a good time. Then his eyes fall on the kid he’s searching out and a smile breaks out on his face.

Upon entering, Elizabeth’s eyes immediately seek him out and she gasps happily. She runs over to him only to crash into his legs to hug him. Dean laughs and hugs her back the best he can. He ruffles her hair and crouches in front of her with a large smile making its way onto his face.

“Hey, kiddo," ( _How was your day?_ )

She bounces, practically beaming with energy. All he gets as a response is a double thumbs up, which only makes Dean laugh more. He stands up and looks over seeing Jo walking towards them with a smile.

“Jo, you work here too?”

She stops a couple feet away. “Sure do, I’m trying to save up for my first car. Need all the money I can get.”

That catches Dean’s interest and he arches a brow. Holding up a finger to indicate to give him a moment, he looks down at Elizabeth. “Get your things, monkey, we’ll head out soon.”

Elizabeth brings her arms up and scratches at her armpits and hops from one foot to another to imitate a monkey. She only leaves when she succeeds in making Dean belt out a laugh.

“So, any car you’ve got your eye on?” He asks looking back up.

“Yeah, it’s nothing special, but it’ll get the job done. It’s a little silver Honda Civic.” She shrugs.

“She’ll get the job done, and if she needs any work you know where the shop is.” He smirks and Jo laughs.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lisa walking back over and Dean kind of feels bad that he hadn’t noticed she walked away. He smiles at her and sees a young boy, looking to be around Elizabeth’s age, by her side.

“Dean, this is my son, Ben. Ben, this is Dean, Elizabeth’s guardian.”

Dean sends a pleasant smile towards Ben and nods. “Hey, Ben, nice to meet you.” He holds out a hand and Ben stares at the tattoos on his arm before shaking his hand.

“You have a lot of tattoos.” Ben says as if it was an afterthought to himself.

“Ben!” Lisa hisses, but Dean simply laughs. Lisa looks up sharply, apologetic. “I’m so sorry. He knows better than that.”

Dean waves it off, his amusement not leaving his features. “No, it’s all good. I’m actually surprised that’s the first comment I heard about them.” He looks over and meets her worried eyes. She is clearly still concerned Ben said something that he shouldn’t have, so Dean gives her his most genuine look. “Really, it’s okay. If I wasn’t ready for all the stares and comments I wouldn’t have gotten them.”

“Did they hurt?” Ben’s curious voice Dean’s eyes back to him, Ben’s eyes are latched on his tattoos.

“A little, but it wasn’t too bad.” Dean smiles at how unabashedly he’s gawking at them. He feels a small hand fit into his palm and squeeze, which only makes his smile wider. Looking down at his side he sees Elizabeth holding his hand staring at him. He gently squeezes her hand back and looks up.

Lisa worries her bottom lip for a second before smiling. She accepts that Dean truly doesn’t mind Ben asking such questions. “Well, it was nice seeing you both again, you too Jo, but we should get going. Have a great rest of your day, guys.”

They say their goodbyes and then it’s just Dean, Elizabeth, and Jo. Oh, and, of course, five other kids that are paying them no attention. One of the said kids looks to be pretending to be Godzilla.

“You know, I didn’t want to say anything,” Jo starts. “but you really do have some nice tattoos. Mind me asking who did them?”

“I had two artists do them, Luke and Michael.”

Jo gasps and quickly covers her mouth, her eyes wide. Dean arches a brow looking at her confused. She removes her hands a few inches from her face. Her voice is quiet when she asks, “You don’t mean the brothers Luke and Michael. _The_ Luke and Michael, do you?”

Dean furrows his brows in further confusion. “Yeah, that’s them.” Jo is covering her mouth again, her wide eyes glued to Dean’s tattoos. She looks as if she’s about to burst at the seams.

She takes her hands away again only to whisper a breathy, “Oh my god." She snaps her eyes back to Dean so fast it actually makes him flinch back. “They’re legends, I’m such a huge fan of their work.”

And just like that, it makes much more sense as to why it appears she’s having a mini panic attack. She’s fangirling. A small smirk crosses his lips. “So you like tattoos?”

“Like ‘em?” She laughs shaking her head. “Try love ‘em. I want to open my own shop one day.”

His eyes widen. “No kidding.” He hadn’t been expecting that.

“Sure thing.” She beams proudly. Jo glances down at Elizabeth and starts laughing. Elizabeth is practically about to combust as she waits patiently for Dean to finish talking. She must really want to tell him about her day. She looks up grinning from ear to ear. “Well, I’ll let you two get outta here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Dean waves as he exits the room.

As they leave, Elizabeth stuffs her notebook in his hand excitedly. Looking down he brings it up and reads over her words.

_E: I need to bring in strawberry cupcakes for class tomorrow_

“It’s your first day and you already have to bring food?” Dean grins down at her knowing how badly she wants to bake them herself. “So store bought cupcakes it is. I know how much you just hate baking, so I’ll save you the trouble.” She bounces as they leave the building, pulling at his arm every time she jumps up. A laugh bubbles up out of him as they get safely into the Impala. “Alright, alright, I _guess_ we can bake them.”

The beam she gives Dean from the back seat could give a lighthouse a run for its money. Not to mention it warms him to the bone all the way to the grocery store knowing he’s the one that caused it.

In the store, Elizabeth wrote a note about how much she likes Mr. Novak as her teacher and that he’s super nice. If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d say Elizabeth was trying to set him up with Castiel, but he does know better. Besides, that’s more something Sam would have done, and frankly, she’s not old enough to take that over just yet. Although, Dean has to admit something. The fact that Castiel gets along so well with Elizabeth, making her practically fall in love with him on day one, is a huge plus for him.

If he were to date anyone, and that’s a big if right now, that person would not only have to like Dean but Elizabeth just as much.

Elizabeth tugs enthusiastically on his sleeve. He laughs, looking down to see her nodding furiously down the aisle- which, again, only makes Dean laugh harder. She was taught not to point at people at a very young age. It was something Sam thought important. So, instead, she took on nodding her head towards things like an old rock band guitarist. It’s adorable and it makes his heart swell with adoration.

Finally, he looks down the aisle to see what Elizabeth is fussing over. He stops momentarily when he meets the blue eyes of the most recent topic of choice. There’s a little boy by his side who, even at his young age, he can tell is going to look just like his father in his features. A smile slaps itself onto both of their faces and they make their way towards each other.

“Hello, Dean.”

An involuntary shiver runs down his spine at the rumble of the man’s voice. He swears he will never get over it.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean glances at the sandy blonde kid who is smiling up at him. “And who’s this?”

Cas drops his smile to the little boy then back to Dean, “This is my son, Jack. Jack, this is Elizabeth’s guardian, Dean.”

Jack stretches out his hand for him to take while joyfully says, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

Dean gives his hand a gentle shake. “You too, and please, call me Dean.”

“Okay, Dean.”

His smile cracks wider at that and he watches as Jack turns his attention to Elizabeth. The two of them starting to sign to one another. He shouldn’t be surprised that Castiel's son knows some sign language. And it shouldn’t make Dean feel like such a failure, but it does. The fact that a kid so young is so much more fluent at that than him makes him feel like he’s failing Sam and Elizabeth again.

Pulling himself out of his soon to be self-deprecating thoughts, he brings his attention back to the wild-haired teacher. He forces a smile, which he hopes looks believable enough. The flicker in Castiel’s eyes says otherwise, but Dean is quick to speak before he can plan on saying anything.

“I don’t know what you did, but if you make Elizabeth like you any more than she already does, she may just try adopting you.”

That earns a genuine laugh from the man, successfully diverting his attention. “Yes, well, perhaps she only likes me as of now because I announced we were having a party in class tomorrow. And the fact that they were to bring strawberry treats most likely helped.”

“That’s right,” His tone takes on a teasing undertone which draws Castiel’s attention. “You’re the one I have to thank for having to make cupcakes, huh?” Dean smirks almost lasciviously, which causes Castiel’s eyes to widen. “If you wanted to taste my cooking all you had to do was ask.”

He hadn’t meant for it to come out in such a flirty tone, he was aiming for joking and lighthearted. He supposes he’s been such a big flirt for so long that perhaps flirting is simply how he talks to people anymore.

Ain’t that a bitch.

Castiel looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Stuttering over his words, he desperately tries to get something out. It tells Dean that flirting exactly what he came across as doing. Which, he will swear left and right, that was _not_ his intention. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t admit seeing the man flustered is kind of cute.

A light laugh bubbles from Dean to lighten the mood. “I’m only teasing; Elizabeth is going to be doing most of it, she’s a baking fanatic.”

This seems to make Castiel relax a little bit. “Is that so?” He gives him a small smile, most likely trying to dispel the nerves Dean put there. “Well, in that case, I look forward to getting to taste one.”

“I’m sure she’s just as eager to have you try one.”

Both of them go to say something, but they simultaneously stop when their eyes catch onto each other. They pause like that for a few moments. At least, until Dean clears his throat and tears his eyes away and rubbing at the back of his neck out of nervous habit.

“Well, I guess we should get going.” Dean hesitantly catches Castiel’s, seemingly all-seeing, stare before ripping his eyes away again. “Lots to do tonight.” The lie rolls easily off his tongue as his hand lands on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “See you around.”

“Take care, Dean.” Comes Castiel’s reply as Dean maneuvers them past the pair.

He doesn’t know what it is exactly the man can see written in his eyes. But the thought of him seeing anything makes him more than uncomfortable with the ogling. He doesn’t want anyone reading anything about him or his problems, especially in his eyes of all places.

Typically, he would like to think at least, he is rather good at stowing his emotions from everyone. The only person who had been able to see past any, and most of, Dean’s shit was Sam. That was only because they spent so much damn time together. Therefore, there is no logical reason as to why Castiel could see every little detail of his life with a simple stare. But that’s exactly what it feels like. Like he's peering into the deepest parts of Dean’s soul and it makes him feel vulnerable.

Fuck, he’s all over the place. One moment, he's flirting with the man. The next, he’s high tailing it out of the bread aisle with his fucking tail between his legs.

When did he become so weak?

If Cain saw him now he would laugh in his face. Followed by beating him like a dog as punishment for letting himself get this pitiful and weak.

He wastes no more time in the store than necessary. Getting what they need, paying, then getting home to their little-isolated home away from everyone. They make it inside and he’s able to keep himself together the whole time they’re making the cupcakes. Even while they have a flour war. Elizabeth none the wiser to his internal meltdown that’s on the precipice of overflowing.

There is an easy way that he knows how to stop these thoughts, but it isn’t something he likes to do with Elizabeth around. He’s learned a way to sever himself nearly instantly from all his emotions when need be. But it affects _all_ emotions. Elizabeth would know something is wrong, and he won’t worry her like that.

Elizabeth can see that look in his eyes. It isn’t a look that occurs all that often, though. In fact, she’s only seen it once before, a week after her father died. She knows there is something going on in his head right now, and they aren’t nice thoughts. Although she has no idea what could have triggered these thoughts. Today has been so good, and she swore he thought so too. At the store today he appeared genuinely happy to see Mr. Novak. Then again, that’s when he seemed to shift to this mode. What had they been talking about?

Elizabeth berates herself. She should have been paying attention to them so she would know what they were talking about. If she was then maybe she would be able to help.

Her eyes fall to the finished cupcakes in the container. Mr. Novak’s cupcake in its own little container sitting on top the other larger one. Next to it is the white bowl of pink frosting, and she does the only thing she knows to try and help. She presses her flat palm into the frosting when Dean’s back is turned so he won't see it coming. Then, she makes a little noise in her throat to get his attention. He turns around and starts to say ‘Yeah, kiddo?’, but stops mid-sentence when her frosting covered palm softly claps his cheek.

His eyes widen almost comically. His entire body freezing, his mouth hanging open where his sentence was cut off. There’s a pregnant pause between the pair before Dean’s face cracks into a large amused grin. He tries to fight it off, pursing his lips to the side and running his tongue over his back teeth, but it’s no use. Soon enough he’s laughing and giving her a pointed look, wagging a finger at her.

‘Oh, you’re gonna get it.’ She reads on his lips. He dips his finger in the frosting and deftly swipes it across her nose. ‘Rudolph.’

Thus the frosting war begins, and seeing the smile on his face makes it worth all the mess.

The next morning, they go through their routine. Before they know it, Dean is helping her up the steps of her bus to make sure there are no cupcake casualties. When safely seated, she waves to him as the bus rolls away. The moment the bus is out of view, he is getting in his car and driving to work.

Getting into work and clocking in, he gets a gruff good morning from Bobby. A slightly more cheery greeting from Benny. He greets them both their own good mornings before getting to work. It takes all of five minutes before Benny is standing beside him.

“Brother,” he starts to get Dean’s attention. He stands up from under the hood and looks in his direction. “Is that flour in your hair?” Benny pauses and arches a brow. “And pink frosting?”

His eyes widen and he consciously reaches up, rubbing at his hair. His hand comes away with some flakes of dried pink frosting and his face twists up with a groan. He sighs and roughly rubs his hair to dispel any leftover unwanted pieces.

Last night after getting Elizabeth to bed and cleaning up, he spent a good two hours studying sign language and having a little to drink. By the time two o’clock rolled around, he had been too tired to shower so he simply fell into bed. Looking back, he should have jumped in for a quick shower.

“It was a long night.” Dean sighs.

“I can see that.” Benny laughs.

“Elizabeth had to make cupcakes for class today. And, well, she may have initiated a war when she clapped my cheek with a palm full of frosting.” Benny gives a hearty laugh at that and he even sees Bobby smirking out of the corner of his eye. With a smile, he turns back to the engine and continues his work, Benny sliding under the same vehicle.

“So she seems to be settling good?” He asks from under the car.

“Yeah, I think so.” Dean thins his lips, biting them between his teeth to keep them in place. “I feel kind of bad though. The first weekend we’re here I have to leave her for Saturday night while I go out. Although, she seemed pretty stoked about it all so maybe she won’t mind being with a sitter.”

“Hot date already?”

“Not a date,” he laughs sardonically. “Elizabeth’s teacher, Mr. Novak, is gonna help me with sign language.” He shrugs even though Benny can’t see it. Leaning back from the machine, he wipes his greasy hands on the towel slung over his shoulder. “She really wanted me to do it. And, unfortunately for me, she has some killer puppy eyes that she inherited from her father. I couldn’t have possibly said no, so now I need to look for someone to watch her.”

Benny rolls out from under the car and looks up at Dean. “If you need a sitter, I could watch her for the night. Saturday is my day off.”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that on your day off.”

Benny sits up from his trolley and arches a brow at him, amused. “Brother, have you not learned a thing about being here yet?”

He frowns and furrows his brows. What was he possibly supposed to learn in one day?

Benny must see his confusion because he clarifies. “When people ‘round here offer to help, they do it ‘cause they _want_ to help you. We’re a close-knit group, we like helpin’ one another.”

Yes, that is one thing Dean has definitely learned, and it unsettles him greatly. He isn’t used to all the kind gestures and selflessness being so fresh out of New York City. Although, if he wants to fit in around here, maybe he should dive in head first. This is a fresh start, right?

“Fine,” He says meeting Benny’s stare. “But I don’t care what you say. I’m paying you. And if you refuse it I’ll break into your car and stuff it in your glove box. God forbid whatever you keep hidden in there, I’ll do it.”

The laugh that comes from the other man shakes his whole body and he looks up at Dean thoroughly amused. “You’re gonna fit in jus’ fine ‘round here.”


	3. Chapter 3

The weekend comes much sooner than he expected. His week went by rather smoothly too, which came as a surprise to Dean. Especially seeing as bad luck likes to follow him everywhere. Also, not to mention, on top of him being constantly tired, he’s starting to get small moments of dizziness. Although, thankfully he’s been able to cover them up. Neither Benny nor Bobby have noticed anything out of the ordinary. He should honestly probably go to the doctor about all his problems. But there’s always at least two things that hold him back. The doctors, and being prescribed medication.

Ever since he was little, his body never liked medication stronger than Advil or Tylenol. The one time he had broken his arm when he was a teenager, the doctors had him on some pretty heavy duty pain pills.

When he broke his arm and the doctors had him on the painkillers, they didn’t simply numb the pain. It had caused him to be constantly nauseous and he threw up too much, resulting in making him dehydrated. The pills had also caused extreme confusion and paranoia. Sam had rushed Dean to the hospital in a panic. The doctors gave them the explanation that Dean is more susceptible to side effects in medications.

Needless to say, that hadn’t ended well for him.

Although, now he has a different reason for not wanting to take anything. If he were to get put on some kind of medication, he's afraid of becoming easily addicted to the substance. Because of his inability to take painkillers, when he joined Cain and his group, Cain had experimented on him. He'd given him marijuana. Oddly enough, instead of causing paranoia, it helped with his pain. It was a surprise, really. They had both thought it would cause paranoia. The fact that it worked delighted Cain. From that point on is when Dean went completely off the rail. Those aren’t memories he is willing to remember right now.

Stepping out of the shower, he wraps a clean towel around his hips after drying off the best he can. He casts a glance in the mirror, eyes drifting over his inked skin before looking away brashly. He moves to his room and scours his closet for something to wear. Weirdly enough, nothing seems suitable. Why doesn’t he have anything good to wear?

That thought makes his head spin. Consecutively making another thought worm its way into his mind. Is this considered a date?

No. No, it isn’t.

Although, it did kind of sound like he was asking Castiel out on a date when the words fell from his lips.

_No._ Dean reassures himself. This isn’t a date. All it is, is two people, having dinner, and getting to know each other while learning some sign language. That’s all. It doesn’t matter if he finds the man attractive. He’s allowed to think people are attractive without acting on those thoughts, dammit!

…But what should he wear?

_It doesn’t matter!_ Dean snaps at himself irritably. He isn’t trying to impress the man for fuck’s sake!

In a bout of anger, Dean rips clothes from his closet and hastily dresses. Looking in the mirror on the inside of his closet door that was there when they moved in, he takes in his appearance. As his eyes rake over his body a repulsed expression crinkles his features.

“Okay,” he mumbles to himself as he starts stripping. “Maybe not that, though.”

By the time he throws on a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and a blue and red and purple flannel, he’s much more relaxed. Granted it doesn’t last long when he hears Sam’s voice.

“Lookin’ spiffy there, Dean. Got a date or something?”

His entire body jolts and freezes, his heart jumping and pounding ruthlessly against his ribcage. Over his shoulder, still looking in the mirror, he sees Sam’s lumbering form smiling back at him wide.

“When do I get to meet ‘em? Whoever it is that actually has you going on an actual, honest to God _date_ must be something spectacular.” The crinkles indicate his brother’s jubilant laugh before it rings through his ears.

Whipping around so fast his spine pops in protest, his eyes scrutinize his room desperately. His heart having lodged itself in his throat and making it hard to breathe. As he takes in his empty, dreary, sparsely decorated room, his heart falls into the pit of his stomach.

_Of course he isn’t going to be here, you jackass._ He berates himself harshly as a glare finds its way to his face.

With another, pitifully desperate, glance around his room, he confirms he’s actually alone. It’s not like he’s actually expecting Sam to be standing there. If he were, Dean probably would have accidentally shot him out of fear, but it had sounded so _real_. Like Sam was actually there talking to him.

Dean cringes closing his eyes and momentarily hanging his head. It’s not enough that Sam haunts his dreams, but now he’s showing up when he’s awake? He can’t take both. This has to be because of severe sleep deprivation, right?

“Man, Dean,” Sam’s voice materializes again and Dean gasps out a dry sob, not daring to look up. “I knew your decorating skills were lacking. Even back in New York, you had more personality in your room than this.”

Shakily, Dean opens his eyes and hesitates before raising his head. Standing there in the middle of his room, arms crossed over his broad chest as he takes in Dean’s room, a small smile on his lips, is his brother. A moment passes before Sam looks over at him and his smile widens.

It doesn't last long though. Sam's smile falls a little when Dean doesn't smile back. It almost looks as if Not-Sam was expecting Dean to be happy to see him. Although, of course he would. Dean's mind is making this all up.

He bites back the tears burning in his throat. Only when Sam’s visage flickers like static on a TV does Dean remember he’s not real.

Sam curses something under his breath and disappears from sight. Not without a parting, borderline desperate, gaze at Dean. Looking as if he's trying to communicate months worth of conversations in one look.

And just like that, he rips himself from the place in his mind when Sam disappears. The glare that smacks itself on Dean’s face is scary enough to make the paint chip from the walls. With a dangerous growl, he slams his closet door closed.

After he finishes up in his room, he makes his way out into the living room where Elizabeth is watching one of her shows. The plate that held her dinner sits on the coffee table beside her, empty now. When he enters the room and takes a seat next to her, she looks at him. He had told her a couple days ago that he was going to be meeting up with Castiel today. But, of course, he’s going to remind her again since he’s going to be leaving here soon.

“Hey kiddo,” She smiles in response so Dean continues, motioning for her notebook, to make it a little easier. He doesn't want any miscommunication. She hands him the notebook and he writes what he wants to say.

_D: Remember how I'm meeting with Mr. Novak today?_

He shows it to her, letting her read it. When she's done, she nods.

_D: Well, someone is gonna show up soon. He's gonna stay here with you while I go out and meet up with him. His name is Benny._

Her eyes widen as she reads the words. Little hands hastily grab the notebook from him. She writes in it before desperately shoving it to Dean.

_E: I thought he was coming here to help you study._

A laugh bubbles up at the use of the word study. She’s not wrong, but the idea that he’s actually studying is rather funny to him. But he schools his expression when he sees her almost scared eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay." He tries to soothe her and beings to write again.

_D: We’re only going to dinner. I’ll be back before you even know it. If anything happens then I’ll be back, okay? Benny’s a real nice guy, you’ll get along with him great. He works with me down at the shop._ Y _ou'll have fun with him, I promise._

She frowns, looking a little sad, but nods.

Dean brushes a strand of hair from her face and tucks it behind her ear. His eyes roam over her face and he can see her trepidation there. This is the first time he’s going to be away from her like this since Sam. He makes sure she's watching him before he says, “I know you’re a tough kid.” He smiles at her as he tries to instill confidence in her. “Can you be my brave little girl for tonight?”

She meets his eyes and nods strongly puffing out her chest.

Dean’s grin widens at the sight and he ruffles her hair affectionately. “Atta girl.”

It’s not too long until there’s a rumble of a car outside that’s soon followed by a knock at the front door. He makes his way over to the door with Elizabeth hot on his heels and opens it to see Benny standing there with a smile. Stepping aside, he offers one in return and lets him in.

Elizabeth looks up at the man as if she’s appraising him and Dean can’t stifle the laugh that bubbles in him. Once she’s completed her appraisal, she holds out a steady hand for him to shake. Benny grins at Dean for a moment before looking back at her and taking her hand, nodding at her in greeting. Grinning from ear to ear, Dean ruffles her hair and pulls her into the side of his leg when she drops Benny’s hand.

“I already made her dinner,” He starts and Benny meets his eyes. “But if she gets hungry later you can find her a snack or something in the kitchen. I’m not sure how late I’ll be out,” He glances at the clock on the wall. It reads 6:54, he’s meeting Cas at seven. “But her bedtime is 8:30. No ifs ands or buts about it. She _will_ try and convince you otherwise that I let her stay up till ten on weekends, but I never go any later than nine.” And almost as an afterthought he adds, “Oh, and don’t let her boss you around,” He jokes with a grin. “She can be quite an authoritarian when she wants something.”

Benny barks a laugh, throwing his head back. “I’ll do my best.”

“Alright,” He thins his lips trying to think if he’s forgotten anything. “You have my number, call me if anything happens.”

“Don’t worry about us, brother, we’ll be okay.”

Dean thinks it over before nodding. He doesn’t want to leave Elizabeth, but part of him knows he’s overreacting and everything is going to be fine.

“Okay,” He forces himself to say as if voicing it will make him believe it more. He crouches down in front of Elizabeth and kisses her forehead. “Be good, okay?" ( _I’ll be back soon._ ) She nods and he stands up and giving Benny a final nod, he’s on his way.

Dean is the first one to arrive at the Roadhouse. He’s pleasantly surprised to see Jo working behind the counter. She shoots him a wide grin and he waves at her as he claims a booth along the wall. Not two minutes later she’s walking over to him.

“Look what the cat dragged in. You really came.” She beams a bright smile at him and crosses her arms over her chest. “Lucky you I’m actually here tonight. Although the bar doesn’t open till nine, I can swipe a beer if that’s what you’re craving.”

“Nice to see you too, Jo.” He grins back and then taps the table and leans back in the bench of his booth, slinging one arm over the back. “I’ll have a coffee and a bacon cheeseburger.”

“You’re one of those people who order the same thing every time, aren’t you.” She accuses him, lightheartedly.

He shrugs. “What can I say? It was damn good last time.”

“Damn right it is,” She laughs. “But you gonna have to venture from your little burger bubble one day. The whole menu is just as good.”

“I don’t doubt it. Next time I might even let you surprise me.”

She waggles her brows suggestively and they both get a little chuckle from that. “I’ll go put your order in.”

She turns around just as the bell above the door jingles to announce the presence of someone new. Dean's heart does a little jig at the thought that it may be Cas. He turns his eyes to the door and his poor heart trembles in excitement at the mere fact the man is here. And when Dean’s eyes rake over his body, taking in what he’s wearing, it only gets worse.

He is dressed nicely, but not _too_ nice. It’s almost as if his clothes are bordering the line on formal and casual, and it’s a really nice look on him. He’s wearing a nice rust-red button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It gives him a more relaxed look, Dean notes. Not to mention, he has a simple pair of black slacks on that hug his butt and thighs in _all_ the right ways. They are doing him the best of favors right about now.

Quickly, he rips his eyes away so he’s not openly ogling and drooling over the man’s ass. Instead, he forces his eyes to his face, which, to be fair, is just as nice.

“Oh,” Jo startles back when she almost runs into Cas. “Hey there, Castiel, you’re lookin’ good today.” He offers her an almost timid thank you before she grins and winks at him. “Grab a seat and I’ll be there in a moment.”

He nods and turns his eyes to scan the diner and bar, most likely to see if Dean is already here. When his eyes land on him, a smile finds a home on his face. He makes his way over to him offering a, much more confident, “Hello, Dean.” as he sits across from Dean in the booth.

“Hey, Cas.” He replies and shoots a toothy grin back at him. There isn’t enough willpower in the world that could make him stop his eyes from wandering very briefly down his chest again. Cas got dressed up, so he may as well appreciate it, right? Although, he doesn’t let himself enjoy it too much or for too long before snapping his eyes back up again. And _damn_ he didn’t realize how that shirt brings out his eyes.

Something along the lines of arousal twists in his stomach. Which, by the way, is the most inappropriate timing.

Would it be too much to say he looks nice? Jo did, so it wouldn’t be weird if he did, right? No, he probably shouldn’t. Cas doesn’t know that Dean flirts habitually without meaning anything behind it. It might make Cas think he’s hitting on him or that he’s interested. Well, he is, but that’s a given seeing how attractive the man is. It's probably best he keeps his trap shut for once in his life.

Jo is back at their booth not long after Cas sits down; she has a sly, borderline knowing, smile on her face. She places down a mug and pours Cas some coffee as if out of habit and she already knows what he’s about to order.

“What can I getcha, Mr. Novak?” The coffee from the pot stops filling the mug when she tilts it back. She then gives him a narrow-eyed look but there’s no malice behind it. “Please tell me you’re gonna be more original than Mr. Big Apple over here.”

There’s a small crease between Cas’ brows as he frowns. The squint of his eyes and tilt of his head in a confused manner is cuter than it should be. It reminds Dean of a perplexed owl.

Dean’s hand smacks his chest over his heart and gasps in mock hurt. Needing a quick scapegoat before he makes a fool of himself by saying those thoughts out loud. “I take offense, I’m very original and my tastes in food is extraordinary. You’re just jealous you don’t have my palette.”

It is true though, he is someone who orders something once and if he likes it then he rarely deviates from said food. Every diner he’s ever been to, he orders a bacon cheeseburger and a beer. Sam had made a joke out of it one time back when he first started doing it. He joked that Dean had a little list of all the burger joints and diners they’ve ever been to. And beside the name of the diners was a rating and his comments on the food. If he would or wouldn't visit again. Along with notes if the waiters and waitresses were cute.

At first, Dean didn’t have such a thing. That night, though, he set to work making a rather large list in a spiral notebook that he kept in his desk drawer. Of course, he couldn’t remember all the places they’ve been by name alone, though. He snuck Sam’s laptop one night and did some research to look up all the diners, and food trucks, and burger joints in New York. Needless to say, there were a lot. He filled up his list with all the places he can remember visiting. He drew star ratings next to them, and, on the far side, he wrote everything he thought about the place. After getting all the places they’ve been, he started a list of places they needed to go.

The night that Dean showed Sam his list, he had a good long laugh over it. He then, of course, agreed to make it their mission to fill out the rest of those places. Every time they went someplace new, Dean brought his notebook and he would fill out his rating. Sam would even write in the margins about how great their salads and rabbit food were.

They never did get the list complete, but maybe one day Dean will be able to finish it with Elizabeth’s help.

Jo crosses her arms over her chest amused. “You’ve only been here once, but I bet I could tell you exactly what you order nearly every time you go out.” She arches a brow in a challenge and Dean mimics the expression with his own level of smugness. Her eyes wander over him and she narrows her eyes in thought before smiling. “I bet you order a burger at every joint up in New York. Bacon cheeseburger and fries to be exact. And I bet you anything that you drink beer with it; bottle or tap, doesn’t matter.”

Well shit. Dean’s eyes slightly widen, actually surprised. He looks over at Cas and pulls a sturgeon face tilting his head slightly to the side before cracking a wide grin at Jo. “I feel like I should be a little concerned how accurate you got that.”

She shrugs nonchalantly as if she isn’t proud, but he can see the smug smirk playing at the corner of her lips. “You’re just easy to get a read on.”

A slow smirk pulls at his lips and he winks flirtatiously, but he tries not to make it _actually_ flirty. “Oh, I bet I am.” He turns back to Cas, not wanting to keep him out of the conversation. Especially since he’s here with him, and he sees blue eyes staring at him with both amusement and curiosity. “So, tell me, are you going to be more original?”

“Well,” He quirks a small smile, his blue eyes never wavering from his. “I’m afraid I’m less than original. I’m rather fond of bacon cheeseburgers as well.” His eyes slide to Jo. “I’ll have my usual, thank you.”

Jo rolls her eyes exasperatedly, yet fondly. “You men.” She then flashes a smile before heading back to put in Cas’ order.

Turning his attention back to the man sitting across from him, he raises his brows in question. They both agree to do their 'studying', as Elizabeth called it, after they eat. They make idle small talk for awhile, and one time Cas gives him a soft smile. It sends Dean’s heart aflutter and it sends his thoughts spiraling.

He mentally smacked himself and said to pull himself together.

He hates it, but he can’t shake the feeling that this all feels like a date. Hell, it even looks like a freaking date to everyone else. That's probably why Jo was smirking at them with that look of hers. Although Dean swears high and low it isn’t a date, and he’ll deny it to his dying day if anyone thinks otherwise. Maybe if he says it enough he’ll convince himself it isn’t a date.

Because it’s not.

He’s glad when Jo comes back with their food and sets it in front of them. The moment that the smell wafts under his nose, all cumbersome thoughts drift from his mind. At this moment, all he can focus on is that delicious burger.

“You know,” Her voice jerks him out of his burger haze and looks up. “I knew I’d see you two in here together at some point. I’m just surprised it’s just happening now.”

Dean arches a brow at that. “Why?”

“Well, Castiel here is the only one in town that knows sign language. You were bound to be directed to him one way or another. Not to mention he’s a teacher.” She smiles and raps the table with the tips of her fingers. “Glad to see you’re getting along. Enjoy your delicious unoriginality.” She turns her eyes to Cas adding, “Just enjoy.” With a wink before she’s on her way.

Not really giving the wink a second thought, mainly because it was directed at Cas, he looks back to him. What he sees is a bit intriguing and mildly adorable. Though it raises a few questions. There’s a light blush dusting across his cheeks. Maybe it’s some kind of inside joke that Dean isn’t privy to, or maybe Cas just blushes easy, who knows. All he knows is that it only makes his eyes pop more and Dean's all for that.

Cas watches as Jo leave before hesitantly turning his eyes back to Dean. When Cas sees him staring at him, he abruptly clears his throat and speaks before Dean can voice the curiosity he’s sure is showing on his face. “Those cupcakes you and Elizabeth made were very good." He pauses to take a sip of his coffee. Dean takes a bite of his burger, doing everything in his power not to let out an obscene moan in the middle of a small town diner and bar. “I suppose you weren’t lying when you said she likes baking.”

He nods his head swallowing the bite he took. “Definitely not a lie. She and her dad used to bake all the time and I guess it just stuck with her. Give her any excuse to bake and she’ll use it on me so I have to let her.” Dean chuckles at the memory that pops into his head. “One time, I was watching her back in New York while her dad was out. He told me not to let her in the sweets because he didn’t want her to ruin her appetite for dinner. I completely understood, and I swear I was going to abide by his rules. But that evening she came up to me and told me something I couldn't refute. She said that it was somebody’s birthday somewhere and it was mandatory that we celebrate it.

“Now, I did initially say no, keep in mind, but she has a way of making me crumble, so naturally I gave in. Of course, when Sam got home he just-” _gave me that bitch face that I got oh-so-often for silly or stupid shit I’ve done._ Is what Dean wants to say. Although, he stops himself when he feels his heart clench at the memory. The disapproving glare of his brother’s face fresh in his mind. The glare that was there when he caught him and Elizabeth. Both of them red-handed and guilty of illicit cupcake forgery. There was no malice or conviction behind it. Almost as if he knew Dean would cave, and he was simply confirming earlier suspicions.

His smile softens, trying to cover the pain he’s brought upon himself. “You could say he had a look of false disappointment to cover up his amusement when he saw us covered in flour.”

The look on Cas’ face, while he’s watching him talk, sends his stomach into a fit of rampant butterflies. His eyes are creased in amusement as Dean is, more than likely, lighting up talking about Elizabeth and Sam.

“It sounds like she’s got you right where she wants you.” Cas muses.

He huffs a laugh. “You could say that again.” Dean meets his eyes, needing a new topic. More memories will rise up if he keeps talking about Sam and Elizabeth, and he'd rather not deal with them right now. "I'm guessing you know the feeling, seeing you have a son of your own."

The smile that works its way onto Cas' face is soft and warm. It looks good on him, Dean thinks.

Cas is soon off on a tangent about Jack and how he always seems to get what he wants. It segues into a, seemingly less enjoyable, story. It's about his uncle and how he has gotten Jack into pranking. Jack took to it like bees to honey. He's been pranking Cas whenever he can now. Dean can't help it. He laughs. But the fond look in Cas' eyes tells Dean he isn't mad about it. In fact, he starts to chuckle as well.

“I heard you were the one who got the job at Bobby’s, how are you liking it so far?” Cas says, changing the subject.

“Love it.” He beams, clearly enthusiastic about the job, and by the smile on Castiel’s face, he can tell Dean’s enjoying it. “Bobby and Benny are great. They’re a lot nicer than the people in New York, that’s for sure.”

Castiel hums in agreement. “Yes, that’s very true. I’ve been to New York a couple times to visit my uncles and I must say the people there were a little pushy and … _unique_.”

Dean barks a laugh and throws his head back momentarily before meeting Cas’ pleased stare. “You’re too generous, Cas. They’re brutes, plain and simple. But hey,” He raises a brow and smirks. “Maybe we ran into each other on the street without even knowing it.”

The chuckle that comes from Cas is light and sounds disbelieving. “There’s no such way I would forget seeing somebody like you, Dean, even in the hustle and bustle of a city like New York.”

For a minute Dean is thrown off by how genuine Cas had sounded while he said those words and it twists his stomach. It doesn’t help that he didn’t move his eyes from his the whole time he said them. He feels his face getting warmer and he prays to any and every deity out there that it isn’t showing on his face right now.

And, of course, Dean being Dean, that honest tone in his voice means one thing. One thing that he knows he’d rather not get into right now. Either emotions or flirting. Neither sound good at the moment, so he diverts down another route and acts ignorant.

“Yeah,” Dean laughs, “Even in New York I still kind of stuck out. Oddly enough, I had people recognizing me a lot, so if we had met I’m sure you most likely would have remembered me too.” Dean rubs the back of his neck a little sheepishly. “I always felt bad when people would recognize me though and I didn’t know them.” He shrugs and takes a drink. “I guess that’s the glamour of New York though.”

“Yes, I can see how some people would like. The fact that you could go practically undetected or recognized in a city that large.” Cas drops his chin to his chest and a shy smile appears on his face as if he’s remembering an old memory. “I know it sounded good when I was younger.”

He raises his brows in surprise. “You wanted to move to New York?”

Cas hums in affirmation.

“Huh,” He isn’t sure why, but he wasn’t expecting Cas to have wanted to move to New York. That just leads to another question. It’s a question that probably has more meaning to it than Cas would most likely want to tell. Although, it’s out of Dean’s mouth before he can even think to stop himself. “How’d you end up here?”

“My uncle," Cas says easily. "He said it was a fresh start I needed.” Cas looks into Dean’s eyes and hesitates for a moment. The words he was going to say sitting there as he searches him, and when he seems to find what he’s looking for he continues. “It turns out this town is rather popular for fresh starts, after all.”

Dean doesn’t say anything at first. Wanting to know what exactly Cas needed a fresh start from, but knowing that it isn’t right of him to ask that right now. Especially since he himself would rather avoid the whole _‘why’d you move here?’_ question. Which isn’t entirely fair seeing how he just asked Cas that very thing. But, to be fair, he didn’t have to answer it if he really didn’t want to.

“That’s what I’ve gathered so far.” He finally says. “At least, with Benny’s story, yours, and mine, it sounds like this place is a direct route for new beginnings.”

“There have been a few over the years that I’ve been here, but a lot of them stop here at a midpoint of sorts. Not many stay like you are.”

“They don’t know what they’re missin’ out on.”

“Yes, I agree.”

After a moment's hesitation and their blatant staring, Dean clears his throat. He adds on the first thing that comes to his mind so he can stop staring at those intense baby blues. “I mean, I was only here a day when Benny offered to watch Elizabeth for me tonight. But, of course, being straight out of the city I was skeptical of it all. Especially the whole 'doing it for free' thing, that still throws me.” Well, honestly, everyone being so friendly and helpful is all still so bizarre. Hopefully, he'll get used to it eventually.

“I guess my point is,” He continues, “Is that everyone’s so nice here. I was surprised to make friends so soon and feel as welcome as I am, y’know?”

He was expecting everyone to shun or avoid him. Mainly because of his appearance, but it was basically the opposite. Like he said before, these people are too trusting for their own good. Although it must be nice to be so relaxed all the time, knowing so many people have your back if something goes awry. What Dean wouldn’t give to feel that relaxed for once.

How long has it been since it was the last time he actually felt relaxed?

Not when he finally got away from Cain, if anything he was extremely on edge and jumpy at that point. He was always thinking someone or something was going to come up behind him and shank him. It wasn't even his life he was scared for most of the time though. He was scared for Sam and Elizabeth. He was scared someone would come find them and kill one, or all, of them.

Not when he was in prison. In there he had to be on his guard constantly, especially when people found out who he was. They ended up finding out he was one of Cain’s men. Not only that but _The Reaper._ Everyone who wanted to prove they were the top dog would go after Dean. It never ended well for anyone when they tried to do anything to him. If anything it only made Dean more on edge and most certainly not relaxed.

Definitely not when he was actually part of Cain’s men. There was never a time to be relaxed. He was always doing something. _Working_ , Dean thinks with distaste.

Not even before he joined Cain and his men. He and Sam were homeless and he had to work his ass off to keep them alive, let alone even thinking about being relaxed.

And not even when they had a roof over their heads. John was always on their case about something. The constant abuse and screaming. It was where it all started. Where Dean learned to always look over his shoulder. Never trust anyone other than Sammy.

So yeah, Dean can’t really remember the last time he’s been truly relaxed.

“Yes, I completely understand what you’re saying. I don’t know Benny too personally, but he’s always pleasant when I bring my car to the shop. I’m not surprised you and him are good friends already. I made friends with Charlie immediately upon my arrival here. That is actually who I’m having watch Jack tonight.”

Dean nods, indicating he's listening. And he really is, but his mind goes off to think about Cas and Jack and what he said about his fresh start.

After a few moment's thought, suddenly Cas’ whole fresh start is starting to come together. Although he knows not to jump to conclusions, especially considering his own story. He’s sure people have started to think he left New York because his brother died, which, isn’t _entirely_ true. That being said, maybe a wife (or husband, he doesn’t judge) left him or died or was killed and Cas wanted to leave. Perhaps that’s only half of the story, Dean doesn’t know and he’s not going to deliberately try and piece it out. If he left where he was originally from in need or a new beginning, then it’s most likely a sensitive topic. Therefore meaning he won’t ask, just like he’s sure Cas is avoiding talking about Sam for Dean’s sake.

Thankfully Cas saves them both from any of Dean’s potentially awkward silence fillers by speaking up again. “What did you do in New York?”

He internally sighs in relief and his shoulders sag just barely, but he shrugs to cover it up. “I was mainly a mechanic there too, but I did smaller jobs every now and then.” And by smaller jobs, he means working for Cain. Most likely working under the alias _The Reaper._ Also meaning it was never anything good, but nobody needs to know about that. “What about you, you always been a teacher?”

“No,” He shakes his head. “I moved here about five years ago.” Approximately how old Jack is, Dean concludes. His brain automatically draws red lines connecting pieces together. “I actually used to be an accountant.”

“Oh really?” Dean arches an intrigued brow and smirks, eager to change the topic off of himself.

Cas, of course, smiles back with a sheepish laugh. “Yes, I know, very exciting.”

“No, it is,” Dean grins from ear to ear leaning forward, unable to keep from teasing. “I’m sure the life of an accountant was riveting for you.” Cas rolls his eyes, but he knows he isn’t offended because of the smile that’s still in place. “Although I gotta admit, I am curious. How’d you go from accountant to elementary school teacher?”

“When I first moved here, I was only doing small things like bookkeeping for all the shop owners. Which I still do, actually. I would also volunteer a lot of my time helping the kids and students at the school. Turns out they all seemed to really like me and many of them had their grades improved after I helped them a little. Naomi ended up offering me a full-time position as a teacher at that point. She said something about it being good for the children. I never thought I would love it as much as I do. But helping kids and watching them grow and learn and succeed, it's very rewarding.”

The smile on Cas’ face warms Dean from the inside out. He really enjoys what he does, and that look is something Dean adores seeing on anyone’s face. The fact that they’re loving what they’re doing is amazing. It fills him with a little hope that the world isn’t as doomed as his pessimistic brain makes it out to be.

“You really seem to enjoy it.” Cas meets his eyes and Dean smiles. “That’s good. That’s really good.”

Glancing down at his plate Dean realizes that, somewhere along the line, he finished his meal. Apparently so has Cas. He never even realized they finished eating, how the hell did that happen. _When_ the hell did that happen?

Cas looks down noticing what Dean has and he looks similarly shocked, but smiles. “I suppose we got caught up talking.”

“I guess so,” Dean laughs.

“Would you like to learn some sign language now?”

Dean nods, piling up their plates and everything so it’s easier for Jo when she comes to clear their dishes. It's a habit for Dean to do that now. Sam always did it and it wore off on Dean. Sam always used to say 'It's the small things, Dean.' and pile their plates up for the waitress. The smiles on the waitresses faces were enough to prove Sam was right.

Jo comes back pretty soon, and as soon as she’s by their table she asks if she can get them some drinks or anything. Dean gets a beer and so does Cas and when they get the bottles, they launch into full-on study mode. It lasts for a good amount of time before Dean’s phone starts to ring in his pocket.

His mind immediately gravitates to something being wrong with Elizabeth. That, of course, makes his heart catch in his throat. Pulling out the phone he sees Benny’s name on the screen and his eyes widen and he quickly looks up to Cas. “Sorry, I gotta get this, it’s Benny.”

“Of course, it’s no problem.”

He instantly slides his finger across the screen and answers it, worry tingeing his voice. “Benny? Is something wrong? Did something happen?”

“Ah, well,” Benny’s voice rings through the other side of the device. “Nothing too bad really, just, do you have a dog?”

And just like that, Dean deflates. He groans and rubs at his face irritated. “Oh my god,” He sighs heavily pinching the bridge of his nose before dropping his hand. “No, no I don’t. It broke in the other morning too, just- I’ll be there in a bit. I’m nearly positive he’s harmless, but keep an eye on him just in case.”

“That mean you don’t want Elizabeth to touch ‘im?”

He hesitates for a moment thinking it over. He didn’t seem to be all that mean and he looked healthy and clean, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt. “As long as he doesn’t show any aggression and if he’s clean it’ll be fine.”

“You got it, brother.” Benny now sounds amuses on the other end. Dean hangs up on him and rubs his face yet again before looking up to meet Cas’ concerned stare.

“Sorry to cut this short, Cas, but something came up and I really gotta head back.”

He shakes his head in understanding. “No need to apologize, it’s alright. Is everything okay?”

The pair stands up from the booth and Dean takes out his wallet from his back pocket. Throwing some bills on the table for both their meals, they head out.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just have an intruder back home.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cas’ eyes widen. The shock on his face is clearly indicating that that is certainly not something Cas would label as _fine_. He cracks a smile, holding the door for Cas as they leave the diner, a quick wave to Jo before he closes the door. “It’s a dog, Cas, don’t freak out.”

Cas squints his eyes and tilts his head in obvious confusion. “A dog?”

He nods looking around. There is only one other car parked in front of the diner and it’s a giant truck. “Did you walk or drive here?”

“I walked.”

“In that case,” He makes his way to the Impala and opens the passenger side door, waving his other arm towards it. “Hop in.” Cas graciously accepts the ride and slides in the open door. When he’s in and settled, Dean closes the door and gets in on the other side. He starts the Impala up and takes off in the direction Cas tells him to take.

“To answer your question, yes, it’s a dog. Damn thing keeps breaking into the house somehow. I woke up the other day with him in my bed. Scared the shit out of me.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean sees Cas trying desperately to hide his amusement. He drops his head and looks out the window, but Dean catches the outright amused grin before he can turn in time.

“Are you laughing at me?”

Quickly, Cas shakes his head and clears his throat as he schools his expression and looks back at Dean. Although his valiant effort lasts all of two seconds before his smile is back and wider than ever. “Sorry, no,” He chuckles shaking his head. “It’s just- the whole thing is rather amusing because, of course, out here the kind of intruder you’d get is a dog.” Cas laughs a little more at something he thinks. “Don’t fault him too bad, I’m sure he heard someone new moved in and he made it his mission to make you both feel welcome.”

A slow smirk works its way onto Dean’s face and he huffs a short laugh. Casting a quick glance at Cas before looking back to the road. “Yeah, well, in that case, message received.”

The drive to Cas’ place is shorter than he expected. He lives in town, only two blocks from The Roadhouse so it’s no surprise that he walked there. He pulls into the driveway and takes it in. It’s a quaint white two-story home with a roofed porch. A large tree is sitting in the front yard, a well-manicured lawn, and a nice array of shrubs and flowers.

“Thank you for the ride, Dean.” Cas opens the side door. “I wish you the best of luck with your guest.” And with that, he slides out.

“I’ll make sure to let you know how it goes.” Dean says with a light, joking tone. Only when Cas smiles and begins to close to door does Dean remember something. “Oh, wait!” He blurts as he rips his glove box open and takes out a napkin and a pen and writes his number on it.

Cas leans over so he’s able to see Dean again. “Yes?”

He stretches his arm out with the napkin in hand. “Here,” He smirks with an allure of confidence. “So I can send you a picture of the mammoth.”

Cas stares at the white napkin for a second before smiling and taking it. “I’ll be sure to message you when I get inside so you’ll have mine as well.”

“Alright, I’ll see you around then.”

“Good night, Dean.” Cas says before backing up and closing the door.

He waits a moment in the driveway until Cas is safely inside. He knows he doesn’t have to, and really it’s unnecessary, but it’s a habit that puts his mind at ease. Because what if he left him and he was locked out or something? Not cool. But the moment the front door is open, Dean is on his way. Not ten minutes later, he pulls into his tree-canopied driveway. Before he heads inside, to what he can assume is possibly chaos, he pulls out his phone. It beeped at him a little bit ago to indicate he had a text.

And wow it’s been a long time since he actually got a text from somebody. It feels oddly nice.

Pulling out his phone he opens the text from the unknown number.

 

_Would you like to have another session next week? Saturday at seven again or whenever works best for you?_

 

With a smile, he puts Cas’ number in his contacts before going back to his text to reply.

 

_Yeah, I’m buying again though. I demand that’s my payment if u won’t take my money._

 

The reply comes nearly immediately.

 

_I think that sounds reasonably fair. I look forward to it :) have a nice night, Dean._

 

After shooting off a quick reply, Dean is out of his car. He's up on the front porch where, through the front window, he can see Elizabeth laying on the floor. She is staring at Mufasa’s face, both of them laying on their sides watching one another. Mufasa’s nose twitches and he quickly sits up to smell the air. Immediately after, his tail starts thumping happily against the floor, panting happily. He scrunches up his brows in confusion. There’s no way he can smell him, right? Sure the window is cracked open, but still.

Deciding not to bother waiting any longer, he walks over to the front door and opens it. Upon entry, he is faced with Mufasa sitting in the entryway and staring at him. Amusingly enough, Elizabeth is sitting next to him doing the same. He blinks at them for a moment before looking up at Benny. to his credit, he does his best to keep his snort of laughter in when he sees the man.

Benny is leaning on the archway to the living room, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. Dean has to drop his eyes to the dog before he bursts into laughter. Benny is _covered_ in glitter. Usually, the sight of glitter would make him want to groan and grumble about what awaits him to clean up later. But the sight of Benny is too great to care about that right now.

Pulling himself together he sighs and draws a hand over his face. It's a meager attempt to collect himself and focus back on the main topic. He can tease Benny about the glitter later. “I don’t even know how he gets in here.”

“I don’t know,” Benny shrugs. “I heard something from the kitchen the moment before he showed up.”

“Did you look around?” He asks meeting his eyes again as he starts walking towards the scene of the crime.

“Sure, but I didn’t see any sign of a break in anywhere.”

Of course, he believed Benny when he said he didn’t find anything out of the ordinary, but he’s still confused to all hell. “I’m just gonna double check everything, you don’t have to help if you don’t want to.” But of course he does.

After they double and triple check everything, Dean looks at the door again. It’s an old barn door used for horses where you can open half separately or the whole thing. Obviously, at first, he’d thought that maybe it wasn’t locked or closed all the way, but it’s locked firm and secure. Needless to say, neither of them find anything.

He sighs turning around. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stares down at Mufasa; Elizabeth and him staring back at him, glued at the hip.

“How the hell are you even getting in here?”

He doesn’t know what to do in this kind of situation. The dog is just going to keep pulling his Houdini act and popping in; whether he likes it or not. He rubs the back of his neck with a quiet groan then pulls out his phone and swiping to get his camera open. Elizabeth beams up at him with a toothy smile as he snaps the photo.

“Getting attached to him already?” Benny jokes.

“No,” He scoffs shaking his head. He opens his messages and sends the picture to Cas. He adds a little caption of _‘He’s annoyingly photogenic’_ then looks back to Benny. “I told Cas I had an intruder to attend to, figured I might as well show him who it is.”

Benny laughs and his phone dings to indicate he’s got a message. Cas sure is quick at replying, he wasn’t expecting one so soon.

 

_You weren’t kidding when you said he was a mammoth. He’s much bigger than I initially imagined him to be. I need to believe you more often when you say things that sound like jokes. He’s truly a mammoth. Word of advice? Play nice and I’m sure he will spare your life._

 

He shakes his head and chuckles at what Cas said before turning his phone’s screen off. Instead of putting it down he twirls it in his hand. He should call Gilda so she can come and pick him up. He bites the inside of his bottom lip when another thought pops into his head. Or maybe he could keep him. Elizabeth seems to adore him. If she’s not already completely in love with him. Although, owning a dog was never on Dean’s list of _‘Things to do’_ , but neither was being Elizabeth’s primary caretaker. Not to mention Sam had mentioned to him that he was thinking about getting a dog for her. Before the accident happened, of course.

Benny, as if he’s able to read his mind, chooses this moment to speak up. “He seems like a great dog.” Dean hums and Benny glances over at him from the corner of his eye. “Smart too.”

“You trying to convince me into keeping him or something?” He grins.

“It could be a good thing.” He shrugs. “For all three of you. Could teach Elizabeth how to care for something. The dog could use a family again, not to mention he seems to have taken to you two quickly.”

“You said all three of us, how would keeping him be good for me? I’ve never been a dog person.”

“You’d get to see Elizabeth smile at you like that, for one.” Benny nods in her direction and Dean turns his eyes to her. She’s smiling at him like he hung the moon just for her, a delighted twinkle in her eyes. “Not to mention dogs can be great stress relief.”

A sardonic laugh bursts from him without him meaning to. “Not if they’re the source.” He pauses in the twirling of his phone to give the pair on the floor a good hard look before sighing. “But maybe you’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

Dean rolls his eyes but smiles as he opens his phone and dials Gilda’s number. It rings three times before she answers with a cheery, “Hello?”

“Hey, Gilda.”

“Dean? Oh no, don’t tell me he did it again.”

He chuckles a little. “Yeah, Houdini showed up for a late night visit again.”

“Oh my god, Dean, I’m so sorry. I’ll come and get him right now-”

“Actually,” He cuts her off before she can run to her truck and come over here. “I was wondering if I could take him off your hands.”

The line is silent for a few beats before she finally speaks up again. “Wait, you actually want to keep him?”

“I mean,” He shrugs even though she can’t see it. “Yeah. He’s really not a bad dog, and he only runs away to come here, so I don’t think he’ll be a hassle with trying to escape.” After a moment he adds with a smile, “Elizabeth’s all over him anyway, so I don’t think I could pry her away from him if I tried.”

He hears her laugh from the other side of the phone, clearly amused. “Well, in that case, how could I possibly deny her that? He’s all yours. I’ll fill out the paperwork and settle everything, just stop in sometime to sign the papers and I’ll do the rest.”

“Alright, I can do that. I’ll see you later then.”

“Yes, have a good night, Dean.”

They hang up and Dean turns to Elizabeth, crouching in front of her. When her eyes are on him he speaks. “How would you like it if Mufasa were to ( _stay here with us_ )?”

She makes a loud squeal and practically bounces where she sits nodding frantically.

Dean can only laugh at her excitement, knowing he made the right choice. “Good, because ( _he’s staying_ ).”

Another squeal comes from her as she wraps her arms around his neck tightly in a hug. He smiles and wraps his arms around her just as tight before letting go and ruffling up her hair fondly.

“Well,” Dean starts and looks over at Benny with a smirk. “Besides the whole intruder situation, was she that bad?”

“Not even close, but I gotta say she is really energetic when she opens up and isn’t nervous around someone.”

“Don’t I know it.” He laughs and they make their way out of the kitchen to the front door. Benny puts on his shoes in preparation to leave. “So do you regret offering to watch her?”

“Never,” Benny laughs meeting his eyes. “She may be a handful, but she was a good handful. I’d've watched her for free.”

“Speaking of which,” Dean digs out his wallet and fishes out a fifty he has in there and hands it over to Benny. Only, Benny doesn’t take it.

“I’m not takin’ any more than thirty from you.”

Dean waves the bill in his face impatiently. “Don’t make me shove it down your shirt, cause I will.” When Benny doesn’t budge to grab the money Dean continues. “It’s for you having to suffer through the glitter. You’re coated in and will definitely be finding over the rest of the week.”

Benny’s brow arches as he wipes a hand through his hair then laughs amusedly. “Now, how’d that get there?”

“Glitter has a mind of its own, I swear.” Taking the opportunity, he shoves the bill in Benny’s glitter-covered hand and claps him on the shoulder. “Now get outta here and go relax, Twilight.”

“Don’t you dare start calling me Edward.” He threatens him jokingly as he opens the door stepping out, and Dean stands in the doorway with a smirk.

“Sure thing, Emmett.”

Benny half turns back to him when he reaches the bottom of the steps of the porch and points at him. “This is only proving you’ve seen the movies.”

“What can I say, my brother went through a phase and I had to suffer through it. What’s your excuse?”

Benny swats the air as if to bat the subject away and they both laugh while he gets in his truck. Dean and Elizabeth both wave him off before he closes the door and looks down at the two watching him. He can already tell they’re going to be like two peas in a pod.

“You,” He points at Mufasa, who, in response, begins wagging his tail. “You pee on the floor and we’ll have words.”

With the law now set, Dean puts a hand on Elizabeth’s head, ruffling her hair. He pulls her into his side momentarily as he passes and goes into the living room. Elizabeth and Mufasa both following him to the couch where he sits down and turns on the TV. She jumps onto the couch and claims her usual spot curled up in his side. Immediately after that, Mufasa jumps up as well. He curls up on the far end with his head resting gently on Elizabeth’s legs.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don’t think so, buddy. Down.” He sees Elizabeth’s hand fall onto Mufasa’s head, making his ears twitch to the sides. She looks up at Dean with pleading eyes. Oh, come on. Dean groans rubbing a hand down his face, but sighs. “Fine, but he better not scratch it.”

After they finally all settle, it doesn’t take long for Elizabeth to fall asleep tucked into his side. And when that happens, Dean picks her up and takes her back to her room, Mufasa hot on his tail. He puts her in bed and doesn’t say anything about Mufasa jumping up on her bed with her. He’d rather have him in here with her to watch over her than with Dean. Dean is able to take care of himself. When he gets her tucked in, he kisses her on the forehead and goes back out into the living room. He grabs a bottle of beer for his nightly routine.

He tries to go to sleep that night after three beers and a pleasant buzz, but it never comes.


	4. Chapter 4

Being up with the birds was never something Dean liked. It’s too damn early. Although the fact that he had been laying in bed for the last few hours, fruitlessly chasing sleep, has made him irritable. The moment he got up and out of his room, down the hall, and into the kitchen, Mufasa is on his heels. He walks to the back door and opens it for Mufasa, who gratefully trots out the door.

Dean takes a deep breath of fresh air and holds it captive in his lungs for a few seconds before releasing it. Letting the door hang open, to keep a nice breeze circling the house, he starts making himself a pot of coffee. It’ll be a few hours at least before he wakes Elizabeth up, so he figures he might as well take a moment and enjoy the early morning since sleep is rejecting him.

Once the coffee machine gurgles to life and Dean has a mug filled to the brim with its dark liquid, he makes his way through the house to the front door. He makes it out onto the front porch and claims the only chair he has sitting out here. Taking another deep inhale of the fresh air, he closes his eyes and basks in it for a moment.

The air out here is something that Dean never would have thought he would love so much. It’s clear of the city smog and pollutants, not to mention the night sky is littered with stars that he would never see in the city because of light pollution.

A woodsy pine scent lingers in the air, but it’s more prominent that usual. It must have rained some last night and brought the scent forward. There is a heavy dew sitting on every surface. The grass shining almost white when the light hits it just right and even his car is coated in a fine mist, water rivulets rolling down the sleek metal.

Once he finishes his first cup of coffee he lazily gets a second, then a third and fourth; each time coming back out to sit on the porch to enjoy it while listening to the chirping birds and the animals scurrying in the forest surrounding his house. Mufasa made his way out front by his second cup and joined him by laying by his feet.

It all feels oddly serene, and yet because of that reason it sets him at a little unease. He still feels like he should be on edge constantly, always having an eye of a hawk, cautious of the tiniest of noises. But he’s not, and that both terrifies and overjoys him. He knows he shouldn’t let himself get soft. If he does, then it would be easy for Cain or anyone to take advantage of him. But he also doesn’t want to never let himself trust the people of this town or feel at home.

Home, maybe that’s why he’s having this unexplainable feeling; Dean has never had a true _home_. The last place he considered his home wasn’t even a place, it was his brother, and that was taken from him. Maybe he’s feeling like this because he may actually be able to let himself call this place _home_ , to always have somewhere to go back to, a place to feel _safe_. Well, as safe as he can.

But he isn’t alone here. There is Elizabeth, and even Mufasa now. Mufasa would warn him if something wasn’t right too. He’s not the only one on guard around here, and even if the other one on guard is a dog, it puts him at ease more than it probably should.

Going back inside, he procures some food and puts it on a plate for Mufasa’s breakfast. He’ll have to go shopping for him today. Where would he go for dog supplies? Grocery store for dog food, but where would collars and leashes and toys be?

 With that thought swirling in his head, he gets to making breakfast for him and Elizabeth. Overall, putting aside the fact that he’s tired as hell and hopefully the coffee will kick in soon, it’s a rather peaceful morning. He wouldn’t mind getting used to these.

When Elizabeth finally wakes up, much to his surprise it’s without his prompting, she has a hilarious case of bed-head. Her hair is an absolute mess sitting atop her head and sticking up every which way. She plops down in one of the dining table chairs and slouches forward rubbing her eyes and face with vigor, trying desperately to wipe away the sleep. After a few moments, he places a plate of french toast in front of her and pours her a glass of orange juice before sitting across from her with his own plate.

Sitting on the side of the table is her notebook they use to talk so he reaches over and drags it to him. He writes down what he wants to say and guides it to her.

_D: We’re gonna have to go shopping for Mufasa today and get him some supplies. I was thinking maybe we can leave around 10, sound good to you?_

Elizabeth nods up at him while she grabs the syrup and tilts it upside down and loads her breakfast with the sticky substance.

When it turns 9:30 the pair both got impatient and were ready to get going, so that’s what they do. Dean lets Elizabeth out first and while he’s stepping through, Mufasa tries his damndest to squeeze through his legs as well but Dean doesn’t budge.

“No way are you getting in Baby. You’re staying here mister.”

And with that, he quickly closes the door on him. There’s a quiet whine on the other side of the door that almost makes Dean feel bad, but he ignores it and gets into the Impala. Once they’re both ready, he takes them to the grocery store. There are spots to park in front of the store, which he much prefers because there are some pot holes in their small parking lot that would eat Baby alive. Most of the spaces in front of the store are taken, but there’s one in front of the church that he gladly takes.

In the grocery store they find the pet section and he has to admit, it’s disappointing. The dog and cat food selection is decent enough, but their toys and collars and other dog supplies are really lacking. Although, he supposes he can’t be too disappointed seeing that this is only a grocery store.

He looks over the collars and other supplies, a crease appearing between his brow. The only collars here are small dog collars or cat collars with tiny bells on them. None of them would work for a dog his size. Honestly, looking over everything else on the shelves, nothing here would really work too well for a dog his size. The bowls are even too small. They’re the two joined rectangular bowls that are made of plastic. Well, it looks like they have to find another place to buy this stuff.

Turning from the less than adequate collar section, they make their way to the bagged food section. Browsing their options, Elizabeth keeps going for the ones with the pretty colors or ones with dogs that look like Mufasa on them. Dean has no idea what kind of food is good or how much he needs. Does the brand really matter? In the end he gets a fifty pound bag.

They leave the store, the bag heavy in Dean’s arm as his other arm hangs down by his side with Elizabeth’s hand clutching his hand. When they get to the car, he releases Elizabeth’s hand and opens the trunk to throw the bad in. Once it’s in and he’s closing the hatch, the church doors open and people start filing out. The movement catches Dean’s eye but doesn’t hold his attention. He opens the back door for Elizabeth but a voice stops him mid-motion.

“Oh, Dean, Elizabeth,” Dean snaps himself back to see Cas walking down the steps of the church with his son. There’s a smile on his face and he returns it. He walks up to them and looks back momentarily confused back at the church before meeting his eyes again. “Were you in church?”

A chuckle escapes him before he has a chance to stop it and it catches Cas off guard a little, if the raise of his brows is anything to go by. “No,” He relaxes the chuckle to a small smile and shakes his head. “No, that’s not really my thing. We were just at the grocery store buying some dog food.”

Cas’ eyebrows raise and an amused smile touches the corners of his lips. “You’re keeping your surprise guest?”

“Yeah,” He shrugs. “Figured it wouldn’t hurt. Hey, uh, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could buy him supplies, would you? The grocery store only had things for small dogs.”

“Gilda’s pet rescue just a little ways out of town has everything you should need for him.”

“Oh, I thought that was just a shelter. Okay, thanks.”

“Of course.”

Dean quickly tries to wrack his brain for something to say, not really wanting this conversation to end. He had a good time with Cas last night and he’d like to hang out with the man again. Even though he knows he’s going to be seeing him again this weekend for another sign language lesson, he would like to hang out with him sooner.

“If you want,” Dean starts before his brain catches up to what that he’s actually talking. “You and Jack could come over and meet him.” Cas’ eyes widen and that’s when he realizes he just invited them over. “I mean, if you’re free. Or if you even want to. You’re not allergic to dogs, are you?”

Cas’ smile melts away the nervousness in his chest. “No, neither of us are allergic to dogs.” He tilts his head down to look at his son. “Would you like to go see their new dog, Jack?”

Jack turns his attention from his conversation with Elizabeth and nods happily. “I would like that very much, thank you.”

“He’s really proper for a five year old.” Dean muses.

Cas chuckles with a small nod. “He is. The ladies in the church adore it and are always all over him.” Cas ruffles Jack’s hair affectionately making Jack laugh. “He loves the attention.”

“Gonna be quite the ladies man,” He drags his eyes from Jack back up to Cas. “Although I’m sure you don’t fare too bad yourself in that department either, especially since they apparently flock to your son like bees to honey.”

Cas’ eyes blow wide and he opens his mouth a little but nothing comes out, his cheeks getting a nice light pink to them. Dean doesn’t wait for Cas to recover and say anything, he turns to the Impala opening the back seat for Elizabeth and looks back at Cas.

“You’re both welcome to come with us to the shelter, we shouldn’t be long.”

Cas clears his throat nodding. “We’ll accompany you if you wouldn’t mind.”

“You two walk?” Cas nods and Dean turns back to Elizabeth, motioning for her to scoot over, then he looks at Jack with a smile. “Hop in.” In which, Jack gladly obeys. Once he closes the door he opens the passenger side door for Cas and motions him in. “After you.” He smiles at him and slides in and when Dean is finally in they head out to the shelter; Cas giving him directions along the way.

It doesn’t take long for them to reach the shelter. He parks in front of the building and they all make their way inside, a little bell jingling above them to announce their entrance. Gilda comes out not a minute later to greet them with a large smile on her face that only grows when she sees them.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting to see you, Castiel.” Cas gives an almost coy smile and Gilda laughs turning her attention to the kids and waves happily before turning to Dean. “Good to see you in daylight, Dean.”

“It sure is.” He laughs.

“I have the papers right here for you to sign.” She pulls up a couple papers from behind the desk and lays them flat on top of it with a pen. Dean takes the pen and reads over the papers before signing at the bottom and sliding them back to Gilda. “Congratulations, Dean. You’re now the proud owner of Mufasa.”

“Thanks, Gilda.” He turns his attention to Cas. “I’m gonna go get his supplies, I won’t be long.”

Cas nods at him telling him to take as long as he needs and Dean turns and heads for the dog supplies. As he’s walking away he hears Cas ask Gilda how Charlie is dealing with the baby coming any day now, but he is soon out of hearing range so he can’t figure out who Charlie is. He assumes he is the same Charlie that’s Cas’ friend, and apparently Gilda’s husband.

When he sees Elizabeth and Jack over by the dog collars, he changes his direction and walks over to them. He comes to a stop behind the pair and looks down at the two who are now looking back at him.

“Finding anything good?”

Elizabeth holds up collar, beaming at Dean like she just won a first place ribbon for a baking contest. Dean has to pull his lips between his teeth and bite them to stop himself from laughing. It’s a neon pink collar with the word princess in bold white letters on it.

He points at the one in her hands arching an amused brow saying, “That one?”

She nods enthusiastically but then stops and hesitates. She then shakes her head and turns back to the collar wall to put it away before pointing to one she can’t reach on the top row. He points at a couple in the direction she’s pointing and when she finally nods he takes it down. This one is red with flower designs on it.

He smiles shaking his head in amusement. He knows it really doesn’t matter what collar they get for Mufasa, he’s a dog, he doesn’t know-or care for that matter- about feminine or masculine things. So Dean lets Elizabeth pick the red flowery collar for him but he also picks a simple black one.

Once they’re done with the collar selection, they pick out the rest of the stuff they’re going to need. A harness, a dog bowl and water bowl, a retractable leash, dog shampoo, an assortment of toys, treats, and a rawhide bone.

After everything is paid for and in the trunk of the Impala, they all pile in and he drives them back to his home. They finally pull up his driveway and park in front of the building. When they get out, Cas scrutinizes their surroundings but follows Dean up the porch when he starts moving. Cas’ watchful gaze makes Dean wrack his brain to remember if he left the place acceptable for company or not, but he can’t remember so he simply hopes for the best when he swings the door open and steps in.

Mufasa is there to greet them all once again, his tail wagging happily as he stands in the foyer. His tail falls when he sees new people. Dean closes the door when everyone is inside and then stands beside Cas watching Mufasa.

“He is much bigger in person.” Cas finally says when he sees the dog.

“I told you he was a bear.” Dean says with an amused lilt to his voice as he watches Cas stare at his dog.

Mufasa walks up to them and starts to sniff them, he himself not acting threateningly, but his size alone is enough to scare off the faint of heart. Although, neither Cas nor Jack flinch when he approaches them, and when Mufasa deems them to be trustworthy he starts panting and wagging his tail again.

That little interaction alone is enough to make Dean ponder just _what_ that Rufus guy taught the dog.

He turns to Elizabeth and she looks up at him from the movement. “If you want to go play outback you can. Cas and I will be out shortly.”

Elizabeth nods and ushers Jack to the kitchen and outside, Mufasa trotting behind. When he hears the closing of the door he glances to Cas.

“You want anything to drink? Coffee? Beer? Water?” He throws the question over his shoulder while he walks into the kitchen.

 He hears Cas’ feet patting on the wood floor behind him, indicating he’s following him. “Some coffee would be nice, if it’s not too much.”

“Not a problem.” Dean gets to making a pot of coffee and Cas speaks up when the machine starts to gurgle to life.

“Your home is very quaint, it’s nice; it must be peaceful out here in the mornings.”

Dean doesn’t bother stopping his somewhat empty laugh, turning to face the man. “Yeah, the house is nice, but I’m afraid my decoration skills are fiercely lacking. My old place in New York didn’t have much space and I never bothered decorating.”

He hesitates for a moment as his mind drifts to his old apartment at Cain’s, bringing up the memories he locked away in that little studio. The floors were a nice dark hardwood and the walls were an off white color. His meager furnishings filled the space nicely and made it appear homey; he would think that too, if only he didn’t know what happened behind the closed door.

His apartment building was owned by Cain, all of his men lived in the building. It made it easy to bring interrogations into one of the studios so if anyone heard screaming then it would just be one of Cain’s men.

Unfortunately for Dean, he was Cain’s go to man when it came to torture. That meant the poor bastard he had to interrogate got brought to his tiny one room studio so he could work him over. Back then, he was the best. He never got blood anywhere and when it was over, nobody could tell what he’d just done; the space was immaculate.

Even if the tiny studio was deep cleaned, it wouldn’t be able to be rid of the taint in the walls.

Dean turns around, not able to look at Cas right now, and he busies himself with getting two mugs before speaking again. “Everything I have now is actually thanks to my brother. If it weren’t for him I would probably only have the essentials like a couch, bed, fridge, that kind of stuff.”

He pours them their drinks and hands one to Cas, still refusing to meet his eyes. Cas offers a polite thank you and Dean directs them outside to the small stone patio with a couple chairs on it and they sit. They look out at the yard and see Elizabeth and Jack playing some kind of game with sticks as swords or something and Mufasa excitedly jumping around them. He smile and sees Cas do the same before he looks back at him with attentive eyes, waiting for Dean to continue speaking.

The thing is, he would really rather not. He’s starting to get into territory that he’d rather not bring up, and he knows if he dropped it that Cas would let him but part of him wants to keep talking. He doesn’t let himself think of Sam or Jess or his life back when he was living with them in New York very often.

“All of the stuff I have now was actually all my brother’s things.” He continues again and leans back in the chair trying to ground himself and not let his mind wander too far into dangerous territory. “He gave it all to me when he passed since-” _since we were all each other had_. Is what he wanted to say, but he wouldn’t be able to get it out without his voice cracking, and Cas doesn’t want his sob story.

“This place actually wasn’t big enough for all his things though so I ended up putting a lot of it in storage.” Dean rubs the back of his neck and laughs self-deprecatingly before looking at Cas. “I probably should have just answered what you said with thanks, sorry for going off like that.”

Cas is quick to shake his head, holding his coffee in his lap, his eyes sincere when he looks into Dean’s. “You don’t have to hold yourself back on my account, I enjoyed hearing about it.”

It takes Dean a moment, and a lot of willpower, to tear his eyes from Cas’ intense, oddly sincere, gaze. He swallows past the lump in his throat and forces himself to not let his eyes waver from the kids playing in his yard, even though he can feel his eyes boring holes into the side of his head. After it’s clear Dean isn’t going to speak on the matter again, Cas speaks up.

“So how is it that you ended up keeping the dog that broke into your home, not once, but twice?”

An amused smile touches his lips when he hears the mirth in Cas’ words. “Exactly for that reason, he wasn’t gonna stop.” He turns his eyes back to him with a shrug, trying to convey nonchalance. “Figured it would be nice to actually expect the bear to be uninvitedly in my bed in the morning rather than wondering _what_ was in my bed uninvited in the morning.”

Cas laughs at his logic, but doesn’t comment on it more than a understanding hum.

“Besides,” He continues, “Elizabeth already adored him and he’s a great guard dog. His previous owner was in the military and apparently taught him a lot of stuff; hence the whole sneaking into the house without a trace.”

“You need to put up surveillance cameras to catch him in the act.”

“I should.” He laughs, but it dies when he sees someone sitting next to Cas. Sam is sitting, smiling fondly over at Elizabeth playing with Jack and Mufasa.

“You know,” His brother’s visage says so clearly that Dean is having a hard time believing he isn’t real, his eyes never leaving his daughter. “I always pictured you as the type of guy to have a yorkie that pees when it’s nervous.”

Dean is staring unabashedly wide eyed at his brother, not listening to anything around him, his sole focus is his dopey-eyed, floppy-haired little brother; the world could probably explode and he wouldn’t know it. All he can think is how much he wants to reach over and grab him, to pull him into a hug and never let him go.

Sam turns his beaming smile to him and all too fast Dean is getting pulled back into reality, hearing his name off in the distance. But he doesn’t look away from Sam’s smiling face until he dissipates like a ripple of water.

A tentative hand is on his arm and as soon as hallucination Sam disappears, Dean blinks rapidly and drops his eyes to the hand brushing his arm. His brows scrunch together trying to pull himself together when he hears Cas’ concerned voice beside him.

“Dean, are you alright?”

Forcing his gaze to move up Cas’ arm and meet his eyes was more work than Dean cares to admit, but what he sees makes his gut churn. Cas is looking at him with worry and unease, fearful that something had happened to him.

Seeing that, Dean squashes everything he was thinking or feeling about Sam and offers Cas his best smile and a small chuckle, although he’s sure he can see it’s not completely genuine. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just remembered something, it’s not important though.”

Cas obviously doesn’t buy it, damn him and his all-seeing eyes. Although perhaps he can’t blame it on his eyes and he should blame it on him being completely obvious, but he would rather not. He already blames himself for enough.

After that, Cas doesn’t mention it and simply lets Dean change the subject. They stay around later then Dean was expecting, but he doesn’t mind since they were all having a good time. The rest of the night goes smoothly enough after they leave, and overall it’s a rather nice day Dean would like to think.

 

 

The next morning is quite similar, morning coffee, sitting outside with Mufasa on the porch, breakfast, takes a much needed shower to wake himself up. Only this morning he sees Elizabeth off to the bus with Mufasa sitting on his haunches beside him, wagging his tail and his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

Once the bus is out of view Dean plans on going to work. Mufasa seems to have other plans though. He is sitting beside the Impala looking at Dean expectantly as if telling him ‘you’re not leaving me again’ and it makes Dean scoff because no dog is getting in his Baby.

He does everything he can to get him back into the house, and when all else fails, he tries picking him up. And that little shit, as if he knows what he’s doing, he fucking dropped like dead weight and Dean finds out the hard way that this dog is one heavy sonofabitch. He eventually folds.

“Fine,” Dean grumps moving around him. “You obviously know how to get inside on your own if you want in. Stay outside for all I care.”

As soon as Dean has the driver’s door open, Mufasa pushes past him and jumps inside, making himself right at home. He practically prances across the bench seat and sits down on the passenger side before panting happily again.

“Hey!” He shouts. “No! Bad dog! Get out.”

The smug little bastard doesn’t even budge.

Dean grits his teeth. “Oh you little…” He doesn’t want to risk forcefully dragging him out and him scratching up the leather, and it’s clear he isn’t planning on moving anytime soon. He grumbles under his breath not seeing another option, he gets in and shuts the door. He just hopes Bobby won’t be too mad.

Turning to face the dog, he points an angry finger at him with a menacing death glare. “You so much as scratch the leather and I will end you.”

As soon as Dean gets to work and out of the car he hears Benny’s overly amused voice from inside. “You brought him to work?”

Dean suppresses a groan but does roll his eyes. “Damn pain in the ass wouldn’t get out of my car and I didn’t want to wrestle with him and risk scratching her up with his claws.”

Bobby chooses that moment to walk up to them. “What’re you talking about, boy?”

Well, best to just get it over with, right?

They both turn to Bobby and Dean nervously rubs the back of his neck, not really wanting to piss off his new boss and possibly get in trouble. Dogs aren’t really supposed to go to work with their owners, it’s kind of an unneeded rule; they get in the way.

“My dog is in my car.” He lets it topple out of his mouth, unsure how Bobby will react and nervous for said reaction.

Mufasa chooses that exact moment to bark in the confines of Dean’s car to make himself known. He then sticks his head out the window when everything looks over at his direction and Bobby makes a disbelieving sound.

“Mufasa?” And with that, he’s walking over to Dean’s car and letting him out of the vehicle, Dean and Benny following behind him.

Dean is glancing between his dog and his boss disbelievingly. “You know him?”

“Know him?” Bobby huffs a gruff laugh while petting the extremely giddy dog. “He was here everyday with that pain in the ass Rufus.”

“So Rufus worked here?”

“Sure, if you wanna call what he did _work_. Tried gettin’ outta everything. Lazy old man, I’ll tell you that; always told me he couldn’t work on Shabbat to get outta work.” Bobby looks back at Dean slightly confused. “You say he’s yours?”

Dean nods his confirmation.

“Careful with him,” Bobby warns. “He likes to run to Rufus’ old place.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean sighs. “That’s how we met. I live there.”

“Oh,” He clearly wasn’t expecting that. His brow pinches and looks back to Mufasa muttering to himself. “I should probably update your file.” Dean and Benny both can’t hide their amusement in that, but they’re quick to correct it when he looks back at them. “Then you’ve got yourself a damn fine watchdog, son.”

 

 

Only when Dean and Benny are alone again he realizes something. If Mufasa was here everyday with Rufus, and Mufasa is only about two years old or so, that means Benny knew him. Dean slows his walking to a complete stop to turn a knowing glare on Benny. Benny, seeming to know Dean is going to chew him out, stops with him and smiles at him.

“You knew this?”

Benny shrugs with an all too smug smirk, feigning innocence. “Maybe.”

“So you know how he’s getting in my house and you’re just not telling me.” He says confidently but is shot down immediately with amusement.

“That, brother, I don’t have the pleasure of knowing.” He laughs, only making Dean’s irritation dwindle. “Though I’d love to find out.”

Dean rolls his eyes, not actually irritated with Benny but needing to keep up a preface that he is for his pride. “Why didn’t you just tell me you knew Mufasa?”

He shrugs calmly. “What would be the fun in that?”

“I bet you’re real proud of yourself for getting away with it, aren’t you?”

Benny’s only reply is a hearty laugh as he turns around and starts to head back to work.

“I bet you knew he’d try to come with me today too.”

He only laughs harder and Dean glares at his back, following him into the garage adding on, “Real mature, Benny.” But there is no malice behind the words and Benny clearly knows it because it only makes him cackle louder.

And so help him, Dean is laughing too.

 

 

The days seem to pass seamlessly after that. Both he and Elizabeth are settling beyond nicely into their new lives, Mufasa too. Elizabeth seems to be liking school, namely Cas and Jack, a lot better than before and that is enough to swell Dean’s heart with happy little butterflies.

Every morning Dean takes Mufasa to work with him as the shop’s not so little mascot. For the most part he’s really good and just sleeps on the couch in the waiting from and stays out of people’s way. He gets an occasional pet here and there from one of them or from a customer, and he’s relishing in the attention. He’s gonna get spoiled there, Dean muses.

Unfortunately though, not everything has been great. He had another hallucination of Sam one night, but he’d nearly positive he brought that one on himself by drinking too much that night. But it had been worse than the others because of the alcohol’s influence.

It’s not a few days later though, that something very … _peculiar_ happens.

It’s early in the morning; earlier than usual since he didn’t sleep at all last night and he was sick of laying in bed staring at his ceiling. He can hear the birds tweeting and chirping peacefully outside through the open kitchen window. Usually in mornings anymore Dean takes to drinking his coffee out on the front porch to simply take in the world around him and just soak it all up. He’s come to the conclusion that it’s a great way to start his days.

Although, on this particular morning he’s chosen to park his ass inside the kitchen at the dining table to nurse his coffee, half dead to the world and waiting for the caffeine to kick in and do its job. Maybe it was the fact he decided he didn’t want to move far to refill his cup, or what, he doesn’t know. He just wasn’t up to feeling crisp, damp, refreshing morning air.

He’s drug out of his half zombie state, mid-sip, when, all of a sudden, he hears a little click to indicate something is _unlocking_. Furrowing his brows, he looks towards the sound, which happened to some from the door in the kitchen that leads out back. That’s when he sees the bottom half of the barn door swing open and his eyes widen comically when he sees Mufasa trotting in, pleased with himself.

As he enters the kitchen, he sees Dean and starts wagging his tail happily but he doesn’t immediately come over and greet him. No, he turns back to the door and paws at it lightly, as if to not scratch the paint off, and closes the thing. And Dean knows that’s what Mufasa is doing because he doesn’t move away until he hears a soft click to indicate it locked.

He can’t help but blink at him in utter disbelief. A thought that maybe this is just one of his hallucinations again, but Mufasa comes over and sits beside him putting his head heavily on Dean’s knee and stares up at him with big brown eyes asking for some love.

Bewildered, not knowing what else to do, he does just that. He hesitantly brings his hand to his head and slowly strokes him. With furrowed brows and an expression of absolute confusion on his face, he looks back at the barn door and mutters, “What the fuck…”

 

 

During his lunch break at work that same day he’s talking to Benny about what he saw, but nearing the end of his explanation his phone starts ringing. Frowning, he digs it out and looks at the screen and seeing the number on the screen felt like a bucket of ice cold water washed over him. He wastes no time answering the school’s call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dean, this is Lisa.” Her voice sounds a little upset and worried and it does nothing for his tangled nerves. “I’m just calling to tell you that Elizabeth got into a fight today.”

He doesn’t even realize it but he’s on his feet and out the door heading to Bobby’s office telling Lisa he’ll be right there before hanging up. He thinks he tells Benny he’s gotta go but he isn’t sure. He just needs to tell Bobby and pray he won’t get pissed that he has to leave. As soon as he reaches the door he damn near frantically knocks on the frame since the door is open and Bobby looks up confused.

“I’m sorry, but need to leave, Elizabeth got into a fight at school and I have to go get her.”

Bobby gives him a look that’s both concerned and commanding. “Then what’re you still going here, son? Get going.”

He could fall to the floor in relief, but he doesn’t. Instead, he throws a quick thank you over his shoulder and is at the school in record time.

He thought everything was going so well. What could have happened that would cause Elizabeth to get in a fight. She couldn’t have started it, she’s too kind and polite to everyone she meets, even when they can be rude to her. She didn’t start this. She didn’t.

The moment he steps in the principal’s office and Elizabeth sees him she starts crying and signing _(I’m sorry.)_ over and over again, it rips his heart in half.

“Hey, hey,” He immediately crouches in front of her putting his hands on her shoulders and a gentle hand under her chin to make her look up at him. When she finally reaches his eyes he signs _(It’s okay.)_ which only makes her cry bigger tears.

Hearing Dean’s voice, Naomi chooses then to come out and announce her presence. “Mr. Winchester.” She says so professionally that Dean almost forgot how he left their conversation last time.

He stands, straightening himself and squaring his shoulders with a calming hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder, and looks at her. “Miss Haven.”

“Would you be so kind?” She drops the last part of her sentence in favor of gently motioning her hand into her office. In which Dean gently squeezes Elizabeth’s shoulder and enters, taking a seat to speed things along. He just wants to get back out to Elizabeth and reassure her it’s okay so she will stop crying. Naomi sits across from him in her large, over-plushed office chair and twines her fingers together, and Dean is quick to speak.

“Why was she in a fight?”

“It appears that, from what Mr. Novak told me of what he heard, that she was being picked on for being deaf. And apparently it isn’t the first time according to Elizabeth herself, though she was reluctant to admit it.”

And just like that, he’s seeing red. Who gave those privileged brats the right? He’d like to talk to them and show them a thing or two about picking on others that are different. Dare them to pick on him because he’s different, and if they wouldn’t pick on him then they have _absolutely_ no right to do it to his little girl just because she’s different, or ‘an easy target’, or to make themselves feel better, or because they think it’ll make them cool.

Now, obviously Dean wouldn’t do anything harmful to the snots, their only kids, but he’d like to teach them a lesson; that you shouldn’t bully anyone. Not for any reason. All he’d do is loom over them with a fierce look in his eyes that could, very possibly, give them nightmares, but Dean doesn’t give a shit. They hurt Elizabeth and she’s been through more than enough.

“So how’re you dealing with it so it won’t happen again?” He says, challenging her to say something that is less than adequate.

Naomi arches a brow at him, clearly unimpressed but not commenting on it for whatever reason. Whether it’s because she’s intimidated or simply used to irate parents and guardians; he figures it’s the second option considering he’s not trying to intimidate her right now.

“The kids are to write her an apology letter and hand deliver it to her while signing to her that they’re sorry.”

The urge to scoff and roll his eyes is so strong, but he refrains himself from it. These are just kids, something that simple may actually be enough to not have them do it again. Hurting a child’s pride can typically sway them from doing a certain action again.

They’re just kids, he reminds himself again.

He isn’t used to dealing with kids, so his methods of stopping behavior with those that displeased him would be _highly_ unorthodox and unethical. Hell, they’re unethical when used on adults.

“You said this wasn’t the first time, why start a fight now?”

“One of the boys pushed her and she shoved him back. Mr. Novak stepped in before anything more than a scraped knee happened.”

“On Elizabeth?” He asks, about to get up and go check on her, but Naomi raises a placating hand.

“No, on the boy who shoved her.”

He really should swell with pride at that, but the fact that it wasn’t Elizabeth who had gotten hurt, the bully got what he deserved, and she can protect herself at least a little, Dean can’t stop his pride in her. A model citizen would never be proud that their child hurt another kid, but Dean has never been a model citizen and he isn’t about to start now; nobody’s perfect, he justifies.

“She’s not in any trouble,” Naomi’s voice takes on a much softer tone than he’s expecting that it actually takes him by surprise a little. She actually sounds _kind_. Is this the same woman? She speaks up again before he can ponder it more. “But she’s pretty shaken up and should go home for the rest of the day.”

Dean nods and doesn’t hesitate to take that as a ‘you can go’, and he is standing in front of Elizabeth in seconds. He holds out his hand for her and she gladly takes it, sniffling beside him as they left. It’s not until they’re in the car does Dean turn to her with sad eyes and motions for her to pass him her notebook. She won’t be able to see his mouth with teary eyes. She hands it over without question and he writes in it before giving it back.

_D: Why didn’t you tell me you were getting bullied? You know I would have dropped everything to help you. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment._

After reading his words scrawled on the page, her tears come back full force. It’s exactly that reason that she didn’t mention anything about it. She knows Dean would have dropped everything to help her, but he can’t do anything about it and it only would have added more stress on to him that he doesn’t need; and just when he’s starting to look actually happy too. Why did this have to happen now? Now Dean is going to worry more.

She was more than okay with bearing with a little bullying since she got to come home to Dean smiling and playing with her. It made up for everything bad that happened those days.

Dean acts quickly when her tears start to fall again and he pulls her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head and holding her for a moment. When he pulls back he takes the notebook and draws a picture of an ice cream cone with a question mark beside it and she shakily nods.

He knows ice cream isn’t a cure-all solution, but he hopes that it’s enough to take away the hurt for now until she can put this behind her. He hates that he can’t stop the pain, but that’s part of life that everyone has to go through. You can’t protect your loved ones from everything, and, fuck, it hurts him to his core to admit that.

They pull up to a small little ice cream shop and steps through the threshold only to be greeted with the world’s most bubbly redhead.

“Hiya! How can I help the both of you?”

“Hi,” Dean steps up looking over their options with Elizabeth, who is rubbing at her sore and puffy eyes. He turns his attention to her when she points to the cotton candy flavored ice cream. Dean smiles rubbing her back and looks to the red head. “Two scoops of cotton candy in a bowl, please.”

“Comin’ right up!” She is quick about getting the ice cream, but she adds an extra scoop on top of the two while saying, “On the house.” and Dean suspects it’s because it’s clear Elizabeth had been crying. It’s making Dean think everyone in this town are from another planet because, seriously, nobody is this nice, and he’s in a whole town of people just like her!

When they get to the paying counter Dean thanks her for the extra scoop and the woman smiles and waves it off. He pays her for the two scoops, half tempted to pay for the third as some kind of tip, but knows it would be rejected, so instead he hands the bowl to Elizabeth and she solemnly starts spooning small bites in her mouth. He puts his hand on her head and ruffles her hair while pulling her into his side. And just as he was about to thank her and leave, she says something.

“So you’re the infamous McDreamy?”

This catches him off guard and he shoots her a confused yet surprised look. “What?”

“Oh, you know, just the fact that the town is practically vibrating with the news of some super sexy man with a daughter that looks like he could rip your head off like a gorilla but is actually super nice and sweet,” She pauses for dramatic effect as she waggles her brows. “An single.”

“Ah, uhm,” He rubs the back of his neck a little nervously. “Sorry, I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”

Charlie cackles, outright _cackles_ at him and waves her hands quickly as if to swat it away. He feels as if he should feel offended, but oddly, he doesn’t. “Oh no, no, not _me_. I’m a lesbian, I’m one hundred percent repulsed sexually by what you’ve got goin’ on downstairs, no offence.” She adds the last part as an afterthought and Dean simply mutters a quick ‘None taken’ before she continues. “I just hear things.” She bobs her head back and forth with a contemplative look before shrugging. “Like most of the town.”

She gives him an expecting look. “But it’s true? You’re a single parent?”

“I’m not-“ He sighs running a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated. I’m her uncle.”

It doesn’t take any more for Charlie to piece it together and frown slightly before she bounces back around and quickly shifts topics, which Dean is immensely thankful for.

“Well, are you liking the town?”

“It’s different,” He admits but gives her a small smile. “But it’s a nice change of pace from New York. I’m learning sign language for Elizabeth with her teacher.”

“Castiel?” She gasps, “ _You’re_ the person he went to see that night?”

“Yeah.” He can only assume she means the night at the Roadhouse, but it isn’t quite sure how she knows about it, although apparently news travels fast here.

She smiles slyly as if she knows something that he doesn’t and for a moment it’s a bit unsettling. “Castiel’s a great guy. I bet he offered to teach you for free.”

“He tried, but I at least go to pay him back with lunch.”

Her smile only widens at that and Dean takes a step back giving her a mildly concerned look before his eyes widen realizing how it sounds. “Whoa, wait, no, it’s not like that-“

Her laugh reverberates around the small room and she waves him off again. “I know, I know.” Then she gasps all of a sudden as if she just remembered she left a turkey in the oven. “Where are my manners? I’m Charlie Bradbury.”

Dean eyes widen involuntarily because _what?_ He thought Charlie was a dude! “ _You’re_ Charlie?” He says a little at war with himself with having to rethink everything he knows on this Charlie character he concocted in his mind.

Her face washes over with panic at his reaction. “Oh no, don’t tell me you already heard about that stupid thing. I swear I wasn’t trying to do anything ille-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Dean immediately holds up his hands in a placating motion to stop her from finishing that sentence, then quickly adds, “I haven’t heard anything about any stupid thing! Cas just mentioned you were the one watching his son.”

She visibly freezes and after a moment actually deflates like a balloon onto the counter, sighing in relief. “Oh, thank Moondoor.”

He hesitates before rubbing the back of his neck, half out of embarrassment for her and half out of his own amusement. The amusement doesn’t last long when she adds something else that he is _not_ expecting.

“If anyone tries telling you about Roman Inc, pull on a scary face and tell them to shut their cake hole.”

_Whoa, wait._ Dean’s eyes widen remembering what went down with Roman Inc a few years ago and how all their private files were leaked. It exposed their plans to distribute toxic injections or something like that under the faux title of a new flu shot. At first everyone thought it was a rat that exposed them from the inside since Roman Inc had some of the best security around, but it was later revealed that it was outside work.

He isn’t really sure what it was, he was too focused on avoiding Cain and getting his shit together after he got out of prison.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

She visibly relaxes at his words, but honestly, he’s nearly positive he’s put it together. He’s just met the goddess that brought Dick Roman to his fucking knees, and he’s kind of actually extremely proud of her.

But having secrets of his own that he’d rather not let get thrown around willy-nilly, he understands her hesitancy.

It’s soon after that that she wishes them an _amazing_ rest of their day, waving excitedly at, the now cheering up, Elizabeth before they’re on their way.


	5. Chapter 5

There are perks of living in such a small town as this one, Dean has concluded. It’s quiet and the people are friendly; they actually care for your well-being. Sure everyone somehow seems to know everything about everyone and what they had for breakfast that morning. And apparently if you tell Ellen you haven’t had breakfast she’ll force it on you.

He’s at work right now, under the hood of a small silver Honda, when he sees someone walk up nervously. He’s a teen, probably around eighteen if Dean’s intuition is right. He’s thin and lanky, definitely not built for fighting or manual labor and  has longer floppy black hair. The way he holds himself doesn’t scream confidence; in fact, it screams ‘anxious’ all over him.

Dean starts making his way over to the kid and he is able to see the exact moment he sees him because he damn near jumps out of his skin. His eyes are wide and his mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water but nothing comes out. He offers the kid a smile to calm him down because, _wow_ , he’s a skittish one.

He’s careful to keep the tone of his voice neutral when he asks, “Can I help you?”

“I, uh-“ He starts but is cut off by Bobby’s gruff voice coming up behind Dean and he sees the kid visibly relax.

“It’s ‘bout time you showed up, boy. Your shift started half hour ago.”

_Oh_ , Dean thinks. _He’s working here?_

“Sorry, Bobby.” He says sounding genuinely frustrated. “Ellen caught me on my way over and forced me into the diner for breakfast. I tried telling her that I was going to be late, but she told me to, uhm, tell you that, uh…”

It’s adamantly clear that he doesn’t want to repeat Ellen’s words to his new boss, especially considering those words are probably ones that will displease him, which is understandable. Bobby’s a tough looking man and if Dean hadn’t faced so many in his life he would feel at least a little intimidated by that constant glare he gives off. You’ve gotta be strong willed to stare him down, which the kid clearly isn’t.

No disrespect to the boy, but it’s true. He looks more like a book worm or some kind of nerd, which really isn’t a terrible thing. Take Sam for example, he was the biggest nerd Dean knew and he loved him for it. Sam was a bookworm and look at where he went. Fucking _Stanford_. He went places- much better places than Dean ever will, but he’s not gonna think about that right now.

Bottom line is that being a bookworm may actually be better than trying to be a jock or some ‘cool’ kid. That’s what Dean was and he ended up in prison for six years.

“She tell you to tell me that if I got a problem with it to talk to her?” The teen nods, relieved he doesn’t have to repeat the words. Bobby grumbles something under his breath but sighs rubbing his beard. “There’s no stopping that woman. Just … get to work.” And just like that, Bobby is heading back to work.

Dean watches him leave for a second before turning back to the kid. “So you’re working here now?”

He jumps a little when he hears Dean’s voice again, but looks at him and nods. “I’m working the desk.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you, I’m Dean.” He extends his hand for him to take it and the kid examines his tattoos with a curious eye while taking the offered hand and meeting his eyes.

“Likewise. I’m Kevin.” He quickly says and Dean can see himself fighting to keep himself from dropping his eyes. It was a valiant effort, but he loses the battle and his eyes drop to Dean’s tattoos again as they release each other’s hands.

He follows his gaze and quirks a lip holding an arm up a little. “You like tattoos?”

Kevin’s eyes bulge and he ashamedly gawks up at him as if he’d been caught stealing the Hope Diamond. “I-I-I- that’s not- I just- I’m sorry, I just-“ He stops himself and almost dramatically takes a breath to calm himself before speaking again. “I’ve just never seen so many in person before.” His eyes snap to Dean’s amused gaze. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, it’s just-”

Dean laughs, actually laughs and he can see Kevin freeze on the spot. He waves his tension off with a gleeful chuckle. “Don’t worry about it, really.” He calms his chuckling and grins at him jubilantly. “I have to admit, that was the most entertaining reaction I’ve ever gotten from someone caught staring at them.”

Dean shakes his head seeing the stiffness in his shoulders slowly dissipate. He turns heading back to his car, but glances over his shoulder and throws “I look forward to working with you, Kev.” which earns him an exultant smile.

It’s nearing lunch time and Dean is back under a hood for when Benny saunters over to him with an amused grin on his face. He pays him no attention though and keeps working on the car. If it’s important he’ll say something, he is not going to fall for whatever he’s playing at walking over here like the Cheshire cat.

He leans against the side of the car Dean’s working on and crosses his arms, his gaze locked on something outside the garage. “I’ve never, in all my years here, seen so many women stop by the garage all at once.”

That gets his attention. With furrowed brows he straightens and glimpses over his shoulder for a brief moment, only turning around when he sees the four women across the street ogling unabashedly at him. He waves at them and they scatter with a giggle akin to a schoolgirl’s.

Laughing, Dean turns back to the car. “Four women? That’s what you consider a lot?”

The laugh he gives Dean is full of mirth. “The rest scattered when I came over here. Those four were only a fourth of them, brother.”

Dean snaps his eyes to Benny, suddenly feeling oddly self-conscious, before hesitantly looking over his shoulder again. The expression on his face must be hilarious because it makes Benny bark a laugh.

It isn’t a secret, he knows he’s an attractive man. This isn’t the first time women have tried to flock him either because of it, but he has to admit he isn’t exactly liking it. This town is his fresh start, to start new and just be another face in the crowd. Although, as it turns out in a small town like this, he stick out like a sore thumb; everyone has made that perfectly clear.

His tattoos and his ‘bad boy’ exterior initially draw girls in, but when they found out about how kind and soft he is it hadn’t helped his case too much. Girls typically love that kind of guy. Swarm them like bees to honey. Back in New York he would have relished in the attention, knowing that he’d never see their faces again and everything would go back to how they were yesterday. That isn’t the case here. He doesn’t want this attention.

Thankfully he doesn’t have to think about it much longer because a familiar voice sounds from the entrance.

“Look’it you boys working hard, I guess it’s a good thing I brought over some pie.” Ellen smiles setting the pie down on the desk Kevin is sitting at. She turns her attention to the three working over at the cars. “Well, lunch break boys. Get over here and have some pie.”

She doesn’t have to tell Dean twice. When he gets closer to Ellen he smiles at her then glances at the pie. “This something you do often?”

“Only when I’m in a baking sort of mood.”

“Which is too damn often,” Bobby mumbles as if he’s grumpy about it, but he takes a piece of pie happily. It makes Dean smile. “She’s tryin’ a make us fatter than we already are.”

Dean shrugs as both he and Benny take a slice. “I think she’s trying to help us store up for winter,” Dean winks at Ellen making her smile warmly at him. “And I gotta say, I’m not complaining about that.”

“Give it a few months,” Benny smirks at him. “Then you’ll start lookin’ like us two and you’ll be rethinkin’ those words.”

Ellen crosses her arms and gives him a motherly glare with no malice behind it. “Nobody’s forcin’ you to eat that, boy. Want me to take it back?”

Benny turns his back to her, protecting his pie and shoving another bite in his mouth. It makes the room bubble in laughter and leads to bountiful conversation of teasing and laughter. Once everyone finishes their pie and Ellen is getting ready to leave everyone goes back to work, but she stops Dean last minutes.

“Dean.”

He turns to her. “Yeah?”

She gives a soft smile as she looks him over. “How’re you doin’, hun?”

“Doin’ fine,” He should have expected her to say something to him, to check up on him, especially when he looked in the mirror this morning and actually cringed at the bags under his eyes.

She hums giving him a squint and a disbelieving stare. She can probably tell he’s lying. Hell, anyone with eyes could probably catch the lie if they tried, or cared, enough. “You look like it too.” The tone in her voice makes it hard for him to tell if she’s being sarcastic or not, but he decides to let it slide.

The last thing he expected when he moved here was to be mothered by a nearly complete stranger. It had baffled Dean when she said that he and Elizabeth are part of their family when she had just met them. The trust and optimism she has is astonishing, and honestly a little scary.

Not scary in the sense that he is afraid of her, but _for_ her. It makes him question if she’s like that with everyone, or if she was only so kind with him in particular for whatever reason. Perhaps it was because he had Elizabeth with him. He doesn’t know, but her trust in others could get her hurt one day, and that scares him.

She puts a gentle hand on his shoulder and gives him a sad look, a look that practically screams at him that she knows what’s happening with him. But she can’t, there’s no way she could know.

The emotion in her eyes makes his brows furrow and the desire to step away, to put as much space between them as possible is so strong, but he doesn’t. He just stares back with a confused look, hoping it’s enough to derail what she thinks she knows.

She seems to get the hint that he doesn’t like her hinting at whatever it is she’s hinting at because she drops her hand with a small frown. She offers a tiny smile. “My door is always open if you need anything.” And she leaves before he has a chance to respond.

 

 

The moment Dean picks Elizabeth up from the daycare she’s telling him, very excitedly, that Jack has invited her over after school to play today. They had apparently already asked Cas about it during school and he said it was okay, so he figures it wouldn’t hurt. But it doesn’t stop him from sending Cas a quick text just making sure.

_Elizabeth just told me about Jack inviting her over today. Is it cool if I bring her over now?_

  

The response is nearly immediate and it’s just a simple affirmative, so Dean buckles her in the Impala and takes her over to Cas’ house. The front door opens as soon as he pulls into the driveway and puts her in park. Jack comes running out and Elizabeth scrambles out of the car before running away wit him around the back of the house.

Dean goes to say goodbye to her but sees her disappear around the house. He turns his attention to Cas standing in the doorway, his mouth still hanging open slight, and Cas is smiling fondly at what just happened as he walks down to Dean still sitting in the car. He rolls the window down to be able to speak to Cas.

“You could say they were excited.” Cas hums amused.

Dean scoffs a laugh and shakes his head. “I suppose so,” They remain silent for a moment, and just as Dean is about to ask when he should come pick her up, Cas look him in the eye and speaks.

“Would you like to come in?”

“Oh,” His eyes widen, not expecting Cas to offer that. “I don’t wanna in-”

“I wouldn’t have offered if it would have been an intrusion,” Cas cuts him off with a smile. “We could have a small lesson while they play, if you’d like.”

“I can’t buy us food if we have a lesson here.”

A tiny smirk plays at the corner of Cas’ mouth and his eyes dance in amusement. “I suppose you’ll just have to take me to dinner next time then.”

Is that- Is Cas flirting with him? That was definitely him flirting.

It should be a surprise to him how easily he falls back into a playful smirk that used to make women throw themselves at him. Cas’ eyes widen minutely and his pupils seem to dilate. He unbuckles and slides out of his car, making sure he’s in Cas’ personal space as he closes the door.

“Yeah,” he says with an insinuating tone that makes Cas swallow thickly. “I can do that.”

And just like that he steps away, his flirtatious side slipping away just as easily as it came up. It’s a tease, and he knows it. It could be so easy to kiss those chapped lips, and he’s positive Cas wouldn’t mind. In fact, he’s sure he would be all for it. But part of him pulls back to see what Cas will do, if he’ll take the initiative and actually kiss him or if he’ll let Dean back off.

 He can see Cas’ hands twitch towards him indicating he has the desire to touch him, or grab him, or something, _anything_. But it lasts only for a second before clenching and dropping back to his sides, and fuck if he doesn’t want him to do it. But with how he immediately grounds himself, his self control is amiable.

One of the things Dean is best at is teasing. Teasing and testing people’s limits. He knows he could make it a lot more difficult for the man, but he doesn’t want to push him. Cas seems too innocent to really push his buttons like he’s been known to do.

The rest of his visit at the Novak household is pleasant and Cas does in deed give Dean a mini sign language lesson. But what’s kind of a surprise to him, the visit goes by as if nothing had even happened between them, which, honestly, Dean supposes nothing really did happen between them. At least, nothing that involves the looming sexual tension between them that Dean is positive he isn’t the only one who feels it. He just can’t be. Especially after that moment by the Impala, it’s almost palpable. Then again, maybe he’s just projecting his feelings.

Cas doesn't seem to be affected at all, so perhaps he really is just making things up.

Overall, the visit with Cas is rather uneventful after they get inside. The one thing that is confirmed for Dean is that he definitely looks more tired than he thought. Cas had asked him if he was alright since he looks like he's about to pass out the moment he sits down.

Of course Dean reassures him he's fine.

The only other thing that happens is when Cas invites both him and Elizabeth to Jack’s birthday party on Sunday.

Once they say their goodbyes to Cas and Jack, Dean and Elizabeth get in the car and head to the diner to get some food, both of them starved.

Dean and Elizabeth walk into the Roadhouse hand in hand, but instead of heading to a booth like before, they head over to the barstools. He puts his hands under Elizabeth's armpits and hoists her up onto the top of the cushioned barstool. Once he's sure she's secure and she isn't about to topple backwards and crack her head on the hard linoleum floor, he takes the open seat to her right. There are already two menus in front of them so they take to looking them over, even though Dean knows exactly what he's getting.

It doesn't take long before a woman comes over to take their order. She's the same woman that took over for Jo the first time they came here. Tanya, right? A quick glance at her name-tag shows he's wrong. Tasha, he knew that.

Okay, so sue him, he doesn't remember everybody he's met here by name yet. He's only interacted with the waitress one other time, so it's not a huge surprise he hadn't remembered her as fast as he'd remember Jo or Ellen.

She smiles at him brightly and sets a mug down and pours him a cup of coffee, turning to put the pot back in the machine before giving them her attention and pulling out her notepad and pen.

"What can I get you both?" She says cheerily.

Dean orders a bacon cheeseburger, of course, and Elizabeth gets strawberry waffles with extra strawberries. He flashes his winning smile at Tasha when he hands her their menus. It sends the woman into a fit of giggles. She takes the menus and disappears into the back to give the cook their order.

She isn't gone long though before she's pushing her way back through the swinging door, her eyes immediately finding and locking onto Dean. She makes her way over to them smiling.

"How're the two of you liking the town?"

"It's good," Dean answers and takes a sip of his coffee. "Everyone's been nice so far."

"That's so good to hear." She opens her mouth to say something more but Elizabeth tugs on Dean's arm so he'll look at her, successfully making Tasha stop whatever she was going to say and leaving it on the tip of her tongue.

_(Milk?)_ Elizabeth signs to him.

"Oh," He turns his eyes back to Tasha. "I forgot to get her a drink. Can she get a glass of milk?"

Tasha's face lights up and her eyes widen. "Oh, of course!"

Dean looks back to Elizabeth and tousles her hair. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I didn't mean to forget."

_(It's okay.)_

Tasha is back with Elizabeth's drink before they know it, sliding it in front of Elizabeth, who takes it and gulps it down greedily. Dean chuckles fondly and shakes his head before Tasha's voice snaps his attention back to her.

"You must speak pretty good sign language, huh?"

Oh. He thins his lips and shakes his head a little sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. "Actually, no, I kinda suck at it. I only know some basics."

Her eyes widen, clearly shocked that he doesn't know sign language when he is caring for a deaf child. He feels guilty all of a sudden and feels the urge to lessen his horrible parenting skills by adding, "But that's why I'm having Cas help me out and teach me so I can learn it faster. I hate to admit it but I've never been good at self-teaching, especially when it comes to languages."

All of a sudden her face contorts into an unreadable expression and her brows furrow. "Cas?" She asks almost incredulously.

"Oh, uh," He never thought anyone wouldn't know Cas since the town is so small, but perhaps she would have no reason to know him. "Sorry. You know Castiel, the kindergarten teacher?"

Her features twitch into a false smile. "Oh, yes, I know him. He's very polite."

Dean frowns, practically seeing the 'but' in the way she practically had to force those words to pass her lips.

"Is there something wrong with him?" He asks both out of curiosity and a hint of trepidation. Surely it's nothing, Cas has been nothing but kind to them. _Please_ don't let Cas be a secret psychopath serial killer or something. Please just let him be a normal man. Please don't say he has to watch his back around him.

When she only fidgets nervously, Dean's anxiety spikes. "Not really ... it's just- I don't want you to..."

"What is it?" He wants to reach over the top of the bar and shake her until she tell him. Why isn't she just telling him?

She quickly leans over the counter and whispers, "He's gay."

Dean blinks once, then twice, waiting for the punchline, for her to laugh and say she's joking. It takes a little while for Dean to realize it isn't ever going to come.

He's baffled. Not over the fact that Cas is gay, no, but over the fact that this woman had such a difficult time letting the words so much as touch her lips. As if just thinking the word 'gay' burned her. How are there even still people like her?

Oh. Right. He forgot he isn't in the city anymore. People are far less tolerant about homosexuality here than they were in New York. Fucking awesome.

He doesn't get the change to wrap his thoughts up enough to form a coherent response, that isn't his knee jerk pissed off reaction, before she's speaking again, her voice oddly all of a sudden grating to listen to anymore.

"Cas will get close to you so he can use you, I'm just trying to help look out for you and your daughter."

As if he'd ever need her help looking out for Elizabeth.

He snaps his emotions into place behind a steel fortress and frowns at her icily. "Is there a problem with someone being gay?"

"I-" She looks him over before giving him a confused and skeptical eye. "Are you gay?"

"What if I am?"

The look of disgust that flashes across her face before she immediately hides it is downright seething. "Nevermind." She nearly spits, but is capable of actually holding that back before she turns on her heel and leaves them to take care of other customers.

Dean is pissed. It's been a long time since he's had to deal with homophobia, and fuck he never realized how much he didn't miss it.

He pulls out his wallet and slaps down a twenty to cover their bill before getting up. He may be pissed at Tasha but he isn't about to put Ellen out any money since they're making their food.

Elizabeth looks at him confused but puts her glass of milk down and climbing off the stool, knowing Dean wants to leave. He looks angry again. She immediately reaches up for his hand and he looks down at her with a brief smile and squeezes her hand then leads her back out to the car.

She hates it. She hates that she has no idea what has caused him to be so angry to leave without their food. She really wanted those strawberry waffles, and she knows Dean was probably looking forward to the bacon cheeseburger. He never lets anything come between him and his bacon cheeseburgers, so he really must be upset about whatever that 'gay' thing is.

Sometimes she wishes she wasn't little anymore so she could understand adult talk and know all the things. She wants to be able to understand so she can help Dean with whatever hurt him. She wants to be bigger because she knows Dean won't tell her anything upsetting because she's so little.

They don't go straight home. Instead, they stop at the grocery store on their way and buy frozen waffles, strawberries, whip cream, and bacon. She wishes she could be more excited, but Dean looks upset the entire time they're in the store.

It's not very often that Dean shows how upset he is over something, and that just goes to show how lost in thought he is. He's so deep he can't even control his face.

So she does the best thing she knows to do in these situations. She learned it from her dad when she was sad about something; it always made her feel better.

When they get in the car, Dean in the driver's seat and Elizabeth in the backseat, she leans forward and wraps her arms around his neck and rests her forehead against his shoulder. At first Dean tenses up from the touch since it was so sudden and unexpected, but it doesn't even take a second before he's relaxing into the touch and resting his head against her's.

She can feel his throat vibrate when he says something short, but she has no clue what he said. When a hand comes up and touches her arm she lifts her head and sees Dean twist himself to the side and smile at her.

"You ready for some awesome homemade strawberry waffles?"

She grabs her notebook and writes,

_E: They're not homemade. They're Eggo!_

Dean smiles wide and wags a finger. "They're made at home, therefore they're homemade."

Elizabeth roughly shakes her head with a toothy smile, like a wet dog ridding itself of water. He reaches over the back of his seat and tries to tickle her, but she screeches and tries to get away, which is hard to do in the confined space of the car. He eventually catches her and begins his tickle attack and she can feel his laugh vibrate in his chest when she puts her hands to his chest to push him away, laughing so hard that tears are welling on her waterline.

Once they've calmed down they head back home, Elizabeth feeling better now that she successfully put her dad's tactic to work. She's sure he would be proud of her. Dean is singing along to the music in the car, serenading Elizabeth, and even though she can't hear it it still gives her butterflies.

Back home they immediately are greeted by Mufasa, who isn't happy that Dean was able to sneak out of the house that morning without him, but still prances around them joyfully as they make their way into the kitchen.

Dean lets Mufasa out the back door to go to the bathroom and feeds him quickly before he starts on his and Elizabeth's food. It takes a few minutes to fry up the bacon and his burger, he finished Elizabeth's 'homemade' strawberry waffles before his burger is done and she happily digs in. Once his food is done, he puts it together and sits across from her at the dining table, just as Mufasa is coming back inside.

That's when Elizabeth can't contain her curiosity any longer and shoves he notebook across the table at Dean. He arches his brow, chewing a bite of his burger and reads it over.

_E: What does gay mean?_

Dean swallows past the lump that forms in his throat and runs a hand over his mouth. He can see her fidgeting a little nervously, pushing her strawberry around her plate, looking as if she is guilty about something. Perhaps she's just nervous because she has no idea what being gay is and is probably thinking it's something bad, basing it off of Dean's previous reaction anyway. He has to nip this in the bud before she gets the wrong idea. Grabbing the pencil, he writes his response and gives it back.

_D: There are two meanings to the word. One means to be happy, but this meaning isn't used nearly as much anymore. The other meaning is when two men are in a relationship._

She thins her lips into a line and writes back,

_E: What one was that girl at the restaurant using?_

Dean knew that's exactly where this was heading,

_D: She was referring to two men being in a relationship_

If Dean thought she was fidgeting last time, this time she looks downright distressed, but she's writing again before Dean can do anything about it.

_E: Is it bad? She whispered it to you like it was a bad word._

Dean frowns and shakes his head looking Elizabeth in the eye, needing her to see how serious he is about this. "No, no kiddo, it's not a bad thing," He sees her nervousness flicker out of her when the words pass his lips. "Some people just don't like people who are different."

She nods at him and stabs the strawberry she had been prodding for the last few minutes and shoves the syrup covered fruit into her mouth.

 

 

The next morning Dean is feeling as equally rested as all the nights prior. Needless to say, he's dead tried and running on fumes. Nothing new.

His talk with Elizabeth last night had put his mind in a hurricane of thoughts that he didn't want to go into. But since it was at night, he was alone and drunk, and his mind wouldn't shut up and simply _go to fucking sleep_ , he ended up accidentally getting wound in his thought's tendrils. Said tendrils have a tendency to also make Dean go down a dark rabbit hole of self-hate and sorrow, resultantly making himself only feel worse. He's just thankful that he didn't get another vision of his brother last night, he doubts it would have ended well with how that night was going.

It's around noon, Dean is bent over a car inspecting her engine and sweating profusely, it's seriously hot today, when Benny strides over and leans against the car.

"I hear you've got a thing for men now."

Dean groans out of a knee jerk reaction then sighs. "It was only last night that that happened, how did this spread already?"

Benny's laugh echoes the small shop. "Don't worry about it, brother, we all know you can't trust a word that comes from Tasha's lips."

"Yeah well," Dean shrugs wiping his hands on a towel draped over his shoulder. "It isn't entirely false." Benny arches a curious brow at him and he figures he might as well explain. "She kind of pissed me off so when she asked if I was gay I said _'what if I was?'_ "

Dean sighs. "Even if Tasha does happen to have a big mouth, how did it spread so fast?"

"You're a hot topic these days, brother. Any news about you is bound to spread like wild fire."

"Of course it is." Dean groans and Benny claps him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, it'll die down eventually."

"I sure hope so." He mutters under his breath. He isn't sure what Benny exactly meant about it'll die down, if he was talking about the rumor about him being gay or the hype about him in general. If he had to pick one, he's hoping for the second one. He is, afterall, at least half gay.

 

 

The entire ride home from the daycare, Elizabeth has looked like she's been ready to burst at the seems. Like if you would lightly poke her with a stick she would come undone and burst into tears. And the fact that she isn't looking at him so he can ask her about it is unsettling him a bit. Granted it is difficult to talk to her while driving so he should wait anyway, but he hates seeing her like this.

That's why, the moment when they get inside he turns to her and crouches in front of her with a gentle smile and hand on her shoulder. And apparently that's all it takes to make her burst. Before he can do anything about it, tears are pouring from her eyes and down rosy cheeks and she's signing something to him but he has no idea what it is. He's never cursed his lack of knowledge more than in this very moment.

"Hey, hey, kiddo, you gotta slow down, I don't know what you're saying." He puts a gentle hand on her cheek and wipes away the steady tears. "What's wrong?"

She hiccups a breath and pulls out her notebook from her backpack and writing it down. It takes a few moments because she is still crying, and when she hands him the notebook the words are scratchy and wobbly, a few wet marks from where some tears dropped onto the page.

_E: Kids were making fun of you today on the playground because they heard you are gay_

"Oh, kiddo," Dean frowns and looks up into her puffy watery eyes and replaces his hand on her cheek, setting the notebook down and cupping her face. "Sweetheart, don't listen to them, okay? They don't know what they're even laughing at, they're only laughing because everyone else is."

She bends down and grabs the notebook from the ground and quickly writes something. She most likely didn't catch a word he just said to her since her eyes are filled with tears and wasn't able to read his lips. As soon as she's done writing what she wanted, she gives it back to him and throws herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. He wraps his free arm around her and looks at the writing.

_E: I don't care if you're gay I still love you_

And just like that, Dean has his own waterworks working their way out to his waterline. He clenches his eyes shut and sets to notebook down, enveloping her in his arms securing her to his chest. He brings one hand up to the back of her head and presses his cheek to her hair before placing a long kiss there.

That night, they go out and get her another ice cream cone at Charlie's. Charlie was there like Dean expected, and again she gives Elizabeth an extra scoop of chocolate ice cream and sprinkles. But instead of leaving immediately this time, Dean decides to sit at a table with Elizabeth. In which, Charlie comes over a minute later and asks them if she can join

Charlie is surprisingly great at cheering Elizabeth up and it makes Dean so much happier that they sat down. She's doing a much better job at cheering her up than he could ever dream of. All he can do is offer her ice cream and hope it works. This visit has Charlie skyrocketing in his trustworthy people here, not to mention if she heard anything about Dean's rumor, she doesn't say a thing about it, which he is grateful for.

 

 

The next day Dean takes Elizabeth to the playground as promised last night. He is currently sitting on a bench under the shade of an old oak, watching as she runs happily through the grass and makes her way to a swing. There are a few other kids around on the other equipment, but not as many as Dean is used to from New York. There are maybe five kids here right now.

Dean sighs closing his eyes and leaning his head back and tries his damnedest to relax. He doesn't mean to beat on old horse to death, but he is exhausted. He hasn't had a good night's sleep since, well, he can't even remember. Long before Sam, but it only got worse after his brother died. He's running out of willpower and he isn't sure he's going to be able to get more.

Sam was always the one who was able to push Dean back from the brink, from when he thought he was so far gone that there was no coming back. When Dean was on the verge of giving up, Sam was always the one to pick his ass up and kick him back into gear. But now he has to do it on his own, he has to figure a way out to do this himself and he isn't sure he's going to be able to.

Dean isn't sure how long it's been when a familiar voice sounds beside him and snaps him out of his dazed thoughts and butterflies fill his stomach like he's a schoolgirl. "Is this seat taken?"

He smiles, keeping his eyes closed. "It's all yours." He waits until he feels Cas sit next to him before he opens his eyes, but he doesn't look at Cas, instead he looks out at Elizabeth and sees Jack next to her on the swings.

"I heard about the rumors," Cas says, jumping right in and not bothering to beat around the bush, which Dean can appreciate, however surprised he is to hear Cas bring it up. He glances over at the man, careful to keep his expression passive. Cas is looking at him with genuinely sad eyes. "I'm sorry you've fallen victim to Tasha's wrath."

Dean shrugs and turns his gaze back to the playground. "I'm not worried about it. I don't care what people think they know about me. The only thing I care about is Elizabeth." Dean clenches his jaw and then sighs to calm down. "And the only reason I care about that stupid rumor is because Elizabeth came home crying yesterday because the kids were making fun of me over it. It upset her that they would say those things about me when _'they don't even know what a nice person I am'_ , her words, not mine."

"It's true though," Dean furrows his brows and looks back at him, thinking that Cas is saying that the rumors are true. He's about to ask how he would know and get all defensive about it, but thankfully Cas speaks up before he can make a mistake. "That you're a nice person, that's true."

Dean scoffs shaking his head and looking away again. "You haven't known me for that long, Cas. You don't know what I've done."

He can see Cas staring at him from the corner of his eye, his gaze unwavering. "That's true," Dean hesitates before deciding to meet his eyes again, and that must have been what Cas was waiting for because he adds, "But I still think you have a kind soul." in the exact moment their eyes meet.

There is so much sincerity behind his eyes that it makes Dean want to tear his eyes away, but he can't. If Cas knew everything he's done, would he still say those things to him, or would he take them all back and run for the hills like any sane person would.

He isn't sure how to respond to that, so his body decides to take the reigns and does it for him. Heat rises to his cheeks, feeling a little flustered for reasons unbeknownst to him, or perhaps he knows and would rather not think too much about it. All he can do is pray the heat in his cheeks isn't showing as a blush, and in case it is, he drops his eyes from Cas' steadfast gaze and looks away.

 

 

The next time he sees Cas is at their sign language lesson at the Roadhouse on Friday, which goes by without a hitch and ended with another lesson next Friday. And now Dean finds himself standing in front of Cas' house, Elizabeth by his side, and a present in his hand for Jack's birthday party. It isn't long after he knocks that Cas opens the door, a smile lighting up his features when he sees the two of them.

He greets them both and directs Elizabeth out to the backyard where the other kids are playing while he takes the present from Dean and tells him he can follow her, that he'll be out after he puts the present down.

Dean does as instructed and makes it outside. The first person he sees is Lisa, who also happens to see him come outside. She smiles brightly at him and motions him to her. He goes willingly, looking around and seeing Charlie talking to Gilda and a couple other adults.

He talks with Lisa for a little while and then Cas joins them, but he unfortunately can't stay long because he has a party to run and keeps getting pulled away. But that's okay because Charlie and Gilda come to take his place. He's having a good time, and by the sounds of it, so is Elizabeth.

Charlie ends up sucking him into a conversation about Star Wars and then they somehow deviate that conversation to what characters would look the best in princess Leia's gold bikini. After that, Dean stopped being the main conversationalist and let the women talk about whatever it is they please because his eyes are tracking Cas moving through a throng of children.

The thing is, his eyes keep losing focus and he keeps zoning out, his eyes mindlessly following Cas around without really seeing him. And if Dean's eyes happen to be locked on his ass, well, nobody needs to know.

That is, unless, he's blatantly obvious about it like he apparently is being.

Charlie elbows him in the side, successfully snapping his attention from Cas to her, and she suggestively waggles her brows at him and is accompanied by a knowing smile. Dean rubs his eyes and hides a yawn before Charlie starts to laugh.

"What're you laughing at?" Dean gibes lightheartedly.

"You were so locked on to that ass you didn't even see the man in the giant gorilla suite walk by."

Dean's eyes widen and he straightens up looking around. "What?"

That sends all three women into hysterics and Charlie is doubled over and wheezing, struggling for breath. Their joined laughter is loud enough that it draws the attention of, well, everyone, but thankfully- or not so thankfully depending on how you look at it- Cas is the only one who walks over to the group of gaggling women.

Dean can see the small smile on Cas' lips and the amusement in his eyes even though he has no idea what happened. He stops next to Dean and stares at the women.

"I'm assuming they're laughing at your expense."

"Your assumption would be correct." Dean rolls his head trying to wake himself up a little as he smiles at Cas. "I wasn't paying attention and Charlie tricked me." Dean shares a small chuckle with them before asking, "Hey, is it okay if I use your bathroom?"

"Of course," Cas' eyes roam over his face and his smile falters a little and he opens his mouth to say something, but Charlie beats him to speaking.

"Aw, Dean, don't leave. If this is about what I just said and it upset you-"

"No, it's not that. No, that," Dean chuckles a little again, "That was actually pretty good. I just have to go, I'll be back."

They all seem to accept that answer because they let him go without further complaint, although he only gets a few steps before he feels a tentative hand on his elbow stopping him. He looks back and sees Cas giving him a worried stare.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, 'm fine, really. Charlie didn't upset me."

Cas shakes his head a little. "No, not that," His head tilts to the side, eyes squinting and examining his features seriously. "You look like ... a little out of it."

"Oh," He shrugs looking back to the house. "It's nothing, just a little tired is all."

Cas keeps looking at him for a few seconds after that but ultimately ends up conceding and letting him go without further complaint.

When Dean finds the bathroom he leans over the sink and splashes water on his face, hoping it'll be enough to wake him up. But alas, it does jack shit. Wait no, that's a lie, it did do something. It got him wet and looking worse than he already did. Awesome. Why do people in the movies always splash water on their face?

Straightening up he looks himself in the mirror and nearly flinches at the begs under his eyes. Fuck, he looks like he's a heroin addict again.

Trying not to spend too much longer in an attempt to pull himself together and look decent, he heads back out to enjoy the rest of the party. He and Cas end up sitting on the back porch with a couple of sodas and they watch the kids ruthlessly beat on the colorful pony pinata like the little rapscallions that they are. Elizabeth is laughing gleefully with Jack bouncing around next to her and everything considered, this is a nice day.

 

 

It happens the moment Kevin takes a five minute break to use the restroom. Nobody is manning the desk so everyone has to keep an eye and ear out for anyone that might come in. And of course it happens, but Dean obviously doesn't mind, it's his job. Not to mention he's actually kind of happy to see the man walking up to the desk.

"Welcome to my domain," Dean quickly greets before either Bobby or Benny come for him or before Kevin comes back. He catches Cas' eye and smirks at him, holding his hands out in a here-I-am gesture. "What can I do you for, Mr. Novak?"

He flashes him his award winning flirtatious smile that causes Cas' eyes to widen for a fraction of a second. It's gone in a flash though and he, almost shyly, smiles back.

"I need my oil changed."

"Your oil?" Dean says with a teasing smirk and squint of the eye. "I think you're in the wrong place if it's for you, I usually work on machines but I can sure lend a hand or two."

Aaaand ... there's the blush Dean is looking for.

"For my car." Cas hastily supplies. "My car needs its oil changed."

"Aw," Dean tsks and shakes his head. "You got me excited there for a sec, Cas. Thought I was gonna get to change your oil."

Cas' cheeks darken another shade and he gives him a glare that could chill an elephant, if only there were any real malice behind his eyes. But there isn't, and it only makes Dean flash him another cheeky smile.

"This ain't no rom-com, boy!" Bobby's voice shouts from the office, snapping Dean out of his smug attitude. "Stop flirtin' and change the damn oil!"

Oh how the tables have turned. Dean can feel his cheeks heating up a little knowing Bobby, Benny, and Kevin can all hear him. Now it's Cas' turn to smile deviously at him, now that he's gotten his karma for Dean embarrassing him.

Dean clears his throat and holds his hand out for Cas' keys saying, "Lets go look at what you've got then." and they go out through the open garage door when he gets them.

When they get out to the car Dean glances back at Cas to see if he followed him, he did, but he has to do a double take because Cas looks like he's fidgeting. Like, full on hand wringing and lip chewing fidgeting. It's both cute and worrying. So instead of getting right to work, he turns to Cas and arches a brow at him.

"You okay there, Cas?"

Cas sighs, running a hand over his mouth and chin before he meets Dean's inquisitive gaze. "Am I the only one that feels something between us, or am I making it up because I know I saw ... _something_ the other day when you brought Elizabeth over to play."

Dean opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He was expecting anything _but_ this conversation, so it caught him off guard and he momentarily has no idea what to say. His lack of words prompts Cas to continue talking.

"At least I thought I saw something, you stopped as soon as you started and I-" Cas sighs again clearly feeling anxious about Dean's answer and putting himself out there so fully. "I questioned if you had actually been flirting back."

Dean huffs a tiny laugh, still surprised Cas is actually bringing this conversation up. He doesn't know why he's so surprised by it, he guesses he simply didn't think Cas was actually interested in him like that.

"I, uh," He starts but hesitates for a moment as a smile reappears on his lips. "Yeah I was flirting back."

A small smile quirks at the corners of Cas' lips but then he's giving him his signature look. The one with squinted eyes, creased brows, and a slight tilt to his head that makes the grown man look too fucking adorable.

"Does that mean you're interested in going out on a date?"

"Uh," Dean isn't sure if this is Cas asking him out now, or if he's confused as to why Dean hadn't just asked him out himself. "Yeah, it would."

"Why didn't you ask me?"

Dean smirks at him and arches an amused brow. "Hey, that street goes both ways."

"Yes, but I didn't ask because I didn't want to come on too strong. You had just moved in and were getting settled, it wouldn't have felt right to ask you before you were settled in."

"Well," Dean drawls and leans his butt on Cas' cas, staring into his now much more confident gaze. "I'm settled now."

Cas gives him another small smile. "In that case, will you be free Saturday night?"

A slow, dopey, lopsided grin making its way onto Dean's face and he draws the moment out for a second before finally speaking up. "I think I can clear my schedule. I'm a busy man, y'know?"

"Well then, aren't I a lucky man that someone as busy as yourself would clear their schedule for me.

"Boy," Bobby's snaps. "What'd I say?!"

Dean jolts off the car as if it had electrocuted him. His eyes widen and he turns around to get back to work. "I'm on it!"

There's a soft chuckle from Cas behind him and Dean meets his sparkling eyes before dropping his gaze and grinning like a fool, getting ready to change the car's oil.


	6. Chapter 6

When Dean had told Elizabeth that he's going on a date with Cas, and explained _what_ a date is, she had squealed in delight. Apparently, the thought of having Cas as a dad had excited her, but Dean quickly nipped that idea in the butt. She was really jumping the gun and he didn't want her to get disappointed if things don't work out with Cas.

When Saturday came around, Elizabeth practically begged him to let her help him pick out his. Of course, Dean conceded. He even let her have a little montage that she insisted they record and make just like the movies. Dean, of course, allowed this as well. Even if he'll regret it in the future.

If Dean were being honest, though, he actually had a really good time making the footage with her. It'll be a good memory to look back on when he's old.

Outfit finally picked out, which is admittedly not all that bad for having a five-year-old as your fashionista, they both head out. Charlie had graciously accepted to watch both Elizabeth and Jack so Dean and Cas could _'get their freak on'_. Her words, not his.

He pulls into Cas' driveway a few minutes later. Elizabeth eagerly shoots out the door, only hesitating for a second to wave bye to Dean before charging up to the opening front door. Cas appears in its place, quickly looking down just in time to see Elizabeth bouncing in front of him. He smiles down at her and steps aside signing something to her and she runs in.

Cas laughs and turns to look back out at the Impala. Dean has the window rolled down, his elbow sticking out as he leans a little out of the window so Cas can see him smiling at him.

"Lookin' good, Mr. Novak." Dean sends a wink and it makes Cas smile bigger and make his way to the passenger side, sliding in and looking Dean over.

"You're looking quite good yourself, Dean."

"Oh good, Elizabeth will be thrilled." Dean smirks and throws her in reverse. "She helped me pick out my outfit. We had a montage and everything." Dean pauses for a second before adding, "Well, actually we just filmed me getting changed and coming out of the closet an ungodly amount of times." Dean gives Cas an amused grin, looking over at him to see his eyes lighting up with mirth.

"Now, of course, I'm going to have to figure out how to tame a video editing software to make it a proper montage _'like the movies.'_ "

Cas tilts his head back in a lighthearted laugh before dropping his chin to his chest and looking back to Dean. "You know, if you don't know how to work software like that, and you wouldn't mind somebody else seeing your montage,"

"Are you offering to edit my montage, Cas?" Dean cuts him off and gives him a teasing smirk.

"No," Cas chuckles shaking his head. "I'm afraid I'm awful with technology. Charlie, on the other hand, is amazing and I'm sure she would be more than willing to give you a hand."

Dean hesitates and actually thinks it over. He is god awful with any kind of computer editing software, and he really does want this to be nice for Elizabeth. But then again, he'd have to willingly hand over a video of him fucking around and acting like a total dad to Charlie.

"She's good with computers?" Dean asks tentatively.

"Very. Her and Ash run a small computer club in the library for the kids after school."

"If I give her the video I'm not gonna wake up the next morning to it being projected out in the middle of the town on the side of building, am I?"

Cas laughs wholeheartedly at the thought but is shaking his head. "No, she is very professional. She takes a certain pride in her work." Cas gives him a teasing smirk adding, "She wouldn't let anyone see it until _after_ it was prettied up."

"Oh, well in that case," Dean rolls his eyes and laughs. "If I give it to you can you get it to her?"

"Of course," He reassures him.

There's a lull in the conversation but thankfully it doesn't feel awkward between them. Neither of them feeling forced to need to pick up the slack. Eventually Cas does speak up though as their nearing the destination Cas told him to go to.

"You know, we seem to be doing this backwards." Cas muses staring straight ahead.

"What do you mean?" Dean arches a brow and pulls into the Roadhouse.

Cas looks at Dean smiling softly. "I was the one who asked you out. In dating terms that typically means that I should be the one who is driving us to our destination."

"Maybe," Dean chuckles. "But think of the plus side, you get to enjoy a ride in my Baby." He rubs her wheel fondly and shoots a grin at Cas. "I mean, have you heard her purr?"

"Yes, she sounds very nice." Cas humors him and they get out and head into the diner.

To Dean's surprise, nobody is in here. If it weren't for the open sign, the soft music, and the candlestick burning in the center of a booth, Dean would think the place was closed or something. Cas steps over to the booth with the burning candlestick and motions for Dean to take his seat, which he gladly does as he takes in the decor.

"I hope you don't mind me being a little old fashioned and maybe even cliché," Cas says looking a little nervous.

This is one of the things Dean would take to his grave with him. He doesn't like advirtising it, but he's relishing in the fact that Cas likes the cliché romantic tropes. Dean had always wanted to try them. Although, whenever he tried to do them for his one night stands, they all laughed and told him he didn't have to do this for them. Said it was tacky.

He had played it off cool as if he was only doing it for them, of course, not wanting to admit to actually wanting to try it. Men weren't supposed to like things so girlie, hence why he's hidden his little panty kink for so long.

"No," Dean meets his eyes. "I don't mind it."

Cas sighs in relief, a relaxed smile replacing the tense one he was holding. "I must admit, though, this wasn't all my doing. Once I asked Charlie to watch both Elizabeth and Jack for the night, she had asked me teasingly if it was a date. Of course, I truthfully replied."

"So in which case," Dean supplies, deciding to take a wild guess. "Charlie freaked and told Jo or Ellen and they pulled the strings and closed the Roadhouse for us?"

Cas nods a little sheepishly. "Yes, Jo and Ellen were both very stubborn about their plan."

The smile Dean is sporting only grows when he hears what went down. Cas was probably worried Dean would absolutely hate the whole cliché romantic dinner thing. Especially with Ellen actually closing the Roadhouse for the night. Which, she must really love Cas do something like that, or she just really wants for them to work out. Probably both.

Before Dean gets to say anything more, Jo walks out in a fancy outfit. She reminds him of a waiter from some high end restaurant. The ones with the towels draped over their one arm and a silver plate in their other hand, only holding it up with their fingertips. The only thing she's missing is the plate.

"Good evening, gentlemen. I will be your waitress this evening." She pulls out two menus from behind her and hands them to them both.

Dean takes it and arches a brow. He wants, so badly, to try and make her break her character. But would it upset Cas if he did seeing this whole thing was his planning. Or was this all part of Ellen and Jo's plan? He decides to go for it and apologies if it upsets Cas.

"Jo," He smirks up at her and arches a teasing brow. "Tell me you didn't have these stored in your pants. I didn't see you carrying these out and there's no table behind you."

Jo looks at him with a calm that is marginally wavering if the twitch of her lips is anything to go by. "I did, in fact, good sir. They kept trying to fall out and I had to waddle here."

That earns a laugh from not only Dean, but Cas as well. It lifts a weight from Dean's shoulders hearing his laugh, knowing he's not upset by Dean ruining the mood. The glee sparkling in Cas' eyes showing that he's actually more than okay with what Dean is doing.

"What drink would you both like?" Jo asks, back to her professional form.

Dean and Cas give her their drink orders and shes off, leaving them to look over their menus. The menus are different from the usual Roadhouse ones, they have different foods on them. When Dean asks Cas if they made a new menu for this date, Cas nods and tells him not to feel bad though. Ellen wanted to make the new menu and was apparently super excited to do everything. So Dean does his best to not feel guilty.

Once they are both settled with their order, Jo comes back and they tell her what it is they want and disappears to put in their orders. Dean turns his attention back to Cas. His eyes drop to Cas' lips without him meaning to. He opens his mouth to say something looks away quickly, but then his brain registers something he saw. He furrows his brows and squints his eyes back at Cas' lips, leaning in a little more to get a better view. Is that...

"You had piercings?" He voices his thoughts.

Cas' eyes widen for a second before he laughs and, almost self-consciously, rubs a thumb over the hole where a lip ring would go. "It's been so long, I forgot that the holes are there sometimes."

"Holes?" Dean arches a brow. "As in more than one?"

"Yes, Dean," Cas smiles at him with a teasing glint in his eyes, "That is how plurals work."

Dean leans back and laughs, not expecting Cas to make a joke of it.

"There was a time that I went through a ... stage in my life where I was a little rebellious."

"A little?" Dean smirks.

"Depends on who you ask," He smirks back. "If you ask my father, I was wayward and completely out of control. My one uncle said I was simply trying to find myself and every kid goes through this stage. My other uncle tried to reassure my father that at least I wasn't partying with pornstars."

"What all did you do? I can't picture you being so bad as to be labeled as a wild child."

"Well, it started with me smoking. I then started skipping school. I wanted to dye my hair blue, and I initially asked my father if I could, just to be polite. But when he said absolutely not I had skipped school to dye it with my friend, Meg. Who, looking back, was a big influence on my actions. Although she is a nice woman.

When I walked into the house that night my father was less than pleased. Especially since he was having a meeting with the family and some co-workers. It also probably didn't help that I walked in particularly wasted and reeking of marijuana."

"You little rebel." Dean ribs him playfully. "Never pegged you as someone who'd smoked pot before, you truly are full of surprises."

"Yes, well, I never got a tattoo."

"What?" Dean asks incredulously. "No." Cas shakes his head, amused by Dean's reaction. "Oh, come on! There's no way you were some wild child and hadn't gotten a tattoo. Not even one of those tiny crosses or an infinity symbol or whatever kids always seem to want to get?"

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm a blank slate."

"Huh," Dean hums and lets his eyes roam over what he can see of Cas before rolling up to meet his eyes again. "That's a real shame, I'm sure you'd look good with one."

"It isn't that I don't like them, I find yours to be very attractive."

Dean waggles his brows playfully. "Thanks," Then drops his eyes to his exposed arms and looks at the tattoos scattered across his skin. "99 percent of them have a story or meaning behind them. They're my story written on me." Dean hums in amusement and looks up to meet Cas' attentive gaze. "All besides the playboy bunny on my ass."

Amusement sparks though Cas' eyes and his lips twitch up. "You have a playboy bunny on your butt?"

"Forever and always." Dean rubs a hand over his face with a wry chuckle. "It was a long night, I was drunk and I was being called out saying that I wouldn't go through with it. I obviously did it, but in the end I still lost because now I have a fucking playboy bunny right on my ass." Dean thins his lips shaking his head. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

Cas leans forward on his elbows with a fond look dancing across his features. "I'm glad you are, I like hearing about it. Even if it is about a tattoo of a playboy bunny on your butt."

Dean rolls his eyes and leans back casually. "Enough about my butt bunny. What about your family, do they not like tattoos or did you not get one because that wouldn't have bothered them?"

"My father entire family have tattoos, actually. It isn't a surprise that my father and uncle do though, they're tattoo artists."

"No way, really?"

"Yes, they even work together."

Dean's brain grinds to a halt. Wait, what? Wait ... wait one second. This is just a coincidence, right? Three uncles. Two of which are tattoo artists that work together. It has to be a coincidence. "What's ... uh, your other uncle do?"

"He's a chef; he owns a five star restaurant in New York City."

Dean blinks a few times at him before nodding and putting all the pieces together. Okay, this is okay. "So, what you're telling me is that your uncles are Gabriel, Luke and Michael Krushnic?"

Cas' eyes widen momentarily and a little panic flashes across his face for a split second before it's gone, making Dean question if he saw it. "Technically my uncles are Luke and Gabriel. Michael is my father- you know them?"

Dean runs a hand down over his face and huffs out a shocked humorless laugh. "Something like that."

Dean's brain is whirling at the new information that Cas had just given him. His father is Michael Krushnic, the oldest brother, and now leader of the Krushnic family. That only means one thing. Cas knows what his family does. Of course he does, right? That is the only possible outcome of this. And that all leads to the big question, does Cas know what Dean is? Does he know what he's done and that he's worked for Cain?

Also, was Cas part of their family business? It would only make sense seeing as he is their family. But that also makes Dean question why he's been here for five years and why he changed his last name to Novak. Granted the last name thing makes enough sense if he's on the run or trying to blend in. Everyone has at least heard of the name Krushnic. The last question Dean is going to let himself focus on right now, though, is Cas on the run from his own family?

He rips himself from his thoughts, not wanting to let Cas on to the fact that he may actually be a little freaked out by this whole thing.

"I mean," He starts, offering a small smile. "They were the ones who did most of my tattoos."

Cas seems to visibly relax at that. Okay, so no more family talk. Once he pulls himself together he does everything in his power to make the rest of the night as fun as it can be. He even eventually gets Jo to break character, which caused an uproar of laughter and Jo chewing him out good-naturedly.

After he drops Cas off at his house and picks up Elizabeth, he's dragged into telling Elizabeth how everything went. She was thrilled that Cas loved his outfit and went to bed bouncing with Mufasa in tow.

 

 

A few days later he is walking to the post office to pick up a part for a car while along the way he happens to see the diner is closed. Now, unless Ellen is closed for someone else going on a date, she shouldn't be closed. Maybe something happened to her?

That thought has Dean crossing the street a little anxiously as soon as it popped into his head.

When he pushes through the door slowly, the bell jingles above his head to signify a customer. He hears quiet mutters coming from the kitchen and the clanking of tools being set down.

"Sorry, we're closed today." Ellen's voice comes through the open window that leads to the kitchen sounding more than a little stressed.

"I know," Dean says albeit a little hesitantly. "I saw the sign, I was just wondering if everything was alright." Ellen and Jo look through the window from the kitchen.

Ellen smiles at him. "Dean, what're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"I was on my way to pick of a part at the post office and saw you were closed. You guys okay? Need help with something?"

Ellen is quick to say there's no need, but Jo has other plans and quickly speaks over her mother. "It's the grill and the oven, they stopped working and we can't figure out why." Ellen shoots her daughter a glare but she ignores it.

"You mind if I come take a look? I'm not an expert in fixing kitchen equipment, but I know a thing or two about machines."

"Come on back." Jo says waving him back. When he steps through the door he quickly starts his examination, not wanting to waste time.

"Do you have any clues to what it could be?"

"I think it's the igniter." Jo supplies.

Dean looks it over and tests a few things finding out that it is, indeed, a faulty igniter. That's an easy enough fix and he tells them so, as for the grill, all it needs are some new burners. Again, easy fix. He tells them that if they order the part that he would be more than happy to install them for them.

"I could just kiss you, Dean." Ellen says pulling him into a hug.

Dean chuckles and gives a small hug back before Ellen pulls away. "It's nothing, really."

"Don't be modest, boy. I was gonna have to call someone to come look at it and that's not where I want to be throwing money right now. I'll pay you for installing them for us once the parts come in too, so don't worry about that."

"No," Dean is quick to throw out. "I'm not doing this for money, it's the least I can do as thanks for what you did for Cas and I the other day."

"Well then at least let me give you a couple of free meals then and we can call it even."

"That wouldn't make it even," Dean smirks and Jo laughs out loud making them turn to her.

"Man," Jo playfully punches his shoulder. "You're fitting right in around here, haggling about doing stuff for free. You're a changed man, Winchester."

 

 

One evening a week later when Dean gets home from work, he and Elizabeth decide to take Mufasa out for a walk. He puts his harness and leash on him while Elizabeth picks out a toy to bring with them. Mufasa is beyond excited, sniffing everything in sight as they walk down the road in the direction of town.

Their walk into town is mainly surrounded by the forest. But the trees offer them a cool shade and Dean much prefers that than the heat that the sun is giving off today. Although, it isn't long before they break out of the shade and start their way into town. Instead of going into town though, Dean turns them in another direction and they follow a dirt path.

Elizabeth is skipping alongside Dean, hopping and dancing around. Sometimes she'll run up in front of Mufasa and skip in front of him. Of course, that makes Mufasa pull and tug at his leash so he can catch up to her but there's no way Dean is running in this heat.

There are a few people who pass by them on this path and they all smile and wave at them. One couple with a child asks if their daughter could pet Mufasa, in which Dean happily let them after seeing Mufasa wagging his tail and looking up at the baby with the grabby hands.

Once they're on their way again, it doesn't take long to reach the small lake. There is a large oak tree a little ways from the water that he guides them over to. He tells Elizabeth that she can play with Mufasa and he'll be right here watching. It doesn't take any more prompting for her to unleash him and sprint off with his tug-o-war rope, Mufasa hot on her heels.

If someone were to ask Dean a year ago where he pictured his life to lead, he probably would have answered with a less than desirable answer. Granted, this life is only so picturesque because of a horrible accident. But nevertheless, Dean is still reeling at the fact that he's here at all, sitting under a tree, enjoying the evening sun, watching his little brother's kid play with their dog next to a glistening lake, birds singing above them in the trees and a light breeze gliding past them.

And the thing is, he can't help but picture Cas sitting next to him under this tree, smiling as he watches Jack play with Elizabeth and Mufasa. Never has he ever let himself dream of having an apple pie life, but here they are, wedging their way into his subconscious and making his chest swell.

Of course, not everything can be perfect as this moment right now. Ever since he's found out that Cas is a Krushnic, he's had a lot to think about. He has also been more on guard around him. He has to be careful with what he says and does. At least, until he knows for certain nothing bad is going to happen with him being in one of the biggest crime families in New York. Other than that, Dean and Cas are good.

They ended up going on another date last Saturday again and it went good. Great, actually. The both of them had big goofy smiles on their faces nearly the entire night, so much so that their cheeks still hurt in the morning.

Although, Dean can't help but feel a little hesitant to be dating Cas like this. Cas knows very little about Dean's past. And sure, that may be the point of dating people, to get to know them, but Dean's past isn't something you should bring up on a date ... or at all if it can be helped. And throwing Cas' family title on top of it is making Dean that much more hesitant to say even a drop about it.

What if he tells him about what he's done for Cain and Cas tells his family and they come after him after finding out he's the Reaper.

But that also leads to a question as to why his last name is Novak. Is he, perhaps, running from his own family? If so, would he tell his family if he found out who Dean was?

_I should tell him before we get too serious, right? I mean, the third date is a big thing, isn't it?_ Dean sighs rubbing his face roughly. He has no idea how the dating world works, he's never done this before. He doesn't know how to confidently navigate through dating waters as well as he can one night stands.

He really shouldn't do this, he's only going to end up hurting Cas. But ... why can't he have this one nice thing? (Aside from Elizabeth, of course.)

Why? Because it isn't fair to Cas, that's why.

God, what is he getting himself into?

They've been dating for about two weeks now and he can tell Cas is interested in him. The way he will sometimes catch how Cas looks at him, it makes his feel like a schoolgirl with all the butterflies in his stomach. When he catches those looks, he often smiles back at him and winks. It always gets an adorable blush on Cas' cheeks.

Fuck, Cas is too nice of a man to like someone like Dean. He needs to tell him about what he's done before either of them get too deep into this, it's only fair.

But the thought of losing Cas, one of the few good things he has, because he can't look at Dean anymore after telling him what he's done, the thought twists his stomach and makes him feel sick. He doesn't want to lose this happy feeling when he thinks of Cas.

Elizabeth runs over to him with Mufasa, snapping him out of his thoughts and she is flushed and sweating. She huffs and plops down between Dean's legs. She rests herself back against him, Mufasa laying his head on Dean's leg. He takes the hair-tie from its place on his wrist and holds it between his lips as he starts to pull her hair up so it's off her neck. Once her hair is up and out of the way, he sighs and leans back against the tree and closes his eyes.

He really doesn't want to think it, but it would hurt significantly less to lose Cas now rather than later because he never told him of his past. It could bite him in the ass if Cas finds out and just can't handle it, or he's afraid that Dean's past could get his son hurt.

Dean nods and steels himself. He'll tell him on their next date.

 

 

It's a few days out till Saturday and his third date with Cas. The date that he is going to tell Cas about his past and most likely screw up everything that he's forged with him so far. It'll truly be following his Winchester way.

Of course, thinking about his and Cas' inevitable demise isn't one of the most uplifting emotional kick starters. So it's needless to say he's in a rather shitty mood. It's a good thing it's night though so his foul mood doesn't cause Elizabeth to worry about him. No, now he gets to stew in his own depressing thoughts alone. Which is honestly for the best; he doesn't need to go bringing anyone else down with him.

It really shouldn't have surprised him when he looks over while he's laying on his bed, mindlessly attempting sleep, and failing, when he sees his brother sitting at the foot of the bed. His whole body freezes and he stops breathing for a moment even before realizing what he's doing and shakes his head to get himself back into reality.

He's not real. He's not real. He's _not_ real.

"Maybe." Sam's voice says from the foot of his bed that makes Dean open his eyes wide and stare at the ceiling in confusion. He knows he didn't say those words out loud, so how did he-

"How did he know what I was thinking?" Sam says, successfully cutting off Dean's train of thoughts. Dean's wide eyes slowly drag over the ceiling and the bare walls to land on his moose of a brother still perched on the edge of his bed.

Sam then taps his own head. "I'm in here." He then thinks better of what he said and waves a hand reaching over to Dean saying, "Well," he taps his brother's head and Dean flinches because, _holy fuck_ , that actually just felt like someone had just touched him. "I'm in here."

Dean collects himself from his stupor and gives his little brother, his _hallucination_ of a little brother an unamused and so done with his shit glare. "Why?"

Sam shrugs standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. "Maybe you're going crazy," He rolls he head on his shoulders. "You know, finally snapped. Craving coo-coo for cocoa puffs. A total grade A nut job." Sam looks over at him unsympathetically and so uncharacteristically not his little brother that he knows and loves.

"You're like a loose cannon on a hair trigger." Sam shrugs again and gives him a sturgeon face, not even looking surprised in the slightest that his brother so obviously finally snapped. "Don't feel bad about it though, it was bound to happen to you eventually. I mean, look at you." Sam whistles exaggeratedly long to prove his point. "Have you looked in a mirror recently? You look more dead than I do." Sam rocks back and forth on his heels looking like a bored overgrown child. "And that's kinda hard to do, you know," Sam purses his lips to the side, shrugging, _again_ , "Since I was burned alive."

"You don't think I don't know that, Sammy?" Dean snaps and roars at him irritatedly, but Sam doesn't even look bothered by the outburst. "Jesus, Sam, why're you being such a dick right now, this isn't like you."

"Well, no, it isn't." Again with the fucking shrug. "I'm you, essentially, so I can only mimic your current mood or thoughts when you decide to dream me up to keep you company."

All of a sudden he pulls a tennis ball out of thin air and starts throwing it against the wall, it hits the floor and he catches it before doing it again. And Dean can _hear_ the ball bouncing like it's right inside his skill.

"God, Sam, stop that, would you?"

Sam looks at him with the most falsely innocent look he ever mustered. "What?" He throws the ball at the wall again while keeping direct eye contact with Dean. "This?"

"Argh! Yes, _that_! It's driving me insane."

Sam laughs hysterically for a moment, throwing his body back before shaking his head and continuing his bouncing. "You were there ages ago, Dean, don't kid yourself."

"Oh, fuck off."

"Wish I could," Sam says matter of factly with an icy undertone. "You just won't let me die."

Dean jolts all the way in his very core and flinches at the implications hiding away in Sam's icy words. "What the fuck are you talking about, Sam?"

"I'm saying," Sam sighs loudly with an exasperated eye roll. "You won't fucking let me go. I can't rest in peace with your lonely ass clogging the exit to my only alleged _peace,_ Dean. Fuck, even in death I can't escape you, even if I wanted to I can't, so why don't _you_ fuck off already."

"What the fuck, Sam?"

"God, _again_ with the 'fuck', Dean, really? You use that language around my daughter that I left in your care?"

Dean snaps his mouth shut, his retort dying on the tip of his tongue until he gets pissed again and growls, "You're saying it too, bitch."

"We’ve covered this, Dean. I'm you, so you only have yourself to blame. Must suck not being able to pin anything on me anymore since you got me killed, doesn't it?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Why? Can't handle the truth?" Sam smiles wickedly. "I bet you anything that Elizabeth doesn't know how you were the cause for my death. For her to lose her one and only father."

Dean grabs his alarm clock and chucks it at Sam. "I said, shut up!" Sam ripples when the clock connects with him and then he slowly dissipates. The clock hits the wall and shatters into pieces.

That’s when the world around Dean collapses into darkness and Dean jolts awake, gasping for breath. It’s still dark outside. He’s still in his room. He looks around frantically. That … was a dream?

“Fuck.” Dean breathes out and looks to where Sam was standing in his dream. Laying there on the floor is his alarm clock. Fuck, he actually threw it in his sleep. With a groan, Dean flops back onto his bed. He doesn't give a shit, he's too exhausted to even try and clean up the mess. He'll get it another day. Eventually. Probably. Maybe.

 

 

Their third date snuck up on Dean faster than he thought it would seeing how the days seemed to drag on forever. Especially with the fact that Dean was both simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the date. Excited because it's Cas and they're going bowling and he has only ever been bowling once in his life. And dreading it because he has to find the opportune moment to ruin the whole evening.

When Dean picks up Cas, he has to readjust himself in his pants because, shit, he is looking _fine_. Not to mention that those pants are tight in all the right places, and it seems like Cas _knows_ it too.

They arrive at the bowling alley in a half an hour, it's only a little ways out of town, and are now currently sitting inside with a pizza and couple of beers. They talk as they eat, but it isn't a good time to bring up his past because that would set a horrible mood for the remainder of the evening and-

Oh God...

Cas is walking up to the lane to bowl and Dean isn't ashamed in the least to say Cas has _the_ finest ass. He doesn't even feel bad for staring because he's pretty sure Cas is counting on Dean checking him out. And the knowing smile he shoots Dean when he turns and catches him staring is doing things to Dean.

So maybe it's been a while since he's had sex. That doesn't change the fact that Cas is attractive as hell and practically begging Dean to make a move. But he doesn't. Instead, he makes sure to be a complete tease as he walks up the lane to bowl. When he does, he doesn't even care what score he gets because when he looks back he sees Cas licking his lips and staring unabashedly at his ass with hungry eyes.

This little game of theirs goes on with their game of bowling. Both of them getting more and more bold as the night goes on as they realize just how much it's affecting the other. Dean wants to call it quits just to steal Cas away and fuck him in the Impala, but he's not going to do that. He won't. No matter how much Cas might want it. He's still got to talk to him, and that talk is going to have all sorts of boner killing ammo in it.

But again, as the night drags on, the more reasons that Dean finds to not bring up the conversation. In fact, he finds them winding down now and heading out to the Impala to go home and he still hasn't said a word about it. Although, perhaps now would be the best time. They're going to be alone in the car for a half an hour and they're going separate ways at the end of the ride.

That settles it, do it now you sorry son of a bitch.

"Dean?" Cas says, his voice practically on octave lower an it makes Dean shiver.

He looks over at Cas. "Yeah, Ca-"

Cas cuts him off by wrapping his hand firmly around the back of Dean's neck and pulls them into a bruising kiss. Dean grunts in surprise. He wasn't actually expecting Cas to take the initiative, but he soon kisses him back. Only, he's trying to keep the kiss light and he hopes Cas catches on. But no, he definitely doesn't and Dean is fighting a losing battle.

Cas' lips work against Dean's, coaxing them into getting with his rhythm. When Dean starts kissing him back with the same fervor as Cas, Cas hums in approval and moves closer. His tongue swipes Dean's bottom lip and Dean opens for him on instinct. A quiet moan rumbles in the back of Cas' throat. He quickly straddles Dean's hips on the bench seat, both his hands running up the back of his neck. Soon, his hands card through his hair, gripping the strands tight.

Heat pools down south and Dean lets out a sensual groan. His hands immediately find a place on Cas' hips, drawn to him as if he were a magnet. He tightens his grip on his hips. Cas moans into his mouth, grinding their hips together in one fluid motion. Dean breaks the kiss to gasp in a sharp breath, trying to calm himself at the same time.

"If I didn't know any better," Dean starts with a false bravado that only plummets more when Cas pulls Dean's head back sharply by his hair and licks a stripe up his jugular that rattles Dean to his core. A moan tumbling past his lips, his hips involuntarily bucki up into Cas. It doesn't help his arousal when he can feel Cas smiling against his throat smugly.

"If I didn't know any better," Dean starts over, trying to steel his resolve. "I would say you're trying to get me to have sex with you in the Impala."

"That's very astute of you, Dean." He trails his kisses up his neck and along his jaw before he's licking his earlobe and nibbling at it gently. Lowering his voice he adds, "Because that's exactly what I'm trying to get you to do." With a purposeful grind into his lap.

Dean’s grip on his hips tighten and he groans. “Well,” He swallows thickly. “You’re doing a damn good job,"

And that must be enough permission for Cas because he dives back in, successfully cutting off what Dean was going to add. His hands make their way to cup his face so he can deepen their kiss. His tongue running over his bottom lip again, but just when Dean opens for him, Cas bites it. Dean groans and trails his hand up Cas' spine and into thick dark locks.

When Cas releases his abused lip, Dean quickly tries to speak. It comes out in jumbled sentences and rushed thoughts at first so he stops and collects himself. Well, at least he tries. When he's coherent enough again, he speaks up.

"I don't keep condoms or lube in here anymore."

Cas licks a spot just below his ear that would make him go weak in the knees had he been standing. "That's fine," He practically purrs in his ear before playfully nipping at his jaw. "I want to get my mouth on you just as bad as I want to fuck you."

And just like that, every thought of stopping this to talk goes flying out the window. He's also pretty sure he hears himself mutter a quiet 'fuck'. He then fully realizes that Cas isn't doing anything and he's looking at Dean with a question in his eye. They probably shouldn't. He shouldn't let Cas give him a blowjob without a condom, just for safety reasons. Although he is clean, and he's sure Cas wouldn't let him do anything if he wasn't.

Decision made.

"Backseat." He growls, and even to his own ears his voice is rougher. "Now."

The moment Dean says that, all bets are off. Cas lunges in for a quick but searing kiss before Cas swiftly climbs over the seat into the back. Before Dean can turn to do the same, Cas' hand are grabbing him and dragging him backwards over the seat. And fuck if Cas' eagerness doesn't make this so much hotter.

Once they are both in the backseat of the Impala, Cas wastes no time in shoving Dean back against the door. He reclaims his place by straddling his hips and kissing him again. He pulls away to kiss his neck while his hands trail down and start undoing his jeans. When they're open, he brings his hands up to the hem of Dean's shirt and starts tugging at it. Dean gets the hint and leans forward enough to whip it off and throw it in the front seat before leaning back into his earlier position.

Cas sits back on his heels, his eyes raking over the newly exposed skin; taking in the tattoos before him that he's never gotten to see before. He doesn't stay like that long though. Figuring he will have other opportunities to fully appreciate the view. He leans back down to suck a mark on his neck while his hands explore uncharted territory. They follow the curves of his sides, up to his chest and shoulders.

He then starts trailing kisses down his collarbone and chest. Reaching a nipple he puts his mouth on it and rolls the bud with his tongue. Dean bites his lip to stifle a moan and arches his back into the touch. Cas reaches up with his hand to play with the neglected nipple before he begins to move down again.

When he finally gets down to his pants, he takes Dean's, achingly hard, cock out from his underwear. Sighing appreciatively at Cas' touch just as he swallows him down like he's a starving man. Dean gasps and gives off a wanton moan, his hand sliding into Cas' hair and gripping it tight.

Humming his approval, Cas' cheeks hollow out as he pulls off and begins bobbing his head. He swirls his tongue at the tip before taking him back in again, working the rest of him with a free hand. Dean restrains himself from thrusting up into the warm heat of Cas' mouth. No matter how badly he wants it, he won't choke Cas like that. He's going to let Cas do what he wants, how he wants to.

After a few more bobs of his head, he reaches up with his other hand and puts it in his pants, reaching down to fondle his balls through his boxers. There's no stopping the twitch of his hips that time. Rolling his head back as a moan makes its way out, his legs try falling open more to give Cas more room. When Dean looks down at Cas again, he's greeted with a set of blue eyes staring up at him through thick lashes. Cas doesn't stop his ministrations or falter at all.

Dean groans out a strained, "Fuck, Cas." Cas moans around him and his eyes flutter shut. Before he knows it, Dean can feel his impending orgasm creeping up on him.

"Cas," Cas sucks harder. Dean shivers, fingers tightening in his hair as he tries to hold it off, but he's making it so damn difficult. "Fuck, Cas, I'm-"

Cas hums, cutting him off and keeps working him over, bobbing his head with a renewed vigor. Although he supposes it can't be renewed if he never lost any of it to begin with. And just like that, Dean's climax hits him and he's coming in Cas' mouth. He swallows it all with ease. Working him through his orgasm before pulling off with an obscene pop. After he's pulled off his softening cock, he tucks Dean back into his underwear and gently zips him up. The whole while Dean slowly comes back down to Earth.

It's been too long since Dean has had a blow job. Hell, it's been too long since he's done anything sexual with anyone. With a groan, Dean opens his eyes to look up at Cas hungrily. Cas, the knowing bastard, smirks down at him, but Dean doesn't let him look smug for long. He quickly reaches up and wraps a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him into a rough kiss and swiping his tongue along Cas' bottom lip. He opens for him immediately.

Dean moans obscenely, tasting himself on Cas' tongue. It's something Dean could easily get used to if he would let himself. He pulls back before he can get too lost in the kiss. Both of them are panting heavily when he does.

"That was so hot," Dean mutters and feels Cas smiling into the next kiss. He grinds his hips up into Cas and the smile falters as Cas groans. He leans close to Cas' ear to whisper, "I'm going to enjoy taking you apart, Cas."

Cas moans quietly at the promise, his hands roaming over the muscles in his back. Cradling his head, Dean pushes him back so he's now the one against the door. He then grabs his thighs and pulls him forward roughly so he's laying on his back; his shirt rides up on the way down. He makes quick work with Cas' pants, and when they're undone, he leans over him to whisper in his ear again.

"Lift your hips for me." And he does so, eagerly.

Dean slides Cas' pants and underwear down to his ankles before removing his shoes and socks, along with the pants and underwear. When his legs are free, Dean lifts them into the air and places them over his shoulders. Cas watches him intently the whole time.

Looking directly into his eyes, Dean turns his head and starts kissing his inner thighs, slowly making his way up his leg. Cas lets out a soft breath, but other than that he remains still, eyes ever unwavering. Dean closes his eyes and sucks a mark into the sensitive skin at the point where his thigh meets the rest of his body. There's a sharp intake of breath above him, followed by a heavy moan. Cas' fingers soon find their way into Dean's short strands.

Dean kisses the base of his shaft and Cas' hips twitch up a little. Cas bites his bottom lip, brows drawn together in pleasure, and his eyes are closed. It's not long before he opens them again to watch with an attentive, lust blown gaze. Staring up into his eyes, seeing the genuine desire beaming in them, Dean can feel his dick give a valiant effort to get back in the game. Recovery time be damned!

Instead, Dean smirks and winks up at him. He can feel the full body shiver run through the man under him. Abandoning his cock, Cas makes a confused sound that doubles as a sound of complaint as well. Dean only smirks wider. He doesn't go far though. He only moves down to suck on his balls, which makes Cas stop complaining instantly. The enthusiastic sounds about whatever Dean's doing are back.

Moving lower, he licks his perineum and that earns Dean another gasp. He swears Cas stops breathing. He's waiting to see what Dean is about to do and is completely forgetting he needs to breathe.

Not wanting to see Cas pass out from holding his breath, he licks lightly against the puckered muscle there. The moan and small twitch of his hips he gets in return makes everything so much better. The way Cas lays his head back, Dean's name falling so easily off of those plush, kiss swollen lips, it makes him feel powerful; confident. It emboldens him to lick more confidently at his hole. And when he does, Cas grabs the front seat like a lifeline. His knuckles turning white from how tight he's gripping.

Dean keeps going and Cas arches his back in an attempt to push closer to Dean's tongue. Deciding he can give him what he wants, he prods at the ring of muscle. With the tip of his tongue, he pushes in. The moan of Dean's name that fills the car is loud. So loud that anyone that happened to be walking by at this time of night would have heard and known exactly what they were doing.

After a few thrusts of his tongue, he gently works his finger in alongside it. That has Cas practically writhing beneath him. Making sure he's wet enough, he removes his tongue and adds another finger. Scissoring him, he makes his way back up to his leaking neglected cock. He runs his tongue over his slit and then swirls his it around the tip. The taste of Cas' come spurs him to swallow him down with a filthy moan.

Cas' hand shoots to his hair and grips it hard. It catches Dean off guard and rips a loud earnest moan from him. Cas must notice too because he pulls it again. Dean can't help the moan, but this time he's expecting it and is able to control his volume. He hooks his fingers inside Cas trying to find his sweet spot, and it's clear as day when he finds it. Cas' moan is long and drawn out, accompanied with a beautiful arch to his back.

He keeps pumping his fingers in him, bobbing his head like his life is on the line. He's being completely relentless and it's making Cas babble, no longer coherent of anything he's saying. It's like music to his ears. So when Cas tenses up and his fingers lose their grip only to thread back through and grab tighter, he isn't surprised to hear a desperate, "Dean," fall from his lips.

He kicks himself into overdrive. Pumping his fingers, hitting his prostate more, and sucking him harder. It's not long before his come is coating his tongue. He swallows around his cock, working him through his orgasm until he's finished and he's slumping back on the bench seat in a sweaty, panting heap.

Pulling off his cock, Dean grabs his boxers and dresses Cas again, and Cas lets him. When he has his boxers and pants on, he's reigned himself back in.

He slowly sits up with a smile. "When you said you were going to take me apart, you weren't kidding."

"I never joke when it comes to making sure my partner has a good time in bed," He winks at him. "Even when it's in the back of my car." He reaches over the front seat grabbing his shirt and then sitting back down next to Cas. He hesitates before sliding his shirt over his head. "Although, I probably should have asked before I did that. Not everyone likes getting rimmed."

"I assure you, Dean," He looks over to meet Cas' eyes. "I wasn't acting my pleasure just now. If I truly hadn't been enjoying it then I would have stopped you, you have my word." They both smile at one another for a few seconds more before mutually agreeing that they should head back.

This was _not_ how tonight was supposed to go. He was expecting to tell Cas, enough, about his past and it would probably repulse Cas and he'd leave him. Either for himself, or because Dean's life could be dangerous for his son. Which it totally can be. If Cain ever catches wind of where he is, that's that. Everyone he's close to here will be used as leverage to get Dean to do what he wants. Of course that isn't how it went though.

Although, to be honest, he's actually pretty pleased with how tonight turned out.

When they get back to town, Dean refuses, _refuses,_ to pick Elizabeth up in the Impala when it reeks of sex. He will not be letting her sit in the car at all until he's thoroughly cleaned Baby to rid her of any lingering remnants of their escapade. Nope. Not happening.

He ends up driving them back to his house and he and Cas walk back to Cas' place and Cas drives them home. Cas is laughing at Dean the whole way, even though he agreed with Dean on the matter. Dean glares at him but there's no malice there. He ends up rolling his eyes and not bothering to stop or hide the smile from showing on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean knew there would be a day he'd finally break, well, today just happens to be that day.

It's been a few weeks since the bowling date and everything with Cas has been awesome. Well, awesome besides the fact that he hasn't talked to Cas about what he planned to that night. But that doesn't matter right now. And no, it doesn't matter that the longer he waits the more difficult he's making it on himself.

Actually, he was planning on telling Cas again a couple days after their third date. He invited Cas and Jack to come over for the kids to have a play date, deciding that he could talk to Cas then. Then Elizabeth had asked if they were getting along before Cas and Jack showed up. She had been so thrilled to find out things were going so good between them. The way that her face lit up when Dean had told her. It made his resolve to finally tell Cas, to basically ruin their relationship, crumble. He hasn't been able to rebuild his courage since then, and that was two weeks ago.

Since then, he's decided that maybe he won't have to tell him. It's his past. It isn't who he is anymore. There isn't really a reason to bring it up, right? Besides, Cas' family are just like Cain's group. Besides the fact that Cain is an evil son of a bitch and the Krushnics aren't nearly as bad as Cain.

Long story short, over the last two weeks he finally got over it. He isn't going to bother telling him unless something comes up and he has to.

Right now he's over at Cas' house with Elizabeth so she and Jack can play. He and Cas are sitting inside with Cas teaching him some more sign language. Well, at least he's trying to. Dean just can't pull himself together and focus long enough to learn anything Cas is trying to tell him.

And apparently his ability to hide his exhaustion is compromised because Cas isn't talking anymore. Instead, Cas is staring at him with those knowingly concerned blue eyes.

"Are you feeling alright?" Cas finally asks.

That's one thing that's changed with dating Cas. He's a lot more open with his concern than he used to be. Not that it bothers Dean or anything, he just wishes he'd let it go. But he isn't stupid enough to think that he actually would, even if Dean asked him to. If he asked, then it would make Dean look suspicious of something and Cas would probably only worry more. It would only lead to some kind of fight; and Frankly, Dean is sick of fighting.

"Yeah," Dean groans. "'M fine. Where were we?"

Cas frowns and narrows his eyes at him, not believing a word Dean is spewing. "If you aren't feeling well you should rest. It's okay, I won't be upset."

"I'm fine, Cas, really." He sighs rubbing his hands over his face a few times before dropping them to the table and leaning back in his chair. "Just a little tired, haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately I guess." And that's the closest to the truth he's going to get.

Cas squints at him with a curious arch of his brow. Just as he opens his mouth, there is a high pitched scream from outback cutting off whatever Cas was about to say.

Dean is out of his chair and out the back door before his chair has time to hit the ground. Every trace of his tiredness is swept away like a feather in the wind and replaced with a huge burst of adrenaline. His hand automatically goes to the back of his pants, instinctively going for his gun that is always there without fail in situations like these. But it isn't there now. His heart hammers harder against his chest realizing he's defenseless.

Once he's out the back door, his eyes scan the area for Elizabeth and Jack, along with any immediate threats. His eyes find the kids but nothing else. They're fine. Elizabeth is covered in mud but fine. His heart is still hammering against his ribcage. Eyes frantically searching the area again for threats, finding nothing once again.

Realizing that it was all a false alarm, and both kids are safe and sound, Dean starts feeling weak and dizzy. He hears Cas' voice saying his name from behind him somewhere, but its muffled. His legs are giving out before he knows what's happening and he's out before he hits the ground.

 

 

His eyes feel heavy when he tries opening them. Instead of opening them, he clenches them tighter and lets out an irritated sigh. When he does this, a hand gently places itself on his arm and a familiar quiet voice speaks beside him.

"Dean?"

He groan in response and, this time, successfully cracks open an eye. Standing beside him is a very worried looking Cas. Before he knows it, he feels a little body throw itself on top of Dean, sobbing into his neck. Dean opens both his eyes, fully coming too, realizing Elizabeth is crying and clinging to him like a life raft. He wraps his arm around her and runs his hand down her back trying to sooth her. When he tries moving the other arm, he feels something attached to it, and it isn't just Cas' hand.

Moving his eyes down he sees an IV needle in his wrist. He's in a hospital. Great. Just fantastic.

With a sigh, he lays his head back, closing his eyes again for a second. "What the hell happened, Cas?"

"You fainted," Cas says and Dean can hear the frown on his face. "You're in the clinic in town now."

"Fuck..." He mutters under his breath and opens his eyes to look at Cas again. "Shit, Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause all this."

Cas' frown deepens and he squints his eyes at him. "You have nothing to apologize for, Dean."

Sure he does. He scared the shit out of Elizabeth. That's obvious since she's sobbing into his shoulder. He most likely scared the crap out of Jack too, which, "Where's Jack?" He asks looking around the room. If Cas is here then surely Jack is too, right?

"With Charlie and Gilda."

Nodding, Dean leans his head back and waves his hand in a vague motion. "How'd I pass out anyway? All I remember is running outside and then I was out."

"Dr. Barnes said it was apparently caused by an adrenaline rush. Once you finally realized that there was no imminent threat, your body gave out." Cas' lips are drawn thin as if he has more that he wants to say, but is either too nervous or too polite to say more.

"You have more you wanna say, I can see it." Dean encourages pointing in the direction of Cas' eyes before dropping his hand again, his other still running at Elizabeth's back. "Just say it, I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

"She said this is something that would normally only happen after a large, prolonged amount of stress on the body."

"Right," Dean groans and rubs his face again before glancing to his other side. Sitting there are flowers with his name on them, and he snaps his head back to Cas with wide, slightly panicked eyes. "How long was I out?"

Cas puts his hand back on his arm. "Only a couple of hours, don't worry. Those are from Charlie and Gilda. When I asked her if she could come pick up Jack for a bit she and Gilda brought those for you."

"Oh thank god..." He lets out his breath that he didn't know he had been holding.

When he feels Elizabeth sniffle against him he looks down and frowns. He gently pulls her back so she's sitting on his leg sniffling and wiping at her eyes. When she drops her hands he gives her a small, apologetic smile and wipes his thumb over her cheeks to wipe away the last of her tears.

"Hey," He pulls his hands back so he can sign to her. _(I'm okay.)_ She hiccups and more tears well up in her eyes but she holds them back. " _(I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you)_ , kiddo."

She signs something but he can't understand it. Thankfully Cas catches on that Dean has no idea what she said and translates for him.

"She said she wasn't scared, she was worried."

Dean smiles at her and ruffles up her hair. " _(Always so brave)_ , huh?" It gets a small giggle out of her and that's all he was aiming for.

The doctor chooses that moment to walk in. She a normal height for a girl with long wavy brown hair and she's wearing a large smile when she sees them all. "Well it's good to see you awake, Dean. How're you feeling?"

"Fine."

She laughs lightly at that and makes her way to his bedside before shooting a playful glance in Cas' direction. "Cas said you would probably say that." She drops her eyes back to Dean, her smile never leaving. Oddly enough it doesn't look like a fake smile that most doctors will plaster on in front of patients. Maybe it's the small town effect.

"I'm Dr. Pamela Barnes, nice to officially meet you, Dean Winchester. Elizabeth and I met earlier." She keeps talking while she does a routine check up. "Sweet kid. She was pretty rattled up, but it looks like she's all good now that you're finally awake." When she's done looking him over she heads over to a stool with wheels, a laptop sitting on top of it. She grabs the laptop and sits on the stool before wheeling herself next to Dean.

"So, I've got a few questions for you, you know, the whole 20 questions. Any current medications, all that jazz." She glances over at Cas kindly. "If you'd like, there are lollipops in the waiting room if you want to go get one for Elizabeth."

Cas nods, taking the hint for what it is. He casts one last concerned look at Dean before he takes a hesitant Elizabeth with him from the room to give them privacy.

"Alright." Pamela says opening her laptop and looking to Dean with a serious, but relaxing look. "It's just you and me here now, so you can feel free to tell me anything that you may not want to in front of your kid, okay?" Or Cas.

"Sure thing, doc."

She grins at him, her serious exterior cracking before getting back to business. They get through the typical questions before getting into anything more personal. "Okay, has anything unusual happened recently that may cause you to pass out like you did?"

The only unusual thing that's happened since he's moved here is the whole hallucinating Sam thing. There is no way he is telling her about Sam, though. She would send him straight to the loony bin if he confessed to having hallucinations about his recently dead little brother. No thank you.

"No." He says it with a false sense of truth that he mastered years ago, but the look in her eyes tells him that she isn't buying it. She hums looking up from her laptop and stares into his gaze. He doesn't look away, if he does then it will look like he's lying. She hums again, dropping her eyes back to the laptop to type something more. He hates it, he wants to know what she's writing about him.

"Alright, how many hours of sleep would you say you get a night?"

Honesty is key, right? "Thirty minutes, maybe?"

Pamela's fingers stop typing on the keyboard and she looks up at him with an arched brow. It's not in a judging sort of way, simply curious. "Any particular reason as to why that is?"

"Nothing that can be helped."

"Why do you say that?"

He just shrugs.

"Do you know when the last time you had a good night’s sleep was?”

"I don't really remember, I'd probably be better off saying when I was a kid."

She looks back down and begins typing again. "Was there something that happened when you were a kid that made it so you have trouble sleeping now?"

"Now? No, I stopped having trouble sleeping over that a while ago." His mother's death was where his nightmares had all started though.

"So there is something, more recent perhaps, that has been keeping you from sleeping properly?"

"You could say that."

"Okay," She types and clicks some more before closing her laptop and grabbing a slip of paper and writing something on it. "I'm going to give you a prescription that should help you sleep better. If there are any side effects, stop taking them immediately and contact me."

When she hands Dean the paper with, strangely legible handwriting for a doctor, he glares at it as if it had somehow personally wronged him. He's never been a fan of medicine.

"If you go down to the pharmacist here in the clinic then he can give you your prescription and get started tonight."

He sighs pocketing the paper. "'S that mean I'm cleared to go?"

She smiles at him fondly. "Sure does. The pharmacist is on the way out. You'll see the sign."

She takes the IV out of his wrist and they say their goodbyes before heading in opposite directions. Dean goes to the pharmacist like she instructed. Even through he was more than tempted to just walk out, but he can be an adult about this.

When he finally gets the bottle of pills he glares at that the same as the slip of paper that he was given not too long ago. Making his way to the waiting room, he shoves the damn things in his pocket, trying his damnedest to hide them from Cas and Elizabeth.

Stepping into the waiting room, Cas' eyes immediately snap to him. He slowly stands with Elizabeth running over to him. She slams herself right into his legs and hugs him tight, Cas making a much more calm walk over to them.

"Are you ready to go?" Cas asks."

"Yeah." Dean says patting Elizabeth's shoulder. She backs away and points to his pocket with a frown before rubbing her shoulder where she ran into it. Of course. "Come on, let's go."

She frowns at the blatant brush off, so instead she turns to Cas and signs something to him. Because of course she would, why wouldn't she ask him when Dean ignored her. At least Cas waits until they are seated in Cas' car before asking anything.

"Dean-"

"They're just some stupid pills Dr. Barnes gave me." He snaps cutting Cas off. Something about sleeping better."

Cas frowns but nods. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry, Elizabeth is just worried since this happened."

Dean sighs rubbing a hand over his face. He knows he shouldn't be snippy with Cas or anyone else. "I know," He lets out a small groan before dropping his hands and leaning his head back against the seat. "Sorry, I'm just out of it right now. So fucking tired." He adds the last part as a quiet mumble.

"It's alright, I can only imagine what's been going on for that to happen to you."

Cas takes Dean back home making sure he's okay and that he has everything he needs. When Elizabeth finds out that he got medicine from the doctor, and that he probably wasn't going to take it, she practically begs him to take it. She says that if he's sick then it'll help. To which he tries telling her he isn't sick, but she's having none of it.

He ends up taking the pill just to try and see if it'll work, also to stop Elizabeth from worrying over him endlessly. He doesn't have to take them if they don't do anything.

Cas leaves shortly after that so he can go get his son and so Dean can get some much needed rest. Dean tucks Elizabeth into bed with Mufasa at the foot of her bed before he goes to his own room to try and get some sleep. It's been a little while since he's taken the pill and he's admittedly getting pretty drowsy.

By the time he's under the covers, his eyes are too heavy and he's asleep before he knows it. It's the fastest he's fallen asleep in a long time.

 

 

It's so dark. He can't feel anything. Where the heck is he? Why is it so damn dark? In that moment, a little faint orange light begins to glow in the distance. The light is permeating the darkness surrounding him.

All of a sudden, Dean finds himself standing in the darkness instead of simply existing. He frowns and looks down at himself, he wouldn't be able to see any of himself if it weren't for the soft orange glow. Bringing his attention back up, he makes the decision to walk towards the glow. He lets himself chuckle a little when he thinks of all the times Sam joked saying, "Don't go into the light, Dean!" whenever he would get hit on the head or do something comically stupid.

As he gets closer to the light everything starts to get warmer. A little _too_ warm for Dean's tastes, but he pushes forward. That's when he feels it. The pain. And the next thing he notices he's in crackling flames, biting at his clothes and skin. His heart hammers in his chest and he tries shielding his face from the fire. Frantically, he tries finding an exit, but there are only more flames.

He can't breathe, there's too much smoke. The flames are eating at his skin and it feels as if his skin is trying to boil off of him. Everything hurts, it all just hurts so much. Dean knows torture, and this, this is one of the worst he's felt. It's so slow and hot, you can feel your skin cracking and breaking apart, giving way to the heat.

And then it hits him; this must have been what it felt like for Sam, this is what Sam died feeling.

Dean's stomach turns at the thought. Before his mind gets wound up deeper in it, a booming maniacal laughter fills the air. His stomach still feels queasy and the flames are still biting at him, but the pain seems to have lessened to nothing. He looks down just to make sure they're still there and they are. The laugh sounds again only this time it sounds as if it is right in his ear.

He spins around to see who it is. There is nobody there, though there is a niggling feeling in the back of his brain that reminds him that that laugh is oddly familiar. But, yet again, his train of thought gets interrupted by something before he can delve deeper into it. Only this time it's a scream instead of a laugh. But it's not' just any scream, it's his name. Sam is screaming his name.

All the flames die out and he's standing on a road. In front of him there is a car caught on fire, Sam is inside screaming himself hoarse and pounding on the window.

"Sam!" Dean shouts and sprints to the burning vehicle. He grabs the handle to the door but it won't budge; the handle is stuck. Sam keeps pounding on the window. He's begging Dean to help him and ripping at his seatbelt to try and unhook it but it's also stuck.

"I'm gonna get you out of there, Sammy! Hold on, just hold on!" Dean tries ripping the door open again, but it's as if the door isn't meant to open. His muscles are straining and he lets out a scream as he tries to force it open with brute force. Nothing happens again. Dean is panicking now, his breathing is becoming labored and sporadic.

He steps back, eyes wide and jumping around frantically for something large enough to break the window with. The entire time, Sam's screams are in the background getting louder and more terrified. He sees a crowbar on the ground next to his feet and immediately picks it up. If he were thinking clearly, he would make some kind of joke about how it magically manifested beside his feet. But he has more important things to tend to right now. Such as breaking Sam out of the burning car.

"Sam, duck down!"

Putting all his power into the one swing, he slams the metal crowbar against the glass. He's expecting the glass to shatter under the force, so when it doesn't, his arms give a twinge of protest. He does it again, and when it doesn't shatter again, he screams in frustration and slams it harder, and harder. It's not working. Why isn't it working?!

The crowbar drops to the road and clanks when it makes contact. He whirls around trying to find something, anything to get him out. Then he sees a crowd of people surrounding them. There's a moment of shock before it sets in what is going on and rage takes its place.

"Why are you all just fucking standing there! Help me!"

When nobody even acknowledges Dean's existence, he goes to walk up to them and make them look at him. Although, he doesn't get to because the car explodes behind him. The force of the explosion blows him off his feet and he gets sent flying away from the car. When he hits a pole on the other side of the street he lets out a pained noise and slowly gets to his feet.

His eyes fall on the exploded car now consumed in flames. He falls to his knees with a scream ripping from his throat. The laugh from earlier sounds up again but he doesn't care, he couldn't save Sam. He looks over when he sees movement coming out from behind the other side of the flames and he stops breathing when he sees who is laughing.

Cain. It's his laugh. He's walking around to the front of the car. That's not it though, Dean sees movement from the other side of the car and his eyes flick to it. His heart slams itself into his ribcage when he sees Cas walking towards him slowly. It's Cas, but he looks so unlike himself. He's completely void of emotion and his eyes look uncharacteristically cold.

"Cas?" Dean's voice cracks around his name, but the man doesn't even flinch.

Cain's laugh is a constant in the background that only get louder when Cas pulls a gun out from behind him. Dean's brows furrow at it and he looks up with wide eyes to meet Cas' icy gaze.

"Cas, what're you doing with that?"

Cas raises the gun, pointing it directly at Dean's chest and his voice rumbles out a chilly, "You're a waste of space." before he pulls the trigger.

 

 

Dean gasps awake, successfully inhaling water as he does. He rips his eyes open, only to shut them again when water drips from his eyelashes. There is a heavy spray of water falling down on his head and a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around him. Dean desperately clings to the form against his chest trying to get a sense of reality, balling fabric into tight fists. It's a few seconds later that he registers Cas' deep voice whispering soothing words into his ear along with the sound of the shower running.

That's when he fully realizes where he is. He doesn't know how or when Cas got here and he doesn't know why he's in the shower with him with their clothes on. He doesn't care. He doesn't care what he looks like or that he's probably crying, his tears mixing with the water pouring on them. He doesn't care that he can feel himself shaking. He just hugs him closer, his heart pounding rapidly against its confines, and doesn't let him go.

Cas rubs his hand up and down Dean's back, continuing his quiet whispers to calm him down and bring him completely back into reality. Dean closes his eyes and focuses on Cas in an attempt to ground himself. He can feel Cas' heart beating just as fast against Dean's chest and Cas is clinging to him just as desperately as Dean is to him. Whatever happened, it scared Cas just as much as it did Dean.

When Dean finally clams down, he pulls back and out of Cas' hold. Although Cas' hands stay on his arms, either for his own reassurance or for Dean's.

"How about we get out of the shower?" Dean asks, but he doesn't look at Cas or give him an option. He just reaches around Cas and turn the water off and steps out. He grabs two towels for them both and hands one to Cas. They pat themselves as dry as they can before Cas follows Dean to his room. Dean rummages through his dresser, grabbing out two sets of clothes for them both and hands Cas one.

"So, not that I don't like you or anything, but why're you here?" Dean questions as he and Cas both change into dry clothes. When done, Dean takes a seat on his bed and Cas tentatively follows. He puts a gentle hand on Dean's knee before answering.

"Elizabeth called me. She was making frantic noises so I rushed over here as soon as I could. Elizabeth and Jack are both downstairs right now."

"Fuck," Dean groans, running a hand through his wet hair and then trails it down his face. He scared Elizabeth too. She wouldn't have called Cas if he didn't scare her. God dammit, he's fucking everything up.

Cas' hand leaves his knee to grab his arm and run up and down it calmingly. "It isn't your fault Dean. Don't beat yourself up over this."

"Not my fault." Dean scoffs at that and looks away. "The only reason I'm here in this town is because what I did fucked everything up." Dean glares at him. "It's always my fault, Cas. The sooner you realize that, the better off you are."

"That isn't true, Dean."

"Isn't it?" Dean growls, angry with himself. "Sam would still be alive if I wasn't a fucking idiot. I wouldn't have needed him to come pick me up. He never would have wrecked his car and it never would have caught fire and burned him alive. I never would have orphaned the child I now watch over because I got her father killed."

"No, Dean." Cas shakes his head with a deep frown. "You didn't cause that. You didn't know any of that would happen. It's _not_ your fault."

Aaand there are the tears pricking at the backs of his eyes. He never let himself cry over Sam. He couldn't. He felt too numb to cry when it all happened, but now he can't seem to hold them back. He hastily turns his head away so Cas can't see the wet streaks sliding down his cheeks.

The next thing he feels is Cas putting his gentle hands on his cheeks and turning Dean's head around so he's facing him again. Their eyes meet and Cas wipes away the tears before he pulls him into a warm hug.

Dean hesitates for a moment before he allows himself to melt into the warmth and hug him back. Cas cards his fingers through the back of Dean's hair and Dean can't hold them back anymore. The tears flow freely from his eyes and he buries his face in Cas' shoulder and just lets it out.

He has had to be strong for Elizabeth, and before Elizabeth, for Sam. He hasn't had anyone who was there to let him break every now and then. So this, on top of that nightmare, has his emotions swirling out of control. Dean has had to be a statue for so long. When he was little, he had to be Sam's pillar since John was a horrible father and their mother died in a house fire. In Cain's gang, emotion was a weakness. In prison he had to be strong or he wouldn't have made it out, or at least he wouldn't have made it out the same man he is now. After prison he just felt numb. He didn't care about anything. Now he has to be strong for Elizabeth.

"I'm not cut out for this," Dean mumbles into Cas' shoulder once his tears have subsided, his words a little muffled. "I'm not cut out to raise Elizabeth."

"You're doing good, Dean. Elizabeth is doing more than okay in your care. The fact that you think you aren't good enough is proof enough that you care too much about her to let anything happen to her. You're doing _good_ , Dean." Cas pulls back enough to look Dean in the eyes. "You know, Elizabeth wrote a paper about what a wonderful father she has for class the other day."

Dean furrows his brows, not getting where Cas is going with this. It's obvious Sam was an awesome father.

As if he can read Dean's mind, he adds, "She wasn't talking about Sam."

And the tears are back. He bites them back as they well up in his eyes and mutter a quiet, "Fuck," when they won't subside. Cas gives him a fond smile, his hand resting on his arm again while his thumb soothes over the skin there.

"Why don't we go downstairs and tell them everything's okay."

Dean nods and hurriedly wipes at his eyes before they head downstairs. When they get down into the living room and Elizabeth sees them, she starts crying again. She's signing that she's so sorry, amongst other things Dean doesn't know yet. Thankfully Cas translates. Telling him that she's saying it's her fault for making him take that medicine and getting him hurt.

"Hey," Dean immediately says and crouches in front of her, making sure she's looking at him before talking. " _(It wasn't your fault,)_ okay? _(I'm sorry for scaring you like that.)_ It won't happen again."

He then pulls her into a tight hug and she wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes him as tight as she can. He can feel his eyes getting watery again, but he will not cry again dammit! He pulls back with watery eyes. She frowns and wipes at a tears that escapes anyway, then she looks back to him worriedly. He shakes his head with a small smile.

" _(I'm just happy.)_ Those are happy tears."

She doesn't know why he's crying tears of joy, but she wraps her arms around his neck again and hugs him anyway. Dean hugs her back and lifts her up off the couch, her legs wrapping around his waist. He holds her tightly to his chest, not willing to let her go.

 

 

_Elizabeth's Essay:_

_My daddy was the bestest. I love him very much, but daddy died last year. I was very sad and I miss him very much. But it's okay because I have a new daddy now and I love him very much too. His name is Dean. Dean was daddy's big brother and he loved daddy very much too. He hugs me tight when I get sad about daddy and he tells me it's okay to be sad. Dean told me he misses daddy too._

_Dean is very strong and he always smiles but I know he is hurting too and he is sad but he wants to stay strong for me. That's why I'm strong for him too. Every night I hug him tight just like he does to me when I'm sad. I hug him because I don't want him to be sad anymore. Even through everything Dean is still the kindest, gentlest, and bestest daddy too._

_My other daddy loved Dean very much and told me he was the best big brother EVER. I agree with daddy. He gives me lots of food and lets me sit on his shoulders and lap. We watch TV together all the time. He got me a big puppy named Mufasa that I love too. He plays with me and Mufasa a lot. And he takes me all kinds of places. He helps me with my homework. He is good at English, but he's not too good at my math since he said he learned it differently, but that's okay. My daddy is still the bestest and I love him very much._

 

 

The next day at work makes Dean heart flutter and makes him feel oddly good. Bobby had pulls him aside saying, “Boy, you damn near gave me a heart attack when I heard you passed out.” And then proceeds to make sure Dean is okay and if he needs time off to recoup. Bobby’s gruff affection makes Dean’s chest swell with emotions. But he declines the offer and tells him he’s more than fine and he won’t be cutting any appendages off today, no need to worry.

After Bobby, both Benny and Kevin make sure he’s okay and feeling better. In which leads to Benny offering to take him out to drinks tonight and Dean accepts. Ellen and Jo even stop by. Granted they use their freshly baked cookies as an excuse, but everyone really knows why they came over.

A few days later, Dean finds himself in the Roadhouse with Cas. Charlie agreed to watch both the kids again, bless that woman. Granted the kids are at Charlie’s house this time so both Gilda and Charlie are watching them. Which is actually probably going to have to change here soon since Gilda is about to have their baby soon. But that’s a worry for another time. Tonight Elizabeth is staying over at Cas’ place for a sleepover with Jack. She was so excited when Dean dropped her off at Charlie’s that she was nearly bouncing off the walls.

Unfortunately for them though, Tasha is the one who happens to be their waitress today. Jo is helping out at the daycare. Surprisingly enough though, she has been more than civil to them. She's acting as if she didn't turn her nose up at the mere thought of Dean being gay the last time they met, which is good in Dean's opinion.

At least, she's being civil enough to _Dean_ , less pleasant to Cas. Granted she isn't being outright rude or mean in anyway, but it's still pissing Dean off. He went to speak up a few times about it, but Cas' hand on his knee stopped the words from leaving his lips, much to Dean's frustration. Why won't Cas say something?

"So," Tasha starts, drawing their attention from each other to her. She's looking at them a little oddly and she looks as if she is hesitant to keep speaking. "Are you two ... like ... a thing, or whatever?"

Dean arches a brow at how the words looked as if they burned her as they came out of her mouth. Pick your fights, Dean. Don't let her get to you. "Yeah, we are." He answers as politely as he's willing. Once she starts showing some respect for Cas is when he'll show her the same.

"Oh," She says with an underlying disgust that makes Dean want to tell her to fuck off if she doesn't like it. And then she leans closer to Dean, her elbows on the bar top and lowers her voice so Dean is the only one who will be able to hear her. "You know, when you get tired of him, I'm a lot more fun." She winks at him and adds, "I'm sure you'll love me."

Dean's face contorts into a repulsed look without him consciously doing so and he pulls back from her to put distance between them. He glares at her and she straightens up. "I love him a hell of a lot more than I will ever love you."

Cas, who had been taking a sip of his coffee, nearly chokes and looks over at Dean with wide eyes. But he's not the only one, everyone in hearing range is staring at him with that same look. Maybe not quite as shocked as Cas seeing as Dean kind of, inadvertently said he loved him. Which, he might, he doesn't really know. He kind of said that on impulse just to make a point to Tasha. Looking back now, he probably should have chose his words more carefully.

Tasha frowns at him. "Are you still mad about that little rumor?"

Dean scoffs, a humorless smile on his face. His eyes rolls up to the ceiling and he chuckles a little before dropping them back to her and shakes his head. "I thought you were okay when I first met you, but then you spread a rumor about me saying I was gay just because you were, what, jealous? Petty? You made my little girl cry and get teased because of that _little_ rumor."

Dean's whole demeanor shifts. The air around them seeming to crackle under the glare he's giving her, and a chill runs though everyone in the diner. His smile never leaves his face though, and it only serves to make everything about him that much more terrifying.

Cas shivers seeing that look in Dean's eyes. He had no idea a man could even look that scary. Well, yes he did, he's had first hand experience with looks like that directed at him. What he had no idea of is that Dean could look like that. He really shouldn't be aroused over this, but damn if it isn't hot.

"So yes," Dean says with a dangerous tone. "I'm still _mad_." His smile turns from deadly to warm so fast it nearly gives Cas whiplash and Tasha visibly takes a step back. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll have some strawberry waffles and," he taps his coffee mug, "some more coffee please." Dean turns to look at Cas. "What're you gonna have?"

"I'll, uh," Cas mumbles and shakes himself out of his stupor, looking at the menu unseeingly. "I'll have the same as him." He says sliding the menu back to her. She takes them and makes her exit without so much as a second glance. "She's probably going to spit in our food."

Dean chuckles at that, earning a small smile from Cas in return. A hand claps Dean on his back and he immediately looks over. There is a man in a ball cap that's sitting next to him, smiling a large smile at him, his rough hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Son," The man in a ball cap starts, "I haven't seen anyone talk back to Tasha like that in too long. Not since boy-o over there when he first rolled into town just like you." His smile falls into a small frown, his face filled with genuine sympathy. "Sorry 'bout your little girl, I hope she's doin' okay."

Dean smiles and thanks the man before turning back to Cas with a sly smile. A light blush is dusting Cas' cheeks.

"You told Tasha off?" Dean asks incredulously.

"It was a long time ago."

Dean can't help but bark a laugh. "Castiel, you are full of surprises. That must be why she doesn't like you. Makes sense why she tried to make me not like you in the beginning."

A frown etches Cas' face. "She tried to make you not like me?"

"Yeah, well," Dean shrugs. "She said something about you being gay and that you would try using me." Cas' jaw drops and he looks at Dean bewildered but Dean calmly waves a hand as if to bat away Cas' fears. "Don't worry, I didn't believe her."

"Well," Cas shrugs taking a drink of his coffee. "It's not like everything she said was false."

Dean arches a teasing brow. "You trying to use me, Cas?"

Cas' eyes shoot wide and his head snaps to him so fast Dean is surprised he didn't hear a crack. "No! What she said about me being gay, _that's_ true." He frowns. "I would never use you, Dean."

Dean laughs lightheartedly, his hand clapping Cas' shoulder and gliding down to stay on his arm. "I know, Cas, I was teasing." Cas gives him a disapproving glare, but there's no heat behind it. He's smiling along with Dean before long and the mood is successfully lightened for the remainder of their dinner.

 

 

A few days later Dean has to work later at the shop so he asks Cas if it would be okay if Elizabeth played over at his place until seven or so. Of course Cas said it was okay and he'd drop her off later.

When he steps through his front door his good feeling is gone. His instincts snap in place like they did back in New York. Mufasa's snarling and barking is muffled. filling the air and the scratching of claws on a wooden door. It sounds like it's back the hall.

He doesn't get time to check it out before he sees someone lunge at him from the dark living room off to his left. He jumps out of their way so they tumble in front of him. He slams the side of his forearm into the back of their skull and uses his foot to kick his feet out from under him. The man fall to the floor with a quiet groan before another man jumps at Dean from the other side.

The man slams Dean into the front door, slamming it closed from where he left it open. Dean quickly cracks his head against the other man's nose, breaking it. The man's blood gets on his forehead and drips between his eyes. The head butt hurt, but it has the desired effect. The man groans and stumbles back with a shout. Dean grabs one of Elizabeth's shoes and throws it at him. Just as the shoe hits him, the other man tackles Dean from the side, sending them both flying into the living room. Dean hits his head against the floor and groans.

Dean sees the fist coming down on him and grabs the man's wrist in the nick of time. Bringing his legs up between him and the man he places his feet on his stomach and power kicks him off of him. The man flies back and lands on the coffee table, shattering the glass that was in the top.

Dean quickly gets up and the man is right there with him, but he has a shard of glass in his hand. He lunges at Dean and he deflects the attack. He then grabs the man's wrist and kicks his elbow, successfully snapping it. The man howls in pain. Grabbing him by the hair, Dean slams his face into the wall and breaks his nose.

It gets blood on the white wall and Dean has an oddly domestic thought. That blood is going to stain the wall if he doesn't clean it soon. He lets of of the man's hair and he drops in a heap on the floor.

The other man comes up behind him and wraps his arm around his throat, trying to choke him. Dean turns them so he is facing away from the wall and then he uses all his strength to flip the man over his shoulder. He hits his back off the corner of the coffee table but wastes no time before getting up to attack again. Dean grabs the TV remote on the arm of the couch, chucking it as hard as he can at his head. It nails him in the temple with a resounding crack and he's dropping to the floor again.

Dean stands there in the living room trying to catch his breath, adrenaline running high. His mind is swirling with thoughts. Something still feels wrong here and it isn't the snarling coming from the closet. A slow clapping sound from the kitchen, announcing the presence of a third person. That's what Dean's instincts were warning him about. The light in the kitchen comes on and it feels like Dean's world freezes over.

"I knew you would still have it in you." Cain greets.

"No..." Dean breathes out, not wanting to believe it.

Cain smiles at him warmly. "That's no way to greet an old friend."

"What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you find me?"

Cain holds his arms out wide, taking steps towards him before letting them fall to his sides. "You have no idea how difficult it was to find you, kid. I was expecting a more heartwarming welcome for all my hard work." He sighs shaking his head. "But I came to ask why you never came back to the family after you got out of prison."

"It wasn't a family." Dean snarls. "Family has your back. They don't let you get sent to prison like you did."

Cain is looking at him with an almost bored expression before he schools it with a smile. "That wasn't my fault. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now," He holds out his arms in a come-here gesture. "Why don't we put this all behind us and you come back to us."

Dean scoffs a humorless laugh. "Unbelievable." Dean shakes his head and glares at him, seeing he's digging in his pockets and not paying attention to Dean. "Can't you take a hint? I left, that obviously means-"

Everything that Dean had planned to say in that moment abandons him when Cain pulls out what he was looking for from his pocket. It's a small plastic bag. It's heroin. Dean's heart rate immediately spikes, his body reacting to it even though he's been clean for years. He tries swallowing, but his throat is constricting on itself. Letting out a shaky breath he looks away in a last ditch effort in calming himself down. Out of sight out of mind, right? Wrong.

"Why are you doing this?"

"You're one of my best men, Dean. That's why. I want you back."

Dean shakes his head. "I can't." He hears Cain walking towards him, meaning the heroin is getting increasingly closer as well. He doesn't even realize he's stepping back until his back hits the wall.

"Can't or won't?"

With a determined clench of his jaw he manages a sturdy, "I won't." and meets his eyes.

Cain makes a tsking noise. "I was afraid of that." He leans in towards Dean and whispers in his ear. "You'll work for me again, Dean. That is, if you don't want anything to happen to that little girl you've got."

Dean snaps wild eyes to Cain that would make most men cower and flee, but Cain isn't most men. He never has been. "You stay the fuck away from her."

"Hmm." Cain grins but there is nothing friendly about it. It's maniacal in every way and holds nefarious promises, and Dean knows he will go through with whatever those promises are. "There's the fire I'm looking for."

He then reaches up and grabs Dean's face with a bruising grip, lowering his voice to a threatening growl. "But it looks like I have to retrain you. Prison made you think you were a big tough guy, I see."

Dean feels Cain's hand on his hip and he tries moving away but he can't without a fight. He then hears groans in the background indicating the goons are probably waking up. Cain's fingers slip into his pocket while he's distracted and then pats the pocket lovingly when they slip out. "For later." He whispers, his lips close enough to his that he can feel his breath.

Cain leans in to kiss him but Dean turns his head before he can get it so he kisses him on the cheek instead. "Oh, Dean," Cain tsks disapprovingly. "You wound me." He sighs and steps back. "But it's all useless. You and I both know you'll come back to me whether you want to or not; protecting that little girl of yours demands it."

And with a pat to Dean's cheek he says, "We'll be in touch, kid." before he and his goons leave.

Dean's world is spiraling and cracking at the seems. He feels like he's suffocating with the heroin in his pocket; it's sitting in there like an anvil on his chest. He was so close to a normal life. This is exactly what he was afraid of happening! He convinced himself it wouldn't happen and look where it got him.

He tries pacing the house to calm down, but it doesn't work. He stops in the kitchen and whirls around sending his fist into the wall. It felt good to get his anger out, so he does it again and again and again. He hits the wall until his fist is dripping with blood and his breathing is rigid.

He takes the heroin out of his pocket with trembling hands. His heart speeds up again and he lets out another shaky breath before he hastily throws the package on the dining table. He then continues to stare at it as if it's the worst menace in the entire world.

After a moment he leans forward on the table with his hands and hangs his head between his shoulders. His hand is stinging like a son of a bitch. Normally he'd wish it to go away, but it's a nice distraction from the demon in a bag on his table not two feet away.

He knew things were going to good for him. He knew he couldn't escape his past, yet he still tried.

Glaring up at the package before he angrily rips it from the table, he storms back to his room. He lets Mufasa out of the closet along the way. Once in his room, he goes straight for the nightstand and opens the drawer and throws the heroin in it, slamming it shut in a fit of rage. It rattles the lamp on it but it doesn't topple off.

He immediately makes his way back into the kitchen and cracks open the strongest liquor he owns. After taking a swig he looks at it in irritation and decides it isn't nearly strong enough.

Grabbing his leather jacket and keys he goes to the store, knowing they stay open until 8. He looks in the rearview mirror to back up and sees the blood that dripped between his eyes. Grumbling, he hastily wipes it off before taking off. It takes a little bit to find what he wants and to purchase it. By the time he gets back home, Cas' car is in front of his house.

Dean's blood runs cold. The living room and kitchen still have evidence from the fight. There is a blood covered hole in the wall in the kitchen, glass is shattered from the coffee table, and there is blood on the wall from where he broke the man's nose. _Shit_.

He sits in the car for a moment trying to think of what to do. If Cain is here in town then Cas hanging around Dean isn't going to be safe for him. If Cain catches wind that he and Dean are dating, he won't even hesitate to use Cas as leverage to get Dean to bend to his will.

The moment Dean walks through that door, Cas is going to be there asking what the hell happened. His fist starts stinging again as if to remind him he beat the shit out of his wall, as if he'd forgotten.

Okay. He steels himself and exits the Impala. Stepping inside he slips his jacket off and walks into the living room. Cas is standing in the kitchen looking at him, his eyes brimming with worry.

"Hey, Cas." He tries for casual but it comes out awkward. A nagging feeling at the back of his mind tells him about the heroin stashed in his nightstand. He has to physically hurt himself to stop himself from shooting a glance back the hall.

"Dean," The concern is so strong in Cas' voice that it nearly makes Dean choke.

He knows he shouldn't, but in a moment of weakness his eyes dart back to his room. As if he can see through the walls to see if the heroin is still there. His eyes snap back to Cas quickly though, not wanting to make him look any more suspicious that he is. When he looks back at Cas, he sees the man staring at Dean's busted knuckles and the brown paper bag with the liquor in it.

"I came to drop Elizabeth off, she's in her room right now. It had looked as if you were robbed and you weren't home either so I thought something had happened to you." He moves his eyes back up to Dean's. "Dean, what happened?"

"It was nothing." He deflects easily. "I tripped and landed on the coffee table." He shrugs, the lie rolling smoothly off his tongue. "It cut up my hand but I'm otherwise unscathed."

Cas opens his mouth to speak but Dean adverts his eyes and cuts him off. He really doesn't want to deal with whatever Cas is going to say. He needs Cas to leave. Although if Cain is still around watching him then it's already too late. "Thanks for dropping Elizabeth off."

He makes his way past Cas and puts the bag in a cupboard so it's out of sight. Not wanting to face Cas, he gets busy with making some food for Elizabeth even though he's certain she's already eaten. He just needs something to do with his hands.

"Sorry I can't ask you to stay longer," He continues, "I'm busy tonight."

The fact that he can already feel himself starting to distance himself from Cas turns his stomach. The moment Cain showed up he was no longer the Dean that he became in this small town. He's reverting back to how he was before. He's closing off and if he can feel it, then Cas definitely can too. He's always been oddly attune to that sort of thing for as long as Dean's known him.

"Dean-" The tone Cas uses unsettles Dean, so he cuts him off before he can get any further.

"Cas, don't."

"What happened?" He pleads.

Dean snaps back a glare. "I already fucking told you." He growls out irritably. "Besides, even if something did happen, which it didn't, it's none of your damn business."

"Dean," Cas frowns, but there is a hint of irritation behind his eyes. He's probably getting mad because he thinks Dean isn't confiding in him, but he doesn't need to dammit. He can do this on his own. He doesn't need to drag Cas isn't his shit like this. "If something is wrong I want to help."

"Oh, I'm sure you would, wouldn't you?"

His frown deepens. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Sighing, he rubs his face in annoyance. "Can you just leave now, Cas?"

"Dean-"

"Get out!" He shouts and glares daggers at Cas. His temper is thin to begin with because of Cain, he's not in the mood to deal with his bullshit.

Cas' eyes widen in a momentary look of hurt but he then narrows his eyes at him. "If you're going to be so busy, you you want me to take Elizabeth?"

He's had it. Slamming the knife he's holding onto the counter he snaps, "Why would I want you to take Elizabeth?" He asks genuinely not understanding where the offer is coming from. "Unless," He huffs a humorless laugh. "Unless you think I'm gonna get pissed at her too and do something I'll regret."

"If you're angry right now then you're not thinking clearly. It could be better if she were to stay at my place under the pretense of a sleepover."

Dean's eyes widen. "Holy shit..." He can't believe what he's hearing. "Holy _fucking_ shit, Castiel! You seriously even _think_ I would-"

"It isn't that I think you would cause her harm intentionally, Dean. You love her too much to do that."

"But you think I would get pissed enough that I wouldn't be able to control myself around her." He clenches his jaw, a fire burning him him and his stomach is twisting. He feels strangely betrayed right now and his heart hurts. It's clenching tightly and gives the allusion of it tearing itself in half. He thought Cas believed in him more than this. It turns out he's wrong about that.

"Why is there a hole in the wall covered in blood, Dean? You can't simply trip and punch a hole through the wall like these easily."

You better believe he doesn't miss the accusation in that sentence, and it only makes him even more pissed than he was.

"Are you accusing me of lying now?"

"I'm saying if you need space to figure something out, I will gladly let Elizabeth stay with me."

"Get out of my house." He says the words before he has a chance to truly think them over, overcome with betrayal, hurt, and rage. "Get out of my sight and don't ever talk to me again, Castiel. You're Elizabeth's teacher and that's it. Whatever we were, it's done."

"You're going to breakup with me because of this?"

"You bet your ass I am."

"Dean-"

"I said get the fuck out of my house."

It takes Cas a few moments before he's walking out the front door. The moment Dean is finally alone, he feels tears burning at the backs of his eyes and his throat tightens as he staves them from slipping out. He turns back around and runs a distressed hand through his hair. He will not cry. He holds his breath but when he releases it, it hitches and wobbles. A few tears escape in that moment to cascade down his cheeks. He's fucking everything up again.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy." He says, collapsing into a hard chair, his head falling in to his hands and his body starts to shake. "I'm so sorry." For everything. For not being the big brother he deserved. For not being able to raise Elizabeth right. For getting mixed up with Cain again. For getting mixed up with Cain _ever_. For getting Elizabeth mixed up with Cain. For not being strong enough. Lifting his head he sees a sad looking Sam staring back at him. He doesn't even flinch.

Sam is looking at him with a sad expression, looking desperately like he wants to do something, but unsure what can be done. He's just an aspiration.

"What do I do, Sammy? Tell me what to do. _Please_."

Sam drops his eyes with a broken, defeated look on his face. He looks back up thinning his lips. "You're strong, Dean. You can get through this." Sam reaches over the table and puts a hand on his. "Don't push Castiel away because you're scared. Let him help you where I can't." And with that, he slowly disappears.

Dean clenches his eyes dropping his face back into his palms and shakes his head. Not even hallucination Sam wants to be around him. He doesn't blame him.

Elizabeth peeks her head around the corner to the kitchen an watches Dean. Castiel has just left and both he and Dean look really angry. Castiel looked more hurt before he left though, so something Dean said probably upset him.

Dean turns his back when he thinks he's alone and she can see a small tremor to his shoulders. He falls into the chair as if his legs are unable to hold him up anymore. His head is in his hands and he's saying something. For a minute, Elizabeth thinks he's seen her, but then she sees his lips form 'Sammy' and her heart shatters. That's what Dean used to call her dad.

Puffing out her chest, her eyes filling with tears, she walks in the kitchen and sees him say, "What do I do, Sammy? Tell me what to do. _Please_." Looking at the table across from Dean, she sees a faint shimmering light, but it soon disappears. Her tears slip down her cheeks and she puts a gentle hand on his sleeve. She will be strong for him.

He stiffens and quickly wipes his tears, not looking at her. He sniffles and clears his throat before giving her a horribly forced smile. "Hey, kiddo, ( _you hungry? I was just making you something._ )" He stands and turns his back to her. He stands at the counter, about to pick up cooking again when she crashes herself into his legs, hugging him as tightly as she can. He stiffens again and she squeezes tighter.

Dean puts his palms flat on the countertop and clenches his eyes tight. Pushing her back slightly, he crouches in front of her and immediately is immersed in another hug. Her tiny arms wrapping around his neck and he can hear her trying to hold back her tears. He pulls her tighter, his hand coming up to cradle the back of her head. They don't let each other go for the rest of the night.


	8. Chapter 8

A week passes by in a blur. It's been a week since he's told Cas- no, Castiel, that he never wants to speak to him again. Was that a little harsh? Probably, but Dean doesn't care. Why should he? Castiel had told him that he basically didn't trust Dean not to hurt Elizabeth in a fit of rage. That had hurt Dean something fierce.

This whole time he had thought Castiel trusted him and believed in him. During that night when he had that pill induced nightmare, Dean thought that that was a stepping stone in their relationship. The way Cas had silently supported him and not judged him about anything. The way Cas spoke to him, how he said Dean was doing a good job raising Elizabeth. Had those words all been lies? Did he say them just to get Dean to stop sobbing like a child? It's looking more likely the longer Dean thinks about it.

So he stops thinking about it, not wanting to ruin the memory further. Instead, he focuses on the now. Sitting in the Roadhouse and drinking with Benny. Elizabeth is spending the night at Jack's and Dean didn't want to be alone. When Dean asked Benny out for drinks he seemed happy enough to entertain him for the night.

It's pretty obvious he's not in a good mood though. People aren't stupid around here either. Neither Dean nor Castiel have said anything about breaking it off, at least he doesn't think Castiel has said anything, yet people still seem to know what's souring Dean's mood. Of course it doesn't take a rocket scientist to piece the obvious pieces together.

Dean and Cas had been stuck together like glue. Then all of a sudden one day they stop hanging out, neither muttering so much as a word about the other man. It's easy to piece together if you take two seconds to think about it.

Jo and Benny are exchanging passing glances at each other when they think Dean isn't looking. Both of them seem worried about him, he sees it in the way they look at him. The two hours of sleep he's gotten this week probably aren't playing up his case either. They hide concern well enough though that he can ignore it without much problem.

The problem, however, isn't Castiel. He isn't losing sleep over him; no matter how much he misses the man deep down. The problem is the heroin burning a hole in his nightstand.

He still hasn't touched it. The heroin. That's what he's losing what little sleep he already gets over. He tosses and turns all night, thoughts plagued by the drug. Top it all off with the nightmares that only seem to be worse with the heroin within reaching distance, he's going to give in. He just knows it. He can't keep going like this.

"You look rough." Benny says, drawing him out of his thoughts. Well, it looks like one of them finally braved it up enough to ask. Good timing too, Dean was thinking of heading out soon anyway.

"Yeah, well, you're not my type either." His attempt at deflection earns him a frown from the man.

"That's not what I'm trying to say, brother." He pauses for a second before adding, "Is everything going okay?"

Dean nods and downs the rest of his beer. "Peachy." He says while setting the bottle on the bar top and getting up. "It was fun, but I gotta head back now. Take care, Benny." He claps a strong hand on his back and Benny frowns watching him leave.

The moment he's outside, an arm wraps possessively around his waist and leads him somewhere more private. He doesn't fight it. He doesn't have to look to know it's Cain. When they're successfully alone, Cain lets go of him. Dean leans back against the wall of the building they're behind with a nonchalance he hasn't needed in years.

"What do you want, Cain?"

Cain's smile as he blatantly lets his eyes roam over Dean's body irritates him, but otherwise he says nothing about it and lets Cain do as he pleases. The sooner this is over the sooner he can collapse on his bed and try to forget the world.

"You look like you could use some sleep, kid." His voice is too smug for Dean's liking. "So you haven't used it yet, I see."

Dean doesn't have to answer it, it would be obvious if he had used it.

Cain leans in closer to him, his hand beside Dean's head and he whispers in his ear, his breath ghosting over his skin. "I want you back, Dean." It sends shivers down Dean's spine. Not the good kind, either. "I need you back."

"Cain-" Cain cuts him off with a rough kiss. Dean makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat but he pulls back before Dean can protest.

"If you won't work for me then the you owe me your body, Dean. It's the least you can do to repay me for everything I've done for you."

"Everything you've done for me?" Dean growls and angrily shoves him away. He's pissed now. What does this asshole think he needs to repay him for? Letting him get send to prison? "You got me put in prison for seven years, Cain. Seven! If anything, _you_ owe _me_ for taking the fall for you!"

Dean's back is colliding with the wall again, more forcefully this time. A hand is gripping his throat so tightly it's making it hard to breathe and he knows there are going to be marks there tomorrow. He crowds into his space and snarls in his face like an angry dog.

"It was your own stupidity that got you caught. How _dare_ you try to blame it on me! You may have been a hotshot in prison, boy, but remember where you learned it all from."

Dean doesn't get a chance to react before a fist is connecting to his gut. He doubles over in pain. Cain wastes no time, knows not to let Dean get back up so he can defend himself. He pushes Dean hard in the eye. Yeah, that's gonna leave a bruise too. Dean is hitting the ground before he realizes what's happening. Legs straddle his ass and his arm is being roughly twisted behind his back. He can't move.

He lowers himself so he's right behind Dean's head. His voice is lowered dangerously, tinted with a warning Dean knows all too well. "I'm going to come back in a week, kid. Your attitude better be fixed."

And with a hard push, as if he could get any closer into the ground, Cain gets up and leaves him on the dirty asphalt.

 

 

The next morning, Dean wakes up with a splitting headache, a black eye, and a prominent bruise in the shape of a hand print around his neck. Is crawling back in bed and never leaving it again an option? No, no it's not.

Covering his eye with sunglasses is easy enough, but the bruise on his neck is a different story. There is no way in hell he's wearing a fucking _scarf_. The only thing he's even moderately _fine_ with wearing would be a turtleneck, but even that sounds immensely unappealing. Does he even own a turtleneck?

Turns out he does. It was Sam's and god is it ugly. Sam, that nerd, even had the attire to go with the title. Dean's pretty sure he teased Sam for wearing this once. Funnily enough he never saw it again.

With one look in the mirror, he cringes automatically when he sees his reflection. Complete with sunglasses and a butt ugly turtleneck. God this sucks.

He's glad Elizabeth isn't here to see this, but he has no idea how he's going to be able to take the sunglasses off tonight when she is here. She's going to panic. That's a problem for later.

When he gets to work Benny is the first to comment on the look, Kevin stays astutely silent, and Dean groans.

"My eyes are killing me." Dean grouses and Benny holds up his hands in surrender. When Bobby comes out of his office he sees Dean, looks away without so much as a thought, pauses, and does a double take. The look on his face would be hilarious if it wasn't pointed at Dean.

"He drank too much last night." Benny says, coming to Dean's defense.

"Don't go cutting any fingers off , boy. If you can't work, leave. I don't want no one losing no limbs today cause you were stupid yesterday."

"I should probably go." Dean grumbles. It catches everyone by surprise that he's actually taking up Bobby's offer to go home. So much so that he leaves without so much as a peep from anyone.

The moment he steps through his front door he's taking off that god awful turtleneck. He replaces it with a t-shirt when he gets to his room before collapsing back onto his bed. He lays on his back, his legs hanging over the edge, and stares up at the ceiling. It's almost as if he can feel a thrum of energy coming from the heroin, like it's calling to him.

He's sitting up and holding the package before he realizes what he's doing. His body is shaking with a hum on anticipation, desire to try it one more time. Just one more time. It's like a chant that echoes in his mind. _Once more, once more, once more_. He needs it. It's been so long since he's used it, but his body so clearly remembers it. He _needs_ it. His body is calling out to it like an old lover.

His mind is deep in a trance of _need need need_ that he nearly misses his phone ringing. He throws the heroin back in the drawer is if it's burned him and hastily answers his phone, trying to keep his voice even. "Hello?"

"Dean, it's Lisa." He frowns and looks at the clock on his phone. School is definitely in right now, the only reason she would call would be because of- Oh god, something happened to Elizabeth. Cain took her. She was found dead on the side of the road. She- "Elizabeth has a fever and needs you to come pick her up."

"Oh," His voice sounds so relieved that he winces. He shouldn't be happy that she has a fever. "I'll be right over."

He throws on his sunglasses and leather jacket and he gets to the school as quickly as possible. Eight minutes later he's walking into the office for his visitor's badge. Naomi is standing beside Lisa at her desk and the two look up when he enters. Naomi's eyes widen and Lisa gasps softly, both sets of eyes locked on his neck.

_Fuck_. He forgot to put his turtleneck back on in his haste to get here. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

"What happened to you?" Naomi is the one to ask.

"None of your business." He pointedly grabs the badge from Lisa's desk and slaps it on his shirt as he exits the room. The nurses office isn't far. Upon entering the room, Elizabeth grumbles and stumbles to him. Dean alerts the nurse he's taking Elizabeth. He then turns and starts to leave the office, but he runs into none other than Castiel in the doorway.

Castiel stumbles back, a book clutched tightly in his hand. His eyes widen and Dean steps back, Elizabeth clinging to his leg like she'll fall without it. He keeps a steadying hand on her back. Neither man says anything, but when Castiel's eyes flick to his neck there is a sharp intake of breath.

"Dean," His voice is dripping with concern, his body language going from pissed to rigid with worry.

"Is that Elizabeth's?" Dean asks with a nod to the book.

Castiel drops his eyes in confusion for a moment, clearly having forgotten he was holding it. He then holds it out. "Yes."

"Thanks." He tersely says and takes it from his grasp. There is nothing left to say so he pushes past Castiel.

"Dean, wait."

Rolling his eyes, he doesn't slow his pace. "We have nothing to discuss, Mr. Novak."

Castiel is practically begging Dean to wait, just one second, please. Dean doesn't stop. He drops the badge off and he leaves. If Dean is going to go back into that life, the life with Cain, he isn't going to get anyone else involved. He's going to give in to Cain. It's the only life he's known. It was a pipe dream to think he could escape it. Now it's only a matter of time.

 

 

The familiar weight of his gun holstered in the back of his pants is a comfort he didn't realize he missed. It never leaves him. At night it's under his pillow. During the day it's in the waistline of his pants. With Cain around, the possibility that he or one of his men could be around any corner, it's better safe than sorry.

True to his word, Cain shows up a week later. Elizabeth and Dean are watching TV when he lets himself into Dean's house. Dean is off the couch and pulling Elizabeth behind him protectively, narrowing his eyes at Cain.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

Cain looks around leisurely before meeting Dean's glare with a smile. "Are we going to have this talk with company?" His eyes trail down Dean's body to Elizabeth peeking out from behind him with wide, terrified eyes. Cain waves his fingers at her and Dean steps in front of her again.

"Let me take her somewhere else. I'll be back."

Dean makes Cain go in the kitchen, not wanting Elizabeth to walk past him. Cain finds the way Dean's acting to be hilarious, but he complies easily enough. Dean gets a terrified looking Elizabeth in the Impala before he's peeling out of the driveway and dialing Castiel's number. He answers on the second ring.

"Dean?"

"Can Elizabeth come over? I have something I need to do."

Castiel is silent on the other end of the line but eventually says, "Of course she can, but Dean-"

"I'll be there in a bit." And Dean promptly hangs up on whatever Castiel was going to say.

Castiel is standing outside when he pulls up into the driveway. He looks righteously pissed. Turning around in his seat, Dean looks at Elizabeth, who still has a stricken look in her eyes.

"I'll be back to pick you up later, okay?" She shakes her head adamantly and Dean sighs. "Please, Elizabeth. I forgot he was coming over. Everything is going to be okay."

The back door opens and Dean sees Castiel standing there. He signs something to Elizabeth that clearly makes her feel a little better because she hugs Dean tightly before scooting out and going inside. She looks back once before closing the door. Castiel closes the back door and takes up standing by Dean's window. With a sigh he rolls it down.

"I'll come pick her up later."

Castiel nods and keeps staring into Dean's eyes. His one eye is still black and blue, though thankfully not nearly as bad as it was, and Dean is finding it difficult to meet his piercing stare.

"Dean," He says calmly. Dean refuses to meet his eye and he sighs, walking around the car and getting in the passenger side.

"What the hell are you doing? Get out of my car."

Castiel glares over at him stubbornly. "Not until you tell me what's going on."

"None of your business."

His sturdy gaze never wavers from Dean, his eyes studying him. Dean feels like he's under a microscope. It isn't a feeling he likes. "Everyone is worried sick about you." Castiel finally says, putting pause to his inspection. "And for good reason, so I will not leave until you tell me what's going on with you."

"Dammit, Castiel." Dean growls. Castiel's full name still feels wrong coming off his tongue, but he tries ignoring the itch under his skin. There's no time for this. "It's none of your fucking business!"

"You're not only affecting your life with whatever it is you're doing."

"What exactly do you think I'm gonna do?"

Castiel doesn't say anything for a long while, just stares at him with squinted eyes. "I don't know." He admits. And there's the worry again. Worry for Dean. Worry for Elizabeth. Worry Dean doesn't deserve.

Dean lets out a long, tired sigh. "I'm just hanging out with an old friend. He's at my place now and I don't want to keep him waiting. Can I please leave now?"

Once Castiel assesses what Dean says and deems it adequate, he sighs and gets out of the car. Of course, he then leans down and adds, "Just ... think about Elizabeth." before he shuts the door and leaves.

Dean narrows his eyes. He is thinking of Elizabeth. All of this is for her.

Don't kid yourself. A voice in the back of his head laughs. You're doing this for you. You want that heroin so bad and you're willing to sacrifice anything for it. You're just saying it's for Elizabeth. To protect her from Cain. But by doing this it will be the worst possible thing you can do for her. You're weak. She can't stay with you and you know it. You're a danger to her.

He slams the wall up in his mind to silence the voice. In the rear-view mirror he sees Sam in the backseat. He's giving him that sad puppy look that shatters Dean's will.

Lowering his eyes to his side mirrors, he mutters, "Don't look at me like that."

He gets back home before long. Getting inside he sees nothing. That sits wrong with him for a couple reasons. Cain is here somewhere, and Mufasa should be too. Where the hell is his dog?

He looks back the hall and sees his bedroom light on. Steeling himself he strides back. Standing in the doorway he narrows his eyes seeing Cain holding the heroin in his hand, but for a moment he doesn't care about it.

"What did you do to my dog?"

Cain's smile makes Dean sick. The way it twists in delight. "Don't worry about him. He's sleeping out back." He then holds the package up. "Let's talk about this, much more interesting, wouldn't you say?" He throws the package on the nightstand. "I'm surprised by your willpower, Dean. It's admirable."

He then reaches back in Dean's nightstand. "I'm also surprised by this." A second later he's pulling out a dildo and giving Dean a smug look. "What, you actually get off by cramming this thing in your ass?" Tossing the dildo on the bed, he scoffs. The look in his eyes screaming at Dean that he believes he’s above Dean.

 Cain starts stalking towards Dean with a glint of … something in his eyes. Something that makes Dean want to run the fuck away. Back to … back to who? Cas? He’s not a damn dog that’s going to run back to its ‘owner’ when faced with something less than desirable. Cas isn’t his damn protector either.

Dammit, no, it’s _Castiel._ Not _Cas_. _Cas_ is for friends. But why can’t they be friends? A quiet voice asks in the back of his mind. Because Cas- _tiel,_ his mind quickly supplies, hurt your feelings? That’s such a bitch thing to hold a grudge over.

So lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize Cain was right in front of him. At least he didn’t notice until Cain is turning Dean around and slamming him into the wall with purpose. Dean grunts in surprise and a slight twinge of pain in his back from being twisted so sharply.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dean grunts out angrily.

“I thought you liked having a dick rammed up you, kid. I’m giving you what you want.”

Dean knew this was coming. But knowing doesn’t stop his heart from jackhammering in his chest when the words confirm Cain’s intentions. That isn’t even remotely close to anything Dean wants. He tries twisting out of his hold, but the way he’s twisted is making escape impossible. Cain gives a warning growl and tightens his grip.

“I’m getting tired of waiting, Dean. This is the least you owe me, and if you don’t let me do this then that kid is next.”

Dean immediately stops struggling at the mention of Cain touching Elizabeth. Bile rises in his throat and he swallows it down. If this is what it takes, f this will keep him away from Elizabeth, he’ll let it happen. He’ll let anything happen as long as it means nothing will happen to her. So when Cain’s hand grips his hair tight and rips his head to the side, he goes willing. His body is pliant.

 

 

Cain zips up his pants indicating he’s done. Dean would sigh in relief but that would take too much effort right now. He’s sitting on the floor, naked, covered in sweat and come, in pain.

“See you next time.” Cain pats Dean’s cheek harder than needed and leaves him alone to take care of himself. Or not take care of himself, Cain most likely doesn’t give a shit.

He sits there, leaning his back against the side of his bed for what feels like hours. Pain throbs rhythmically in his ass and up his back. It’s been so long since he’s been a bottom and Cain isn’t a gentle top. He fucked Dean completely unprepped, but thankfully he still used lube. That didn’t stop the searing pain though. It hurt so bad and Cain had been more brutal than he used to.

He isn’t sure how much time passes before he hears the front door open. Frowning, he gingerly sits up, hisses at the pain and thinks better, leaning back against the bed.

“Dean?” Cas’ worried voice rings through the empty house and back the hall.

His eyes widen and he shoots forward, shouting, “Hold-” He gasps and cringes at the flare of pain but pushes on. “Hold on! Don’t come back here!”

Shakily he gets to his feet, but that lasts all of two seconds. He crashes back to the floor in a painful heap. His legs are weak and numb, unable to hold him up. On his way back down, he takes the lamp on his nightstand with him and a loud bang sounds through the house. He gasps landing on his ass again, pain shooting up his spine.

“Dean?” Cas shouts panicked. “Dean, I’m coming back.”

“No, stop!” Dean shouts, his voice tinged with pain. This isn’t how Dean wants Cas to see him. Naked, sweaty, bruised, beaten, and covered in someone else’s come. To sum it up, shit looks better than him. His legs are too weak right now to even attempt to stand again to lock his door. So he sucks in a breath and lays his head back against his bed.

The door is ripped open with impressive force. Cas stops in his tracks the moment he sees the crumpled mess Dean is, his eyes widening in horror. Closing the door behind him immediately he drops to a knee beside him.

“Dean, oh my god, what…” His horror is swapped for a venomous rage he doesn’t even bother to hide realizing who did this. “Your old ‘ _friend_ ’ did this to you.” It isn’t a question, therefore required no answer. Good thing too because Dean isn’t giving one right now.

Dean tries his luck at standing again but doesn’t get very far before he’s cringing again. Cas’ hands are on his cold skin instantly, helping him stand. He takes the brunt of Dean’s weight. His hands are much gentler than Cain’s and the care he’s giving Dean with such a simple task as putting him on the bed astounds Dean. Even as gentle as he’s being though Dean still cringes the entire time, only letting out a pained wince when placed on the bed.

God, he feels like such a little bitch whining like this. Though he actually thinks Cain popped a disk in his back, hence the throbbing pain there.

Cas looks down at him full of worry. The anger is still there for whoever dare do this to Dean but it’s been pushed back, not of dire importance in this moment. Hands slowly guide him to lay back on the bed. He goes willingly. Cas mutters at him not to move as he covers Dean with a blanket and leaves the room.

Dean slowly, gingerly sits up and runs a hand softly up his spine trying to feel if he ruptured a disk. The way that he tries twisting himself sends another wave of pain through him. It catches him off guard and makes him cry out from both shock and pain. Cas comes running back in the room when he hears Dean’s cry.

An exasperated, yet still concerned, sigh leaves his lips when he sees Dean on his side. “I told you not to move, Dean.” Cas asks putting some Tylenol on the nightstand. His hand lays on Dean’s arm as a damp washcloth cleans the come dried on his stomach and chest. “What happened?”

“Cas, I need you to tell me if I ruptured a disk in my back.”

Dean would laugh at how big Cas’ eyes just got if he weren’t in pain. The blanket pool down around his hip when he leans forward more for Cas. Cas runs a hand lightly down his spine, starting at the base of his neck. Dean should be ashamed by how much Cas’ touch soothes him, but he’s taking any comfort he can get right now. He finds the disk and Dean bites his bottom lip and scrunches up his face.

“I’m calling an ambulance.”

“No, Cas, don’t.” He hates the way the desperation bleeds out into his tone. Cas narrows his eyes and meets Dean’s. “It’ll worry Elizabeth, and I know she’s already freaked. Just …” _Please_.

Cas keeps eye contact while he pulls out his phone and presses some buttons. Dean gives him an indignant rumble of his name, but then Cas arches a brow and says, “Charlie? I need to take Dean to the clinic. No, Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. Yes, Dean’s apartment. Thank you, Charlie.”

He hangs up and Dean averts his eyes. It takes the two of them to get Dean dressed. They have him ready by the time Charlie shows up. Charlie gives him a worried look seeing how Dean apparently can’t stand without Cas’ arm wrapped around him. Dean reassures Elizabeth everything’s fine and he’ll be back.

When they get to the clinic, Pamela is giving him a pinched frown, but otherwise says nothing. She asks what happened and Dean skimps on every detail and lies his ass off. She doesn’t believe a word he’s spewing, but it doesn’t matter.

The trip to the clinic goes quick. Staying off his feet, but not staying off his feet too long is the main thing Pamela tells him. After the visit, Cas takes him back home. The shocked look on Cas’ face when he invites him inside makes Dean feel extremely guilty. He’s able to walk by himself up to the house and inside, Cas right on his heels. He’s not looking forward to what’s coming when Cas finally decides to speak up. It’s not going to be fun, that’s all Dean knows.

Dean offers him a drink but Cas shakes his head and tells him they need to get him off his feet. They both head back to Dean’s room in silence. Sitting down sends a twinge in his ass and his back aches a little.

“Dean,” The desperation in so thick in Cas’ voice that Den could choke on it. He looks over to Cas standing beside his bed; his big pleading eyes boring into Dean. “Please don’t shut me out. Please, Dean, tell me what’s going on. Seeing you like this… Dean,” His brows pinch together in pain and his face contorts. “It’s killing me.”

Dean has to avert his eyes, the sincerity in those blue eyes is too much. But he already knows he’s going to tell him. Buried deep in his chest he can’t stand the thought that he’s the reason behind the pain in his eyes. The thought that he’s worrying Elizabeth sick. Hell, Benny, Jo, Kevin, Ellen, and Bobby are all giving him looks when they think he’s not looking. And seeing Charlie tonight shows she’s worried too.

He thought what he’s doing is right. He thought he’d be fine like in the past, but there’s something different about this time. It isn’t just the fact that he is caring for Elizabeth, though that’s the biggest factor. It’s the fact that he has people now. People that care about him. Back in New York he only had Sam, but now…

He has to protect them from his stupid mistakes.

“Sit down, Cas. This is a long story.”

Relief floods over Cas like a strong ocean current and he sits on the other side of the bed. He waits for him to start talking on his own time.

His eyes drop his hands and sighs. “I’m not a good man, Cas.”

“That’s not true, Dean.”

Dean gives him an emotionless stare; the warmth that is usually behind his eyes that Cas is loves is gone. “You know I’ve been to prison before?”

Cas doesn’t answer immediately. “No,” He says quietly and shakes his head. “But that doesn’t make you a bad person, Dean.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t. The shit I’ve done is what makes me a bad person.” Thinning his lips and narrowing his eyes at the memories that flood him, he drags his eyes away. “I was in a gang a long time ago. The leader, Cain, favored me. He’d use me for more than just selling drugs. He would have sex with me, and at the time I suppose it wasn’t entirely rape,” Dean slowly trails off, getting lost in thought again. A shoulder pushes lightly against his and he minutely leans into the touch.

Dean tells him that he sold drugs for him, amongst other things, but he refused to sell to kids or teens. Cain would let other members of the gang use Dean when they did good on a mission as long as they didn’t hurt Dean to the point where he was incapable of working.

He tells him how he was caught on school territory with heroin. Dean swears Cain set him up to get caught too because they had a nasty fight the night before. That was the beginning of how he got sent to prison. It doesn’t want to come out of his mouth, but he tells him he was addicted to heroin himself.

Prison isn’t something he likes to think back on. The withdrawal he went through was hell. That wasn’t even the worst of it though. He did … so, so many horrible things there. He climbed the metaphorical latter quickly. People became to fear him. The worst thing is, he even started doing those horrible things for the hell of it. (“It couldn’t have been that bad, Dean.” “Cas, I gouged a man’s eye out with a rusty nail because he looked at me the wrong way.”)

Dean takes a steadying breath, getting into the part of the story where it always hits him the hardest. Cas presses closer when he hear the slight shake in Dean’s exhale.

Sam took Dean in after he was released. Dean owed him so much. He kept Dean out of drugs and away from Cain. He got Dean a job as a mechanic. If it weren’t for Sam, Dean would be dead. He was planning on killing himself when he was released. He was sick of it all. Life was so meaningless. But Sam was there on his release date. He doesn’t know how his brother knew his release date, Dean never told him, but he was there. That wide grin and stupidly long hair.

Dean doesn’t notice his eyes getting watery until Cas puts a reassuring hand on his hand on Dean’s knee. Allowing himself a small moment of weakness, he slowly puts his head on Cas’ shoulder. A strong arm wraps around his shoulders immediately and holds Dean tight.

“I missed his wedding.” Dean chokes out. “I missed so many things because I was in prison.”

He just didn’t see a point in living if the one thing he was brought into this world is something he couldn’t do. He was meant to be there for Sam. Was supposed to protect him and be a good big brother. He missed so many things.

The only thing he didn’t miss is when Elizabeth was born. Seeing Elizabeth finally joining the world, Dean isn’t ashamed to say was in tears when he got to hold her. She gave him a new purpose. He swore he would protect her and be the best uncle he could.

Dean shakes his head. “I thought I was finally out.” He clenches his fists. “But then Cain showed back up.”

“Cain is the one who is here?” Cas says with large angry eyes. “He’s the one who did this to you?”

“Yeah, he’s here.”

Dean carefully leans away to grab the package of heroin on his nightstand with a trembling hand. Once it’s in his hand, he leans back and closes his hand tightly around the plastic. Drawing in a shaky breath he holds his hand out for Cas to open his own. Cas does with a confused furrow of his brows. It takes more effort than he’d care to admit to pry his hand open and let the package drop in Cas’ hand.

“I-” His voice shakes, unable to control it. “I need you to take that from me, Cas, or else I don’t think I’ll be strong enough to resist it any longer.”

Cas’ eyes widen seeing the package of heroin and looks up. “Dean,”

Dean closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall. “I haven’t used any, don’t worry. Withdrawal was hell once, I’d rather not go through it again. I couldn’t let everything Sam did for me go to waste. So please, Cas, I need you to get rid of it for me.” His voice, along with his hands, is still shaking and he can’t stop it. The way his body reacts to the drug, he hates it.

Cas squeezes his shoulder as he gets up from the bed and disappears out the door. He has no idea how Cas is planning to dispose of the drug. As long as it’s gone, that’s all that matters. Not long after he disappears, Cas reappears and climbs back into Dean’s bed. Wrapping his arms around Dean, he kisses the top of his head to try and sooth his shaking.

“God, I’m so pathetic.” Dean grumbles. “I’m supposed to be some tough assassin and here I am trembling in a bed like a Chihuahua.”

“You were an addict that just had his past addiction in the palm of his hand. You just gave up something your body was screaming at you to use. You’re strong, Den. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. You’re not pathetic in any light.” He runs a hand through Dean’s hair and kisses the top of his head again, whispering, “Thank you for telling me.”

Cas swears if he ever sees Cain again in person … Dean wouldn’t want him to do anything and Cas doesn’t want to do something that will upset Dean. Although that won’t stop him from saying some choice words and threats … or ‘pop a cap in his ass’ as Gabe would always say. Dean will never have to know.

If Cain is here, though, he should tell his father. They’ve been looking for him last Cas heard. But if Cain is here for Dean… this is such a mess.

“So, what’s your poison?” Dean says, trying to make light of the situation. Cas arches a brow down at Dean. “Your story of how you got here.” He supplies helpfully.

“My wife was murdered by…” He hesitates and thins his lips. Knowing Dean he isn’t going to take this well, which shows something about his character considering he had nothing to do with it. “It was the day she gave birth to Jack. Kelly was in her hospital bed. Someone disguised as a nurse snuck past the guards and killed her. It was one of Cain’s men.”

Dean’s world, not for the first time, comes to a halt. He feels sick. He’s going to be sick. He must look absolutely stricken too because Cas is pulling away so he can cup Dean’s face.

“You had nothing to do with it, Dean.”

Why is Cas trying to comfort _Dean_ right now? Dean should be offering his sympathies and comfort his boyfriend-not-boyfriend.

“It doesn’t fucking matter, Cas. I worked for the bastard that…” He clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes closed, muttering, “Fuck,”

Cas plants a kiss on his forehead before pulling him into his chest to continue holding him.

“I should be the one trying to comfort you.” Dean mumbles a weak protest but makes no move to change positions.

Cas shakes his head. “Holding you like this is comforting to me, Dean.”

They fall silent for a while after that, both in their own minds. Dean is the first to break it. “Are you really a Krushnic?”

Cas hums. “I’m nothing like my family, Dean.”

“Yeah,” Dean gives a dry laugh. “You already proved that when I told you I worked for Cain, the man who killed your wife, and you didn’t shoot my ass.”

“They wouldn’t have-” Cas starts to defend his family, but when Dean gives him an oh-really? look it shuts Cas up. “Okay,” He admits. “They may have tried, but it only would have been the ass, I swear.”

A smile cracks Dean’s somber expression and a laugh is soon bubbling up. The sound is beautiful and Cas swells with joy at hearing it again. Knowing that he is the one who made him make such a beautiful sound is immensely gratifying.

The remainder of the night remains lighter than earlier. Charlie drops Elizabeth and Jack off when he texts her it’s okay. When it gets about time to go to bed, Cas doesn’t want to leave. Dean doesn’t want him to leave either, so he tells him he doesn’t have to leave if he doesn’t want. Trying to be nonchalant, and failing. Cas gladly stays, but leaves to get the kids to bed before he’s cuddling back up with Dean in bed.

As Dean is falling asleep he’s muttering to himself; maybe he’s trying to talk to Cas. The muttering is something about being sorry for what he’s doing and some other things that don’t make sense. Cas throws it under delirium and a bunch of sleep nonsense.

 

 

Dean wakes up the next morning with a feeling of resolution in what he needs to do. He groans at the light before attempting to bury his face in his pillow … but his pillow is warm and a lot harder than he remembers. Cracking an eye open, he looks up. Cas is smiling down at him with impressive bed-head.

“How’re you feeling?”

Dean grumbles and gently rolls onto his back. “Better.” He stretches carefully and moans appreciatively at the feeling. He’s never been so happy about it being the weekend and not having to get up before.

“I’m going to get up and get the kids breakfast, do you have any requests?”

Dean can hear the smile in Cas’ voice and it unwittingly brings a small smile to Dean’s lips. “Coffee.” He hums.

“Of course,” Cas chuckles and heads out.

It’s not too long before Elizabeth comes barreling back and jumps on his bed. No doubt Cas told her to be gentle and not hurt Dean. Most likely told her his back was hurting or something like that.

Seeing her smiling face and wide brown eyes is too much in this moment. She isn’t expecting him to grab her and pull her tight to his chest, but that’s exactly what he does. Tears are stinging the backs of his eyes.

This isn’t something he wants to do. He doesn’t want Cain in his life anymore, but he’s threatening people he loves and cares about. These are good people here. Finally, he finally has people in his corner again and Cain is here to ruin everything. But if he doesn’t take care of Cain … he’s never going to leave. He won’t stop. Cain needs to be stopped. He has to do this. This last time, just this one last time, and then he’s done.

That doesn’t make it hurt any less knowing he’s going to have to hurt Elizabeth to do this. He’s going to leave her.

 

 

It doesn’t go the way Dean expected. He got a note pinned to his front door telling him where to meet Cain. Dean takes Elizabeth to Charlie before heading out of town to an abandoned barn. What he sees when he walks through the doors makes his stomach sink to the pits of hell. Cas is in the middle of the barn tied up to a chair. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid.

No. Relax. He can still do this without Cas getting hurt.

“Dean,” Cain greets. “So glad you could make it.” He stands from a chair off to the side and walks closer with a laugh. “I’ve been looking for ways to get you to come back to be. Turns out I was simply missing a large piece of the puzzle. Who would have guessed that a Krushnic was under my nose this entire time,” Cain points at Dean, looking utterly gleeful. “And that the _Reaper_ of all people is fucking him.”

The boisterous laugh the rings through the air is grating on Dean’s nerves. “This is beautiful, Dean. Why have you been keeping this from me?” Then he thinks better of the question and holds up a hand. “No, don’t answer that. It’s because I would have used him as bait, right? No qualms about killing a grown man like I would a little girl.”

“You never had qualms about killing children before. Threats made upon her were just as real as any you’d dangle under Castiel’s name.”

“Yes,” Cain hums giving him an appraising look. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I’m in.” Dean spits, wanting to get this over with. Cain and Cas alike still. Cas with a look of stricken horror and Cain with mild surprise. “On one condition.”

“Anything, just name it.” Cain says with a wave of his hands.

“I go with you, you never touch this town again. You or any of your men.”

“Dean,” Cas’ disbelieving voice breaks through the deafening silence. “What- don’t do this!”

Cain smirks wickedly, his eyes never leaving Dean. “If you come with me, I’ll leave everyone here in this town alone forever.” He holds his hands up before marking an X over his heart. “Cross my heart.”

Cas’ big eyes snap to Dean pleadingly. “Dean, wait, don’t do th-“

“Okay.” Dean cuts him off.

“Dean!”

Dean averts his eyes from Cas’ hurt stare. He can’t look at him, God he wants to tell him this is all a sick joke and wipe that look from his face. That isn’t an option though. “Cas,” He says with a false indifference. “Can you take care of Elizabeth for me? I know this is shitty of me, but I did try and tell you I wasn’t a good person.”

“No, Dean, this isn’t you. Whatever it is you think you have to do, you don’t! You don’t need to do this! Elizabeth needs you! You lover her, don’t leave her like this, Dean, please.” Dean chances a look back into those deep pools of blue. They’re screaming at him, begging him to hear the silent ‘ _I need you_.’

He feels his heart reach out as if to grab him and wrap him up and tell him his deepest desires. Wrap him up in his arms in front of a fire. Lay down next to him in bed. Wake up next to him in the morning. Listen to the birds chirping over a cup of coffee. Both of them sitting out on his porch on a porch swing, a blanket wrapped around both their shoulders. Smiles wide on their faces. Laughing over the stupidest shit. Light kisses that he never knew he needed. Quiet whispers for only their ears to hear. Elizabeth, Jack, and Mufasa right beside them.

‘ _I need you too._ ’

Instead, Dean shrugs and looks him dead in the eye. “That’s the thing, Cas, this is me. A waste of space. Always the disappointment in everyone’s eyes. My brother was always too optimistic for his own good.” Dean twists his face into a stony, yet wicked expression. “I guess I had you fooled too.”

Dean’s eyes trail over to a tray of torture instruments off to the side. Cain obviously set this all up, thinking Dean wouldn’t go without a fight. Sitting atop the metal tray is a bottle of chloroform and a rag. He walks over to the tray, Cain thankfully standing in the background watching everything fold out before him with a jovial glint in his eyes.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas’ voice is strained with a hint of panic. That’s reasonable. Dean, probably looking rather psychotic at the moment, is standing beside a tray of sharp and deadly tools used to torture people. Panic is an understandable emotion to feel in this moment. Grabbing the chloroform, he puts it on the rag and walks towards Cas.

Cas is pulling at his restraints and turning his head in any direction other than Dean. “Dean think about this. I know you don’t want to do this! Dean, don’t-”

“See ya ‘round, Cas.” He fists Cas’ hair to keep him still and holds the rag over his mouth and nose. “Keep the kid safe.” He adds a wink before dropping his eyes. Cas is making muffled noises and jerking movements, then he falls unconscious.

Cain walks up behind Dean and wraps an arm around his waist. Both men are staring down at Cas’ limp body. “Good to have you back, kid.”


	9. Chapter 9

The first thing he notices when he starts waking up is that his head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton. The second thing he notices is that he’s no longer tied to a highly uncomfortable chair. Instead, he’s in a slightly more comfortable bed. The smell of sterilizers and disinfectants inform Cas that he’s in the clinic.

Cracking his eyes open, he blinks rapidly until he’s able to keep them open without squinting. It doesn’t make his head feel any less groggy though.

Cas isn’t typically a violent person, unlike his other family members. Still, he has moments and instances where he’s known to tap into his Krushnic blood and crave to get his fists on something. This is one of those moments. Dean, that stupid, selfish, son of a bitch. The next time Cas sees his gorgeous face he’s going to throttle him and beat logic into that thick skull of his, along with some self-preservation skills.

He saw it in those green eyes. It was well hidden, but Dean slipped up a couple times. He saw the pain and sadness deep in him. The longing and the desire to not have to do what he did. That idiot thought that that was the only way to stop anything from happening, so he sacrificed himself. And the way that he could see the way Dean was screaming ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ at him when he was holding the rag over his face, it makes Cas’ blood boil.

God, he’s in love with an idiot.

He didn’t want to do this, really, but he needs help. He slowly sits up and feels around for his phone but seeing someone appear in the doorway to his room he stops.

“Sheriff Mills.”

“Cas,” She gives a disapproving glare.

“Jody.” He corrects sheepishly.

She smiles and walks into the room. “I’m glad to see you awake.”

He frowns at her. “How did you find me?”

“We got a call from an untraceable number and told us where to find you.”

_Dean_.

“I’m assuming you’re not here for a friendly visit then.” He muses.

Jody gives him a sad look before putting on her professional face. “Afraid not.” She pulls out her notebook and pen. “I need to know everything you remember. Whoever did this couldn’t have gotten too far and if we work quick we may be able to catch them.”

Cas sighs and runs a hand over his face. “I was at home getting ready to start dinner. Jack was upstairs playing in his room and I hadn’t heard the door opening over the timer going off. It went quick after that. Someone snuck up behind me. I sensed someone was there, but they got to me too quickly and used chloroform to knock me unconscious.” Cas is still pissed about that. He should have been able to sense them sooner and defend himself. Although in the back of his mind he thought it was just Jack.

“I woke up later in the barn.” He continues, squashing his irritation for later. “The men were masked though, so I couldn’t see their faces.” He lies easily. He doesn’t need her to get involved with this, not with what he’s planning to do.

“There were two of them?”

“Yes. Both were men.” He should be ashamed how easy it is to lie to Jody, but he does feel little guilty. He needs to get out of here as soon as possible.

He continues his lies and Jody believes them. She has no reason not to believe him. It makes things so much easier for him. When he’s released from the clinic, he immediately checks his phone. Charlie texted him.

 

_Jack called me and told me you were missing. Where are you?_

_I’m back at your place btw_

_Elizabeth is with me._

_Where is Dean?_

_Where the hell are you?_

_What the hell is going on?!_

_The kids are scared shitless, man. I don’t know how to reassure them if you don’t text me_

_back._

_I just heard you were fucking kidnapped!! They found you at an abandoned barn! Castiel,_

_answer your fucking phone!_

 

Cas quickly shoots a text back to her telling her he’s on his way back and he just needs to make a stop. He heads over to Dean’s after he presses send. Mufasa is sitting laying on the porch. Cas has never seen a dog look so despondent. He perks up when he sees Cas’ car and his tail gives a couple half-hearted thumps against the porch when Cas gets out.

“Hey, boy.” He says and opens the back-car door, patting his thigh encouragingly. “Come on, let’s go see Elizabeth.” It takes a little more coaxing to get him in the back seat, but it isn’t too long before they’re pulling into his driveway and Jack is running outside.

He gets out and Jack runs right into his legs, wrapping him in a hug. “Dad! Dad, what happened?”

“Hey, it’s okay, Jack. Everything’s fine.” He leans over and opens the door for Mufasa while simultaneously running a hand over his son’s hair to calm him down. Mufasa jumps out and runs up to a petrified looking Elizabeth standing in the door with Charlie. She’s looking around as if waiting for Dean to walk into view with a blinding smile and welcoming arms for her to run into. It breaks his heart.

He guides Jack back to the house. He closes the door behind them and sees Elizabeth gripping Mufasa’s flower collar desperately, her big eyes locked on Cas.

( _Where’s Dean?)_ She signs hesitantly.

Cas crouches in front of her and gives a small, hopefully reassuring smile. ( _He had to go away for a little while. He told me to apologize to you for him, but it was an emergency._ )

She thins her lips and nods. ( _When will he be back?_ )

( _He wasn’t sure, but he said he’ll try and get done as soon as possible to come see you again. He wanted you to stay with me until he got back, is that okay?_ ) She nods but she still looks upset. Cas can understand that, her guardian left without saying goodbye. ( _How about you and Jack go pick out a movie and we can watch that during dinner, okay?_ ) She nods again and walks slowly to the living room with Jack and Mufasa.

“You better tell me exactly what’s going on, Castiel.” Charlie demands in a sharp whisper.

Cas sighs nodding and leads her into the kitchen. He starts from the beginning and fills her in on everything she’s been left out of, but he only tells her what she needs to know to understand.

“I know this is a lot to ask of you, Charlie,” He starts as a warning. “But can you watch Jack and Elizabeth for me.”

“Where the heck are _you_ going?”

“New York.”

“Cas,” Charlie shakes her head. “No. You can’t go after him alone, especially not if he’s working for someone like _Cain_.” She whispers his name like it’s some kind of disease, which, it isn’t too far off.

“I’m not going to be alone, Charlie.” He pleads. “Please, Charlie, trust me.”

She glares at him and grumbles something under her breath. When she throws her hands up in the air, he knows he’s won. “Fine.” She hisses. “But what are we going to tell the kids?”

“We’ll figure something out, but first I need to make a call.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and opens his contacts, pauses, and looks to Charlie. “Thank you, Charlie, I’ll pay you back for everything you’ve done.”

“You better.” She says with a humph and crosses her arms.

He smiles at her. “I will. I swear.” And then he heads out back pressing the call button on his phone.

A few rings go through before a deep familiar voice sounds on the other end. “Castiel?”

“I need your help, father.”

“What’s happened?” Michael’s voice takes on a more serious tone than when he answered. It makes Cas feels a bit nostalgic, but there’s time for that later.

“It’s about Cain.”

“Tell me everything.”

  

 

Dean settles back into his old life with Cain in New York embarrassingly easily. Two weeks have passed since he’s comes back, and he’s learned one thing. His title as Reaper hasn’t lost any of its weight. Newcomers look at Dean with mystified awe and terror alike. They scamper around him as if worshiping the ground he walks on. It makes him feel sick.

He’s been looking for ways to finish this so he can get out of this once and for all. He needs the perfect way to pull it off though. There’s no half-assing this. It has to be perfect. There are a few options that could work to make Cain stop if they’re executed properly. Faking his death or killing him are his best options so far. Finding the right time to do it is the most difficult part.

Everything goes south the moment he wakes up this morning.

His hands are shaking, sweat is coating his body and his body just _aches_. The worst part is, it’s a familiar ache. As his brain starts catching up to what’s happening, his hear starts beating erratically and panic twists in his gut. He knows this feeling all too well. He’d never be able to forget it.

No … no. No. No! _No!_ God, please, no.

Dean rolls onto his side, attempting to curl in on himself. He didn’t use any drug. He didn’t use heroin again, but this is body telling him he did. Someone had to of done this to him. They had to of tricked him into it somehow. How did this happen? When did this happen?

Dean’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the door open or see the light that spills in from it. It isn’t until there’s a hand on his shoulder that he realizes someone is in his room. The bed dips beside Dean indicating someone is there, and the hand on his shoulder pushed him onto his back. Cain is sitting beside Dean with a satisfied smile on his face. His fingers brush sweat matted hair from his forehead.

“You-” Dean growls.

“What was I supposed to do? I needed to make sure you wouldn’t try running off on me again. And now that that pain in the ass brother of yours is out of the picture, there’s no one willing to ‘ _your ass from the gutter_ ’ as you always liked to say.”

Dean pushes himself up, grabbing a fist full of Cain’s shirt and glaring daggers at him, lowering his voice. “Don’t you fucking talk about my brother, you son of a bitch.”

“You shouldn’t speak to me that way, Dean.” Cain says. He grabs Dean’s wrist and pries his hand off him. “I might get angry.” He stands up and Dean falls back on the bed. Digging in his pocket, Cain pulls out more heroin. “If I’m angry then you wouldn’t get this. Then where would you be?”

“Better off.” Dean spits.

“Now, now, don’t be like that.” Cain puts the heroin on his bed and starts walking to the door. “I’m only looking out for you.”

“If you were really looking out for me, you wouldn’t have shot me up in my sleep.”

“I was just giving you what you wanted, Dean. The sooner you realize that, the better things will get for you.” Cain sighs and looks back at him. He’s like a silhouette from the light outside the room on his back. “Get some rest, kid. I’ve got a mission for you tomorrow.” And just like that, Dean’s alone again.

 

 

The next day Dean wakes up with an itch. It’s familiar and annoying- it’s an annoyingly familiar itch. It’s his body’s way of telling him it’s craving another dose. He promptly ignores it and makes his way to Cain’s office; it’s where he keeps important task files. It’s in a warehouse, oddly enough, and up some stairs that, Dean guesses, would resemble a second story.

Walking into the office he’s a little surprised that Cain isn’t in here. Nobody is in here, which is even more odd. Even if Cain himself isn’t in his office, he typically has his newest recruit in here as his secretary. It’s a good thing he knows where all the files are kept because he isn’t waiting around for one of them to show up just to hand him the file.

The desk is clean, as always, so it makes it easy to find the file that says ‘WINCHESTER’ on it. Opening it, he lets his eyes roam over the information. There is a picture that stops him short though and his heart sputters in his chest. It’s a burning car, but that’s not the thing that stopped him. What stopped him is that he knows that car. The car is a silver hybrid that Dean used to make fun of. On the back windshield, there’s a sticker of a stick figure family. Dean put it there.

That’s Sam’s car.

There’s a file in Cain’s desk with a picture of Sam’s car in it.

Sam’s _burning_ car.

This is right after the accident.

This is-

His heart is hammering in his chest as he hastily flips the photo out of the way to read the cover page; it’s the target’s name.

_‘Samuel William Winchester’_

 He flips the page again and sees a profile photo of Sam. Beside the photo, it has information about his height, weight, eye color, hair color, blood type, birth date, everything. Below it is a picture of Jessica with a large red X over her face with ‘died in childbirth’ next to her photo. There, at the bottom of the page is a photo of Elizabeth with all her information beside her as well.

Dean’s gonna be sick.

Flipping the page again and he sees where the mission details are. His eyes run over the page, the words making bile rise in his throat. What gets him the most, though, is the word in big, bold, red lettering at the bottom of the page.

_‘MISSION COMPLETE’_

And a foot note that actually makes Dean throw up into the garbage can beside Cain’s desk.

_‘Failed to eliminate the child’_

Dean is crouching on one knee in front of the trash can. The scent of throw up wafting under his nose making him gag more. He spits into the trash, attempting to rid the vile taste of stomach acid in his mouth, but it doesn’t work.

“You shouldn’t sift through other people’s belongings, Dean. It’s considered rude in most places.” The sound of Cain’s voice rings in his ears and makes his blood boil.

“You killed him.” Dean’s voice is low even to his own ears, void of anything he’s feeling. He stands slowly and levels a blank stare at him. “You killed my brother.”

“No, I released you from your shackles. I did it for your own good.”

“Sam was what was best for me!” Dean shouts, losing his false calm.

Cain shakes his head, keeping his composure. “Sam was holding you back. I wish you could see that.”

“I hope you know that the moment you took Sam away from me was the moment you took away the only thing keeping you safe.”

Everything after that happens in two seconds. Cain has a confused twitch of his brow. Dean whips out his gun from his pants, aiming it at Cain’s head. Cain’s eyes widen, and Dean doesn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, Cain is fast enough to grab the barrel of the pistol and move it out of the way. Though, he wasn’t fast enough to get it out of the way completely. The bullet whistles past him and skims his temple, leaving a trail of blood in its wake.

Cain grunts and narrows his eyes at Dean. “You think you can kill me?”

“Oh, I know I can kill you. I’ll make damn sure of it.”

The air feels charged, a strong undercurrent of electricity sparking between them. A twitch from Cain is all it takes to ignite the flame.

They move on instinct. Two men seasoned in combat, both knowing the other’s style of fighting. Their fists collide with the other occasionally, neither willing to let go of Dean’s weapon. Knees and elbows join in on the action. Dean doesn’t register the pain, instead he focuses on Cain; his movements, subtle indications and twitches of his next moves, though Cain’s fake still catches Dean.

He hits Dean in the side of the head when he should have been going for his legs. The blow sends Dean falling back and knocking his head off the corner of Cain’s desk. Groaning, Dean rapidly blinks. Something warm trickles down the side of his face. Blood.

The tell tale click of his run is all the warning he gets. He rolls out of the way. Wood splinters right where his head had been. He gets his feet back under him and launches himself at Cain. Dean’s shoulder connects with Cain’s stomach and the force sends them both out the window and into the warehouse below. Glass splinters around them, nicking them both and falling with them.

They land on a pile of stacked boxes with alcohol in it and the bottles shatter under their force. Alcohol coats Cain’s back and splatters on Dean. Cain, quick to recover, throws Dean off from on top of him. He lands on his back off to the side of the, now shattered and well crushed, alcohol boxes. Cain stands and immediately point the gun at him, firing without hesitation again, but the bullet goes in the opposite direction when Dean trips him. It whirls through the air and shatters a skylight sending glass to rain down around them.

Around them there’s screaming and shouting from Cain’s men that are in the warehouse. They’re all running around and pulling out their weapons. One pulls his out and aims it at Dean but gets no further than that before a bullet pierces his skull from the side. His body hits the floor with a deafening _thud_.

Who shot him?

Dean’s eyes snap in the direction that the bullet came from. Standing there is about the last man he’d expected to see. Cas is holding a gun out where he’d just shot that man. It takes a second before chaos unfolds. Cain’s men seem to forget all about Dean in turn to focus on Cas and … shit, that’s his family. The Krushnic family is here with their own men.

What the hell is going on?

Dean’s attention is back on Cain when he sees the man move and pain shoot through his shoulder. Really, it’s Dean’s own stupidity that he gets a bullet through his shoulder. It was a rookie mistake to take his eyes off Cain. A rookie mistake that could have easily cost him his life.

A sharp cry rips from his lungs and his elbow catches him on the concrete before his back can slam into it.

Cain stands and dusts himself off nonchalantly. “You’re supposed to be my best man, Dean. Seeing this, though, I suppose I was wrong to think so. You couldn’t even last five minutes.” The disappointed look in Cain’s eyes makes Dean want to laugh.

Instead, he smirks. “I sometimes seem to think you actually forget that I am your best man, even with you singing my praises night and day.”

He whips a bottle of alcohol, which he grabbed without Cain noticing, at his head. Cain recoils on instinct and covers his face. The bottle shatters against his arms, cutting him and covering him in the liquid.

Dean stands, digging in his pocket. “You of all people should know not to underestimate me.”

Cain lowers his arms and his eyes immediately flick to Dean’s hands. Dean’s holding his lighter. He flips it open and lights it before throwing it at Cain. The second the flames lick at the alcohol, Cain is ablaze. Cain screams curses at Dean and runs at him. Dean tries to jump out of his way but his arms catch him and Cain throws them both out the warehouse’s window. Dean thinks he hears somebody shouting his name, but he can’t be sure because they hit the river and all he can hear is the rushing water.

The current in the river is strong today since they had a storm the other night. It keeps pulling them under and it easily drags them along. Neither one of them let go of the other though. They rip and pull and scratch. They push each other, trying to keep them under the water. Inhibited by the water, their movements are slowed drastically.

While Cain has Dean pushed under, Dean reaches around and takes Cain’s gun from the back of his pants. He doesn’t seem to notice or care. To him it probably doesn’t matter since he still holds Dean’s gun.

Finally, they both pull away from one another and make a break to try and climb ashore. Cain is ahead of Dean and gets up before him. Dean tries crawling up, but his shoulder twinges painfully. It gives Cain enough time to stand and kick Dean in the face back into the water. He gasps and the current pulls him under making him inhale water.

Everything is on its head while he’s underwater, no idea which way is up and which is down. He can’t breathe and it’s getting hard to think. Thankfully he runs into something and he hastily grabs it, his hands slipping every so often, and pulls himself up. He breaks the water’s surface and pulls himself out of the river. He coughs up the water in his lungs, gasping for air once it’s out.

Out of the side of his eye, he sees Cain striding up to him with an air of smug confidence. It makes Dean roll his eyes in irritation. The man caught fire and Dean nearly drowned him and he still has the audacity to look smug about it. There is blood dripping from his arm and down his forehead, following the water’s trail.

He stops five feet from him and steadies the gun at Dean’s head. “It was really a pleasure working with you while it lasted, Dean.” A slow smile makes its way on Dean’s face. It must have caught Cain’s attention because he doesn’t pull the trigger right away. “You still smile, even when you’re about to die.”

He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face if he tried. “I knew a man who once said Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.”

“Ah, yes,” Cain says with a fond tone. “I would expect you to go out no other way. Bad movie quotes and a smile on your face.” He shakes his head. “I will see you in another life, kid.” Cain pulls the trigger and that’s it.

No, really, that’s it. No bullet comes. No pain. Nothing but the pitiful click of a gun with an empty clip.

Cain looks at the gun confused. Dean starts chuckling. Cain tries firing again, but nothing happens again and Dean’s laughter erupts.

“You were so confident.” Dean howls with another laugh. “Oh, the look on your face when you thought you won.” He lets out a delighted sigh and stands up. Water rolls over his face from his hair so he runs his hand through it and pushes it back. “It looks like I didn’t have time to reload my gun.”

“You knew.” Cain growls.

“Of course I knew,” Dean waves the hand that’s holding Cain’s gun. “Why’d you think I took this?” Cain narrows a glare at him when Dean tacks on, “Have you ever thought of how you’d end up biting it?”

Cain says nothing.

“Cause I know _I_ have,” The mirth slips from Dean’s face like mask and the emotionless stare of the Reaper takes its place. He levels the gun to his forehead. “So many times.”

Cain, to his credit, doesn’t even try to escape, most likely realizing it’s futile. “What about that little girl you’ve got back in that hick town you call home?” He says innocently enough.

“What of her?”

“If you kill me, what kind of example is that going to set for her?”

Dean lowers the gun. “Killing you wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve ever done. But I suppose you’re right.” He raises his one brow saying, “That’s why it’s a good thing she’s not here.” and raises his arm and fires.

The bang echoes through the air and carries over the buildings around them. Blood drips between Cain’s eyes and his body falls to the ground like dead weight. He feels eyes on him. Picking up his eyes, he turns his head and meets Cas’ gaze. Even from this distance he can see the piercing blue of them. There is a mixture of emotions behind them. The few Dean catches are relief, sadness and mostly anger.

Cas starts walking to him so he turns to face him completely. The moment Cas is in range, he pulls a fist back and hits Dean as hard as he can in his good shoulder, which is admittedly hard. Dean’s eyes widen, and he stumbles a little from the force.

“You stupid son of a bitch!” Cas growls.

“I deserved that.”

_I deserve worse for what I did. For leaving you and Elizabeth. For making you and everyone worry. God, I’m such an asshole. Sam would put me through the wringer for the shit I just pulled._

Cas hits him again and this time Dean loses balance and tumbles to the ground. “You don’t get to do shit like this! You had people willing to help you and _this_ is what you do?”

Cas drops to his knees, straddling Dean’s legs and Dean closes his eyes waiting for the next blow. It never comes. Instead, Cas’ arms snake around him and pull him into a tight hug. It only takes Dean a second to melt into the familiar touch.

“I’m sorry about Sam.” Cas whispers. Dean tenses and Cas’ hug gets marginally tighter.

“How did you know about that? I just found out.”

“Gabriel found the file.” Cas’ hand runs up Dean’s back and cards through his hair, his face nuzzling into the crook of Dean’s neck.

Gabriel. Right. Cas’ family. His family is here and probably watching them right now. That doesn’t matter though. Not for at least another minute. Hopefully when Dean does meet Michael officially as Cas’ (his boyfriend’s?) father, Michael won’t kill him for hurting his son. In this moment it’s only Dean and Cas, so he holds Cas closer and lays his head on Cas’ shoulder and lets Cas’ embrace comfort him.

“I thought you said you weren’t like your family.” He grumbles after a few beats of silence.

“I’m usually not, but when it comes to people I care about being in danger I tend to lose myself.” Cas admits, sounding sheepish. Cas pulls back and rests their foreheads together and looks into Dean’s eyes. “Elizabeth misses you. I told her you went on an emergency trip and couldn’t see her for a bit.”

Dean groans and closes his eyes, his heart trembles at the thought of how he left her like he did. “I’m such an asshole, fuck, Cas, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” He can tell Cas is smiling a little from the light tone in his voice. “She and Jack both are making welcome home presents for you.”

“What?” Dean’s eyes snap open and meet Cas’.

“They’re excited to give them to you when you get back.”

“Cas, I _left_ her.” Dean shakes his head and Cas frowns. “I don’t _deserve_ to get her back.”

“You did what you did as a means to an end. It was to protect her.” The corners of Cas’ lips turn up a little. “Plus, if you try doing something this idiotic again, I’ll be there to stop you. You simply caught me unaware this time around, but now I know to keep an eye out.”

“Cas-” Dean’s voice wobbles a little and Cas smiles fondly at him, his hand running up through his hair again. He leans in and places a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips that leaves Dean chasing after his lips when he pulls back.

“Let’s go home.”

All he can manage is an affirmative nod.

 

 

His meeting with Cas’ family goes a lot smoother than he ever imagined it would. There aren’t even any threats to his life. There are looks that could kill though, and that’s enough. They are all going to go back home with Dean and Cas too to visit Jack and see the town first-hand. Apparently, they’ve never visited before and were really looking forward to it.

After they patch Dean up that is.

That’s when the withdrawal symptoms hit him and everything is put to an abrupt stop.

Dean tells Cas he didn’t use them intentionally, Cain shot him up in his sleep. Cas looks rightfully outraged by this and promptly tells Dean that if he didn’t kill Cain already he would have done it.

They decide to stay in New York until Dean’s withdrawal is over. They stay in Michael’s home, in Cas’ old bedroom.

The next seven days are hell and no matter how often Dean tells Cas he doesn’t have to stay with him, he stays. He’s there in the morning, afternoon and night. He’s attentive to Dean’s every need and he holds him through the night. Or at least, he tries, until Dean has to throw up. But even then, he’s right there rubbing Dean’s back and whispering reassuring words in his ear.

One night, when Dean is feeling better than the previous days, Cas comes in the room talking on his phone, but he’s holding it away from him so the screen is facing him. Turns out he’s skyping Charlie, Elizabeth, and Jack; Mufasa is a constant company in the background. When Dean sees Elizabeth bouncing on the couch in her spot he’s overcome with emotions and he starts crying. Cas holds him and Dean gets himself under wraps. Then Elizabeth is crying too and he’s lost again.

Cas kisses his temple and runs his hand through Dean’s hair. Elizabeth is signing things quickly, Cas translating them quietly in his ear. After a while, Cas sees Dean looking like he’s about to pass out and tells them they’re going to go. Charlie and Jack say their goodbyes and then Elizabeth.

( _Get better soon! Eat lost of chicken noodle with lots of the magic crackers! Come home safe! I miss you and love you, dad!_ )

Dean’s breath gets knocked out of him with that word and tears swell up again. “( _I miss and love you too, kiddo. I’m sorry I left without saying bye, I’ll see you real soon, okay? Be good for Charlie. I love you._ )” They hang up soon after that and Cas returns to wrapping Dean in his strong arms.

He never knew that hearing one word like that would cause a swell of emotions as strong as this. He bites back his tears and Cas quietly soothes him into a deep sleep.

After the seven days it takes his withdrawal to get out of his system, Dean is more than ready to go home and see Elizabeth. He’s more than ready to make it up to her for leaving. He’s willing to make it up to her for the rest of his life if that’s what it takes. He wants to hold her in his arms and smell the strawberry shampoo she uses. He wants to feel her little arms wrapped around his neck that hug tighter when she thinks he’s about to pull away. He wants to sit on the couch and cuddle and watch Doc McStuffins with her. He wants to show her how sorry he is for everything and he’s never letting go of her again.

Cas rides back with Dean in the Impala. Michael, Lucifer, and Gabriel end up not coming back with them this trip. Michael was the one to point out they need to clean up the mess that was caused by the fight with Cain. Sure, the actual _mess_ is cleaned up, but there is still a lot of disruption caused by it. By the end of the week they hope to come up.

The moment Dean pulls into Cas’ driveway, the front door to the house flies open and two kids and Mufasa sprint out. Dean throws it in park, opens his door and practically throws himself from his seat to scoop Elizabeth up in his arms, Mufasa jumping around and circling his feet. Little arms and legs hug him in a vice like grip. Hair tickles his nose and the moment the scent of strawberry shampoo fills his nose he could cry. He doesn’t, but he easily could if he let himself.

He pulls back enough to look her. “Hey, kiddo. ( _I’m home._ )”

She retracts one hand and waves it at him. A slow smile makes its way on Dean’s face and it keeps spreading so wide it makes her smile wide too.

( _Welcome home._ ) She signs and wraps him in another hug. Her head falls on his shoulder and he rubs a hand on her back.

Dropping his eyes he sees Mufasa staring at him, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, and his tail wagging in the grass. One hand reaches down and pets him on the head and Mufasa leans into the touch. He looks over to see Cas smiling at them with Jack holding his leg beside him. A softer smile takes home on Dean’s face as he looks at Cas.

Movement from behind Cas catches his eye and he looks to it. Sam is standing behind Cas with a heartfelt smile on his face. Dean’s eyes widen a little seeing him, he hadn’t seen him at all when he was back in New York.

Sam walks towards him and when he gets in front of Dean he looks at his daughter. His large hand reaches up to her hair and brushes her hair behind her ear. Dean looks down at her and actually sees her hair being tucked behind her ear. Elizabeth has her eyes closed but she must feel it because she smiles and snuggles closer.

Dean lets out a shocked little breath and looks up at his brother. Sam has watery eyes and he looks back at Dean. His hand drops and the other comes up to land on Dean’s shoulder. Dean gasps at the contact.

“Thank you, Dean.” Sam says with sincerity and that happy look he used to get that made Dean weak.

“Sam?” Dean’s voice is quiet to his own ears, but he still hears the shake.

“You’re going to be a great father, Dean, just like I always knew you would be.” A tear slips down Sam’s cheek and he starts to glow and become transparent. Sam looks down at his hands before back to Dean with a laugh. “Looks like I’m getting told to leave.”

“Sam, are you-”

“I don’t have much time left.” Sam cuts him off with a sad smile and looks back at Cas who is staring at him with incredibly wide eyes. “I like Cas, so try and keep him around, okay? He’s good for you.” Dean nods meekly and Sam looks down at Mufasa, who is staring up at him whining. Sam pats him with a small laugh. “He is too.”

He looks back up at him. “I wish I had more time, I would explain everything,” He’s growing increasingly more transparent by the second. “But it looks like that’ll have to wait until next time, so don’t be too sad.” His hand on his shoulder squeezes. “Just try not to make it too soon. I know you get impatient, but I don’t mind waiting a little while.”

Sam pulls him into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around him and Elizabeth easily. “Take care of yourself, Dean.” Dean quickly wraps his arm around his brother and rests his forehead against his shoulder.

“I will, Sammy.” And just as fast as he showed up, Sam slowly fades into a glowing white wisp of light. Dean’s hand phases right through it and he stumbles a little when his brother is no longer corporeal and can support his weight. Dean rights himself and looks up to see the wisp disappear into the sky.

“Dean?” Cas’ voice is awed and quiet.

Dean wipes at his eyes to get rid of the tears he can feel there. “We should go inside.” Dean looks down at Cas, who is staring in the direction Sam disappeared to before looking down at Dean.

“Yeah … okay.” Cas says with an airy tone.

The smile that twitches at his lips surprises him. The happy feeling niggling in his chest that wind its tendrils throughout him make him feel light. He doesn’t feel sad about losing his brother again because he really didn’t lose him again. He’ll see him again one day. In the meantime, he’s going to live his life the way his brother would have liked him to.

Grabbing Cas’ hand, he starts walking towards the house. Cas looks at him and smiles when he sees the fondness in Dean’s eyes. He squeezes Dean’s hand and holds the other out for Jack, who happily takes it, and they make their way to the house.

“What in the hairballs just happened out there?!” Charlie’s shrill voice rings through the house as soon as they step inside.

Yeah, he could get used to this.


	10. Chapter 10

A week later, Cas’ family keeps their promise to come visit. Michael, Luke and Gabriel all show up Saturday morning on Dean’s doorstep. It’s a surreal moment for Dean welcoming three of the deadliest men he knows into his home. He’s more nervous what they’re going to think of Elizabeth than what they think of him. Thankfully his fears are dashed within seconds of their arrival.

Elizabeth, obviously, is scared at first and hides behind Dean’s legs while they greet Cas and Jack. Gabriel is the first to notice her. He crouches down into a squat so he’s on her level and waves at her.

“What’s your name?” Gabriel asks.

“Elizabeth,” Dean answers for her and reaches a hand behind him to put it on her head. “She’s deaf.”

“Oh,” Gabriel’s eyes widen looking at Dean then back to Elizabeth with a smile. ( _My name is Gabriel. I’m Cassie’s uncle._ )

Her brows furrow in that adorable way when she’s confused. ( _Cassie?_ )

( _Castiel._ ) Gabriel points to Cas who is glaring down at him. ( _I called him Cassie when he was little and it stuck. It’s a lot cuter than Castiel, don’t you think?_ )

Her giggle tells it all but she nods as well. Gabriel beams triumphantly at getting her to laugh.

“Don’t you start getting her to call me that, Gabriel.” Cas warns, but it only makes Gabriel laugh.

After Gabriel breaks Elizabeth out of her shell with that introduction, Michael and Luke introduce themselves as well. They’re all taken with her, but, for whatever reason, she seems to really like Luke. She’s stuck to him like glue. If it weren’t for the occasional twitch of his lips, Dean would think she’s annoying him. When they get outside, he picks her up and he sets her on his shoulders. She squeals in delight. Then he crouches down enough to let Jack climb on his back like a little monkey.

It isn’t long after that when Charlie comes over with the widest grin he’s seen on her yet. She gets out of her car, not batting an eye at all the unfamiliar people on Dean’s porch, and waves something in the air.

“I’ve finished it!” She shouts, coming up on the porch where everyone is. “And I was even kind enough not to project it out on the side of a building in the middle of town.”

And just like that, Dean knows exactly what she is holding in that flash drive. _His montage_.

“Son of a bi-scuit.” He holds out his hand quickly standing. “Here, I’ll take it.”

She gives him a disapproving look. “Are you not gonna watch it?”

“I will later.”

“Oh,” Cas’ voice rings delightedly behind him. “Is that the montage?”

“You bet it is.” Charlie beams. She turns her attention back to Dean with a wide smile. “And let me tell you, Dean, you have some moves.”

Dean doesn’t blush easily, but there is a blush dusting his cheeks. “Give me the flash drive, Charlie.” He goes to take it but Cas steps in and swiftly takes it first.

“I’ve been waiting to see this.” Cas smirks at him.

Dean narrows a challenging glare and points at him. “Don’t-“ but he’s cut off when Elizabeth comes bouncing over. He looks down to see her looking at him with excited eyes.

( _Montage?_ ) She signs. And just like that, his resolve crumbles. God damn him and his weakness for puppy eyed little girls. He thins his lips looking back at Cas, sighing. Cas is looking at him triumphantly and Dean narrows his eyes.

“( _Yeah, kiddo._ )” He looks down at her. “( _Montage._ )”

Looking back up, he sees various levels of extremely amused expressions from the Kruchnics. He sighs. Great.

They make their way inside and Charlie hooks it up to a laptop. Dean is doing his best impression of sinking into the couch cushions. Cas is sitting next to him, comfortably, and Elizabeth is on his lap, happily. The Krushnics are sitting around to watch as well, Jack is sitting on Michael’s lap.

Once Charlie gets it running, music starts playing. It’s upbeat and reminds Dean of something that he’d hear at a club. Then Dean comes into view on the screen and he wants to bury himself into the couch further. Please let this go fast.

It doesn’t.

The room is filled with laughter as the montage plays out. Dean’s face is burning with embarrassment as he watches himself prance out of a closet dramatically to some pop music.

Dean does have to admit though, Charlie did a damn fine job editing it.

Before long, Cas’ hand lands on his knee, his thumb rubbing over his jeans. Dean looks over and sees the amusement in his eyes, but the fondness is brimming in his eyes. After that, Dean finds himself relaxing and enjoying the rest of the montage. When the credits roll, the room is filled with jovial laughter and lighthearted conversation. Everyone is teasing Dean, but Dean doesn’t care. The look on Elizabeth’s face is priceless. She’s looking at him as if he’s hung the moon and stars. She pulls him into an enthusiastic hug, which he returns whole-heartedly.

After the montage, they all talk until noon comes around and then they all decide to go out to get something to eat. Cas and Dean both want to take them to the Roadhouse. Cas, Jack, and Elizabeth ride with Dean in the Impala while Michael, Luke, and Gabriel ride in Michael’s car. When they’re all standing outside, they get a lot of stares from the townspeople passing by, but it doesn’t seem to bother any of them so Dean doesn’t worry about it.

Dean is the first to walk through the door, the bell jingles above his head to signify their arrival. Jo is behind the counter pouring someone’s coffee and looks up with a smile.

“Hey, Dean. I’ll bring your usual out in- oh my god.” Jo seems to stop functioning when she sees Michael and Luke walk in behind him.

Needless to say, their lunch was accompanied by a lot of tattoo talk, which Michael and Luke thankfully don’t seem to mind. If anything they’re looking rather amused.

The rest of the day is mostly uneventful, but they end up staying longer than a day. Dean walks into Cas’ house, grocery bags in hand, to see Gabriel sitting on the floor in front of the couch and Elizabeth sitting behind him braiding his hair. It reminds him of the times Sam let her play with his hair.

“How’d she convince you to let her braid your hair?” Dean questions, pausing in the doorway.

Gabriel looks over at him from the corner of his eye. “What can I say, Dean-o, she’s persuasive. She’s also got some killer puppy dog eyes.”

“Don’t I know it.” Dean laughs. “They’re courtesy of her father.” He says over his shoulder as he makes his way into the kitchen where Cas is cooking something. He puts the bags down on the counter and comes up behind Cas, wrapping him in a hug and kissing his neck. Cas smiles and tilts his head to place a kiss on Dean’s lips.

“Welcome back.” Cas hums against his lips.

“Where do you need me?” Dean asks, kissing him one more time before pulling back and Cas puts him to work chopping vegetables.  

It’s a week before everyone leaves again. Michael and Luke left after two days, but Gabriel decided to stay and usurp all of Cas’ time. Cas enjoyed it though, but by the end of the week Dean could tell Cas was itching for him to leave. Not because he didn’t like his uncle, but because there is only so much Gabriel one man can take. That, and Cas really wants to have Dean and him time.

The only time Dean and Cas get to see each other is when they bump into one another in town or if they’re texting. Dean isn’t going to lie, he’d really like to see Cas again too. And if they look Cas gives Dean every time he sees him is anything to go by, Cas definitely has less than innocent thoughts going on in that beautiful head of his.

Thankfully the time comes for Gabriel to head back to New York.

But the world seems to be working against them.

Dean and Elizabeth (and of course Mufasa wouldn’t stand to be left out) spend a lot of time with Cas and Jack in the next two weeks. They’re all enjoying it, Elizabeth and Jack are thrilled to see each other so often, and that makes Dean and Cas happy as well.

Unfortunately, though, Dean and Cas still can’t get any time alone and it’s starting to get under both of their skin. The looks they are giving each other don’t help. They only need twenty minutes, thirty tops.

Normally they wouldn’t be having so many problems, but Charlie and Gilda had their baby and Scarlet, their baby, takes all of their time.

Then at night, if it isn’t Elizabeth it’s Jack that has nightmares and needs to sleep with them.

Then there are days both of them are simply too tired to even try.

If they can’t find time to have sex soon, Dean is going to lose it. He’s always been a very sexual being, and Cas throwing him bedroom eyes every chance he gets isn’t helping his libido at all.

Finally, the time comes.

Charlie is free to watch the kids and Cas jumps on her (not literally, though that would be hilarious to see) and ropes her into watching the kids so they can go on a date.

As soon as Charlie is at Cas’ doorstep, and they make sure the kids have everything they need, Cas practically drags Dean from the house. It makes Dean laugh and shoot a teasing remark at him when they get in the Impala.

“Somebody’s eager.”

“Don’t act like you’re not.” Cas glares.

“Oh, I’m more than eager.” Dean winks at him and puts Baby into reverse.

Their date is just what the pair needed to relax a little. Both have been high strung for weeks now for a couple reasons. The fact they couldn’t find time to just unwind, and the fact that things are still a little tense since Dean left. Things aren’t perfect between them, but they’re getting better. Cas will still look at Dean like he thinks he may try and leave again when he thinks Dean isn’t looking. All Dean can do is try and reassure him he’s not going to pull that stunt again, and that takes time.

When they get out to the car again, the calm air immediately dives into something more charged and heated between them.

Cas doesn’t waste a minute before he’s pushing Dean up against the Imapla’s door and kissing him ravenously. Dean doesn’t hold back either and give it back just as good as he’s getting. They soon pull back to breathe, both panting heavily. Dean looks into Cas’ eyes and smirks at him. It makes Cas smile and dive back in.

Cas grinds his hips into Dean’s in a languid motion. Dean groans pulling back from the kiss and resting his head back on top of the Impala with a breathy laugh. His neck is complete exposed and practically begging Cas for attention, so he does just that. Kissing and sucking lightly along the expanse of skin. When he gets to the side of Dean’s neck and finds the perfect spot, Dean pushes his hips up and moans, his hands fisting Cas’ shirt.

“You gonna take me right here, or are we gonna find someplace more private?” Dean teases.

“I could.” Cas’ voice growls in his ear. Shivers run down Dean’s spine. “But I’d much rather have you sprawled out and naked on my bed.”

“Yeah,” Dean swallows hard, heat pooling in his stomach and his pants tighten uncomfortably. “Yeah that sounds like a better idea.”

The ride home is pure agony, especially since Cas’ hand is on his thigh. So close, yet so far away. Throwing Baby in park, they push their way inside, Dean’s hands roam Cas’ body as his mouth works at his neck.

Over in the living room, Charlie is sitting on the couch with two sleeping children on both sides of her. She looks over when she hears them enter the house. A look of mock disgust morphs on her face.

“Charlie,” Cas says, his voice a lot huskier than before. “Can you watch them tonight?”

“Ugh, wait until I leave before you go at it.”

“Thank you, Charlie.”

“Yeah, yeah, Go, before I hurl.”

The two tumble up the stairs. Charlie smiles and wakes up the kids so they can leave before Jack can hear either of Dean or Cas’ not so child friendly activity upstairs.

Dean and Cas are both stripping, tumbling over their feet to get to Cas’ room. When both of them are only in their boxers, Cas pushes Dean’s shoulders so he tumbles back onto the bed. He bounces a little before scooting up further on the bed. He props himself up on his elbows and lets his eyes roam over his chest, eyes stopping at Cas’ boxers. Thumbs hook into the waistband and he slowly slides them off himself before he crawls up the bed.

The look in Cas’ eyes is downright predatory and it sends an excited chill rushing through him. He straddles Dean’s hips and pulls him up into another kiss. It doesn’t last as long as the others, and Cas is trailing wet kisses down Dean’s chest. He nips at his hip bones. Dean pulls his bottom lip between his teeth watching him. His hands grip at Dean’s hip tightly as Cas bites the waistband of Dean’s boxers and begins to pull them down.

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean groans and lifts his hips for him.

When his underwear are on the floor, Cas kisses and nips his way back up Dean’s legs, leaving marks in his wake. His tongue licks up the underneath of Dean’s cock all the way to the tip, earning a shutter and a low moan from the man under him. He sucks him down in a slow bob before pulling off. A quiet whine escapes Dean’s throat and Cas chuckles getting up to grab the lube and condom.

“How do you want to do this?” Cas asks as he gets back on the bed.

“I don’t care as long as you get inside me now and don’t hold back, I’ve wanted this for too damn long for you to hold back now. I want you to make sure I feel it tomorrow.” Dean demands.

Cas smiles and leans up, kissing him. “Believe me, I won’t be holding back.”

A wicked smirk spreads across Dean’s lips, “Extra points if you can actually make me beg.” and winks.

“That can be arranged.” Cas growls in his ear.

This is gonna be a hell of a night.

 

 

Cas breathes out a sigh as he slowly rouses from sleep. Morning light shines through the sheer white curtains that are halfway closed over the windows. A light breeze drifts through the open window. The fresh air smells nice and works well to wake Cas up more.

His mind catches up with reality and he looks down, feeling a weight on his chest. Seeing Dean sleeping peacefully curled around him, his heart swells. It may not be the first time seeing Dean like this, but each time he sees him with a relaxed look on his face, his heart soars. He closes his eyes again, not wanting to move and wake Dean up; he needs his sleep. Carding his fingers through Dean’s hair, the man leans into it with a quiet moan, still completely asleep. Although, not a minute later her starts waking up.

Dean hums and blearily grumbles a low, “Cas?”

“It’s okay, go back to sleep.”

Dean hums again and Cas smiles down at him. Downstairs, he hears the front door open. Two sets of little feet come storming up the steps. Soon enough, his bedroom door is flying open and two little monsters run in, flying onto the bed. Elizabeth lands directly on Dean, making the man groan unpleasantly, while Jack throws himself between the two.

“So much for sleeping in.” Dean grouses. There’s a light tone in his voice though, so Cas knows Dean isn’t too broken up over it. Dean cracks a sleep crusted eye open and squints down at Elizabeth. She’s beaming up at him.

Movement comes from the open door. Charlie is standing in the frame with an apologetic look. “Sorry, I tried to stop them.” Cas just smiles and Dean waves a hand.

“‘S all good, Red. We were getting up anyway.” Dean says looking over at her with a smirk.

Charlie rolls her eyes. “I’m letting that nickname slide because you’re still half asleep. I’ll go make some coffee for you two. When you feel like clothing yourselves, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Thank you again, Charlie.” Cas quickly adds before she leaves.

She smiles at him and then disappears behind the wall. “Kids! Who wants some bacon?”

Jack taps Elizabeth’s shoulder with barely contained excitement. ( _Bacon! Follow me._ ) They clamber off the bed hastily and sprint from the room.

Dean chuckles, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Kid after my own heart.”

Cas’ hand runs through Dean’s hair again and smiles. Dean pushes himself up on his elbow, his other hand coming up to cradle Cas’ cheek. Trailing his hand up and around the back of Cas’ head he pulls him down and kisses him.

Cas leans into the kiss with a content rumble in his throat. “Sleep well?”

Dean hums, pulling Cas back in to kiss him again. “Yeah.”

“Good.”

Tough questions come in many forms. They may not be obvious, or they can be a slap in the face, but either way, they’re the ever-present force in many big decisions in life.

Tough questions don’t always have to have tough answers, and maybe not all tough questions are bad, maybe some can even be happy or exciting. But in the end, tough questions are there to push you forward. Perhaps they aren’t verbal questions, but events in which you must decide to push forward or let go. They are there to help you discover who you are.

Tough questions may never be easy to answer, that’s why they’re tough, but Dean knows that without them, even if they seemed unbearable at times, he never would have found his way where he is today. With two adopted children, and the love of his life.

And for that, he is forever grateful.

The smell of coffee and bacon soon fill the air, pulling them from being lost in each other.

“Shall we get dressed?”

Dean kisses him again and says, “Five more minutes.” against his lips.

Cas smiles broadly against his lips agreeing, “Five more minutes.”

 

THE END


End file.
